I feel really calm actually. Confident. I actually had a NAP! Me! the guy who never takes naps in his life!
Just something I also learned so far:
How valuable it has been not been a douchebag to her family during this 12 years of relationship. It has paid. They trust me. They've offered me support, etc. Of course, I won't treat them as my friends right now but they're making it easier for me to go through this.
Last edited by Fracesc; 03/27/1002:39 PM.
Separated: March 1 * Affair discovered: 20-March * Exposed: 27 March * Def. separation: May 1st *
I'm wondering just how much self-righteousness and "outrage" will be exhibited by your Mrs.
Very interested in this, Kimmie.
Over the phone, she tried to act as if she didn't know what was I talking about. Then, I told her "Stop. Don't even bother lying. I know" She kept quiet for the rest of the call.
But surely by know, she'll be outraged that I read her emails (she only suspects this), contacted her family, took the money, etc At least that's what I'm expecting her to throw my way.
Anywho, I won't have a conversation with her or apologise, that's definite.
But I'd like to understand how you guys have dealt with these things: Privacy ( I feel a bit guilty of going through my wife's emails), also there's this thing about if it should be ME letting OM W about the affair, etc
Right now, the only way I've come to terms with this is that I've done all of this for the right reasons. Not to deceive anyone. Unlike my W and OM.
But interested to know how you guys have dealt with this.
Let's see, she will be outraged that you read her emails or... you should be outraged that she is having an affair for quite some time under your nose
Let's put those on a scale and see which one has more weight.
Yeah, and I can't wait for the typical WAW shriek, "HAVE YOU BEEN SPYING ON ME-E-E-EEE??!!!" Such a lame-ass line, like something out of a bad movie. Have you been SPYING ON ME-E-E-E-EEEEE??!! Never get tired of that lame sh!t.
Un-f*cking believable when they have the nerve to try to deflect the blame.
Little tidbit - here's why the law of attraction doesn't "work" - if I want to attract a job and you want the same job, who gets it? The one who "attracted" it longer?
God is what we are talking about when people mention "the universe" - and He is fair and kind and JUST - no one person counts more than another.
He gave us free will, and she has free will.
Sorry, still on page 1 of your sitch, just started reading, and wanted to let people know - whether you believe in God or a higher power or not, the whole "attraction" thing doesn't work logically for that very reason.
Of course this is not easy to ignore, as you are activating the vibration of what you want, and as you look for what you want, what you want is being manifested to you.
This is often the way relationships start. Someone we are perhaps interested in, offers us the possibility of something more, and as we look for similarities in that person, those similarities become manifested to us.
We often see this in many new relationships, and because each of the partners are looking for, “the things that make them happy”, these new relationships tend to be fun, exciting, joyful and passionate.
And then, as they relationships age, there is less fun, less excitement, less joy and less passion, and as these feelings start to dwindle, it is then that many people look for a change of behaviour in their partner, in an attempt to relight the spark.
It is this ‘pressure to change’ that is the cause of most discord in most unhappy and broken relationships, and the sooner that people realized that they do not need to change another, in order for them to feel good, the easier, more joyess, and more satisfactory these romantic relationships will be.
You see, the grass can never be greener on the other side, until you learn to appreciate the grass you have.
Before you go running away from a satisfactory relationship to find this fun, exciting, joyful and passionate new relationship, consider this….
This new relationship will only stay as a fun, exciting, joyful and passionate relationship, for as long as you look to it for this purpose. You can only manifest to you, what you are predominantly vibrating, and for as long as you vibrate this fun, this excited, this joy and this passion, that shall be your experience.
As indeed, it probably was with your husband.
So before calling a premature end to a marriage that is everything you asked it to be, why not try to ask for your marriage to be something else.
And I don’t mean changing the way your husband behaves, I mean adjusted your vibration to the very best of what your husband has to offer.
Concentrate all your thought on the very best of your husband, notice his good points, his qualities and his positives. Ignore his negatives and offer this side of him no thought, no feeling, and no vibration.
Start your day in gratitude for him, and never expect him to be different in order for you to be happy.
If you can do this, then your husband will always offer you exactly what you think and feel about him, or if he does not match this positive vibration, then you will naturally begin to drift apart.
By doing this, at least you would have given you marriage a chance, you would have taken control of your emotions and created your reality, instead of drifting from one thing to another.
Separated: March 1 * Affair discovered: 20-March * Exposed: 27 March * Def. separation: May 1st *
“If you feel drawn to someone, but you are annoyed because you think that they are telling you some lies, try to look beyond the lies and try to focus upon the feeling. People offer all kinds of words for all kinds of different reasons. Most lies are offered to try to keep things in alignment. We’re not encouraging it, but the motive behind lying is usually a pretty honorable motive. In other words, when a child lies to their parents, it’s usually because they want to be free to do what they want to do, and they don’t want their parents to be upset about it. It’s about wanting an alignment. Physical ears have a hard time hearing this. You keep talking about “We need to be honest.” And we say, we don’t meet any of you who are honest. Even those who claim to be the most virtuous, are not honest, but your vibration always is. We would trust the feeling more than the words.”
Separated: March 1 * Affair discovered: 20-March * Exposed: 27 March * Def. separation: May 1st *
