The purpose of the meeting would be to allow your wife to speak to you, and for you to listen. Since it's about 90% likely that she will LIE to you, our further purpose is for her to do just that, so you can gain credibility with her family.
It is NOT for you to make any concessions whatsoever, nor for you to explain your actions, other than a (if she asks you why you exposed to OM's W) "I decided that she had a right to know the truth" or (if she asks you why you've done all of this) "Everything I've done, I've done either to protect myself or to fight for my marriage."
Frace, (if she asks you why you exposed to OM's W) "I decided that she had a right to know the truth"
Puppy
So, do I hold of OM's W to have this chat with my W? Again, I'm trying my best to contact her but it's easter holiday over there. God knows when she or her sister will check their messages. Again, trying.
Also, I'm just asking this question in case she wants to put an end to this right now
"Well our marriage is over, sorry you found out that way".
Would a: "Ok, that's your decisions, I'll deal with mine. For me, it's not over and will fight for my marriage". How does that sound?
Last edited by Fracesc; 03/29/1012:55 PM.
Separated: March 1 * Affair discovered: 20-March * Exposed: 27 March * Def. separation: May 1st *
I don't think it's a dealbreaker one way or the other, Frace. But yes, I would try to avoid it. You can tell your wife (and her family) "We will talk soon; I'm just not ready yet."
If it takes more than a week for you to get in touch with OM's W, then you're going to have to meet with your wife at some point, just to hear her out. You probably won't be able to believe a word that comes out of her mouth, but your shared history together earns her at least that much at this stage.
Well, not really. To be honest I've been putting all my energy in this. I know it's wrong. I'm trying to change that but it's just that this whole thing has been so sudden. I had to tell my family yesterday we were separated. Didn't mention the affair. They were crushed but very supportive. It was tough still.
Now, I've found out W is also hiding from me on Facebook now. That means she's angry I guess. Or nervous of what I might find in her profile.
Trying to think of other stuff. Finding it hard.
Separated: March 1 * Affair discovered: 20-March * Exposed: 27 March * Def. separation: May 1st *
Actually, this is good. You don't need to see or hear from her on FB. You need to GAL and stick to the plan. We've all been there and I saw my divorce through...wouldnt wish it on anyone.
Formerly SGfan M:38 W:33 M:8 yrs T:10 yrs Bomb: Dec '08 Separated: 4/18/09 Divorce: 8/28/09 XW Affair began: April 08
