help with a plan

[Marked&Healed]

I don't know if I would say that to her. How about saying instead that you'd like her to sit down with you and do a budget and then agree that no money gets spent unless it's on the budget. When she wants money for a babysitter, she can budget for it, and do without elsewhere, or find the money some other way (second job?) Don't put restrictions on her, but don't give in to her either. You don't have to fund her fun, but you shouldn't be telling her no either. It will only lead to resentment tied to "DH didn't let me do 'X' - he's so mean" This may not work as often aliens don't want to live in reality, it's the ultimate escape that she's partaking in and budgets and money are in the real world, so she doesn't want to deal with that, but it's way better to have the paper/budget tell her no than you do it.

[idontunderstand]

I had some trouble at first with GAL. I felt guilty about not being home for my kids. I am slowly letting go of the guilt. I am there for them always, and when I am out, if my daughter doesn't call me first, I will call them and tell them good-night and I love you and I'll see you in the morning. I have nothing to feel guilty about.

BTW, you guys are right about the cologne. I haven't used any for years and bought some last week. And she asked me about it, all right. Just told her it was aftershave.

Had a good time last night and was home by 9:00 to tell the kids good-night. Tonight, it's Hooters and Texas Hold'em. There is a Hooters close to work so it makes it easy to decide where to go. Plus, the buffaloe shrimp is great!

I still want my wife back but am learning what detachment is really all about.

IDU

[Marked&Healed]

Good on you, getting noticed on the cologne and getting out! Have fun!

[idontunderstand]

Had a blast last night. I think I ended up about $5.00 ahead playing quarter limit poker. Had a few too many beers and could use a few more hours of sleep but feel pretty good this morning.

Question for anyone:
When I paid the bill at Hooters, hooters girl took my credit card and brought it back for me to sign, my copy had hearts all over it and her phone#, call me sexy, and other flirty stuff all over it. Now, I'm not dumb enough to think it's really her phone# or anything else, she was working for her tip. Should I let W find this? I cash my check on the way home every Fri. and she usually will get some money out of wallet before she leaves for work on Sat. morning. Should I leave receipt in my wallet so she would see it?

Just wondering.........

[sandi2]

Should I leave receipt in my wallet so she would see it?

As a woman, my first thought is that it's too obvious you are wanting to make her jealous.

[idontunderstand]

Thanks, Sandi.
That's kind of what I was thinking, too.
It is tempting, though! I won't call the number,probably not a real number anyway, but it did feel kinda good! I'm not kidding myself, she is a Hooter's waitress and flirting is part of her job. On the other hand, she is a Hooter's waitress!

[gucci loafer]

Should I leave receipt in my wallet so she would see it?

I would for sure. If you are going to leave it in your wallet you better be sure you are acting as if you have "let go".. The way she has been acting she is going to act like she could care less.

If she brings it up just tell her something like this..

"Oh, I didn't really even notice that she left her number on the receipt but she was probably just trying to get me to give her a big tip."




THEN DROP THE SUBJECT and turn your attention to something else. Make it seem as if it was no big deal..

If she doesn't bring it up.. SAY NOTHING... Fold it up and put it deeper in a compartment of your wallet or whatever..

Do NOT bring it up unless she says something....




LET HER WONDER.. So what if she "thinks" you did it to make her jealous. The key is to let her "wonder".....

Did he or didn't he?... HMMMM.... As you well know from going through this with your wife, it is the WONDERING what is going on that drives a person crazy. LET HER WONDER

[idontunderstand]

Thanks, Gucci

I wish I would have listened to you,PDT,Coach, Sandi, etc., when I first got here. I was in full panic mode and worried that I was running out of time. I am doing some things that I have learned here and, of course, they work! That's why I posted the question about the Hooter's girl. I want her to wonder, right?

We'll see.....

[Steve McQueen]

Question for anyone:
When I paid the bill at Hooters, hooters girl took my credit card and brought it back for me to sign, my copy had hearts all over it and her phone#, call me sexy, and other flirty stuff all over it.
Just wondering.........

girl knows how to work the crowd. text her. bet all her regulars are her texting buddies. does she bartend too?

[idontunderstand]

Plans for the weekend:

Taking kids to see How To Train A Dragon tomorrow. W is working.

Going out with friends tomorrow night to listen to a band.

Church and all the regular stuff Sun.


Just going to enjoy the weekend. Hope everyone else does the same!