However, yesterday she said they have a meeting tonight that she "forgot" about. It's about an hour away and they are leaving school at 4:30. I didn't ask anytthing about it: who she was riding with, how late she would be, nothing. I don't think I reacted at all. Before I left this morning, she said who would be watching the kids tonite. I told her, OK and off I went. Just carried on as if she told me she was getting her hair done.
Nice work. Would have been very tempting to grill her, I know. Especially since she was acting like the "alien" again.
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
It was tempting, believe me. I still don't get the flip flopping with her moods. We were talking yesterday about the shortfall in school funding and she brought up how the super turned down his scheduled raise in hopes that the teachers would do the same. Not that he was trying to be a hero, she said, just trying to save money. I didn't really say anything. The teachers did not turn down their raises, and she thought that they were being greedy. I guess I was supposed to agree with her. Ain't happening.
I will confess, my patience is wearing thin. As I said, she hasn't been out late in a while, but her attitude and mood swings continue to mystify me. I know, don't mind read, baby steps, etc....
She hasn't done anything lately for me to say, "OK, that's enough. I won't live like this any longer." I had my chances at that before I found the DR book and this place, and I'm sure that I will have the opportunity in the near future. I think I am finally ready. I can't live like this.
In the mean time: Trying to be patient Learning from my mistakes Loving my kids and drawing strength from them GAL Taking better care of myself than I have in years. Trying to set an example by my actions and not words (previous tues. not included)
Not sure, Pigskin. I think there still is some, but, like I said, it has slowed down in the last few weeks or so. Not that I think it is over by any means. She has started complaining about money being short. I thought to myself, but didn't say out loud, you have been paying a babysitter for a couple hours every night, going out drinking, going to a concert, do you think that's all free? Maybe she's starting to see what she has been doing. I know I've said that before, but...? We'll see now that v'ball is over if that changes anything. Of course, track season is coming up, and she'll be coaching that, too. I think that will be an opportunity for me to say, "We can't afford to have a sitter watch the kids every night while you volunteer your time with something our kids are not even involved in. I understand you want to and enjoy doing it, but why don't we wait until the kids are older?" I'm sure it will not go over well, but that way it's not about me and me being jealous, it's about finances. Feel free to tell me if I'm on the right track here.
Not sure, Pigskin. I think there still is some, but, like I said, it has slowed down in the last few weeks or so. Not that I think it is over by any means. She has started complaining about money being short. I thought to myself, but didn't say out loud, you have been paying a babysitter for a couple hours every night, going out drinking, going to a concert, do you think that's all free? Maybe she's starting to see what she has been doing. I know I've said that before, but...? We'll see now that v'ball is over if that changes anything. Of course, track season is coming up, and she'll be coaching that, too. I think that will be an opportunity for me to say, "We can't afford to have a sitter watch the kids every night while you volunteer your time with something our kids are not even involved in. I understand you want to and enjoy doing it, but why don't we wait until the kids are older?" I'm sure it will not go over well, but that way it's not about me and me being jealous, it's about finances. Feel free to tell me if I'm on the right track here.
I'd bring the money situation up as a way of you addressing a concern of hers, but let her suggest ways to improve it since she's the one with the issue.
I would not mention her blowing money; I'd offer to sit down with her and look at where money is being allocated to see if "WE" can make changes.
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
I had made some plans last night and didn't tell W. She had a school meeting and said she forgot to tell me. Said she would only be about an hour. Well, it was more like two hours. I had the kids showered, homework done and in bed by the time she got home. (I know, I was the baby sitter again)Anyway, when she got home, I put my coat on a got ready to leave. She said she was sorry she was late, meeting ran long. I said, nbd. She says it is a big deal, I had something to do and she was gone again for the second nite this week. I didn't say anything, just started for the door. She followed me to the door and gave me a kiss.
She had to be at work a 4:00 this morning. I got home @ 11:45. She was still up. I came in, changed clothes and got ready for bed. When I came out of the bathroom, I heard the front door close so I put my coat on and went outside to see what she was doing. She was smoking so I grabbed one too. She asked if I had a good time, I said yes. I asked what she was still doing up, she said she couldn't sleep. She finished her smoke and went in. I was half way done with mine but went in also. She said to stay and finish it, no, I'm tired and want to go to bed. She went in the bathroom and I want to bed. She came in a few minutes later and laid down, too. No good-night or anything. I think I was asleep in about two minutes.
I know I screwed up by following her outside and asking why she was still awake. Things still catch me off guard. I do think I learn with each mistake I make. Other than that, a pretty good night I guess.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Happy hour tonight and Hooters and playing cards tomorrow night.
<rolling eyes>
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
what smells good.
