Hey all, I often see suggestions of books that are good for a troubled marriage or spiritual growth or personal insight. I write them down here or there and always intend to look them up in the library or purchase a few but has yet to do it. I bet many would like a list of what books really helped others.
I would love an evolving "Master List" of sorts. If people could post a book they found helpful a possible subject it would fall under ie. affairs, or self-esteem, etc. and maybe their personal comments on the book I would love it!
After a few posts I or anyone (since this is for all) could list the title and author by subject lists. And then with more additional posts the "Master List" can be continually updated.
So people please list those books!!!!
Last edited by june72; 03/29/1004:06 AM.
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus...John Gray. This classic book isn't for every couple, but if you read a few chapters and lightbulbs start going off, then its probably going to help you understand how communication with the opposite sex actually needs a roadmap.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work...John Gottman. To me this book wasn't so much helpful in actually making marriage work, but rather in understand what marriage "poison" is and then you can find out how to avoid it.
Why Men Love Bitches...and No More Mr. Nice Guy. These books say basically the same thing to men and women: "gain his/her respect or he/she won't be sexually attracted to you, period".
I am just finishing Male Menopause, and Surviving Male Menopause books by Jed Diamond and I can highly recommend them to men and women on these boards.
Also Read the whole thread on the above link there are more suggestions for all 13 pages. Just reread part of it and all the books I recently read are on it.
-Hold on to Your NUTs: The Relationship Manual for Men Wayne Levine Outside of DR this is one of the better books I have read in awhile. I didnt care to much for him trying to "pitch" his retreats throughout the book, but the rest of it was very good.
M:40 W:40 D: 21 S: 18 D: 17 Md: 18 years -1/19/2010 W wants out -6/03/10 "Live for today, for tomorrow is promised to no-one.."
Pilot- gold, absolute gold. Will have to extract some of that stuff.
Here is a book that is slightly off topic but I really found helpful- Who Moved My Cheese? An Amazing Way to Deal with Change in Your Work and in Your Life, by Spencer Johnson
written in the style of a parable or business fable. It describes change in one's work and life, and four typical reactions to said change by two mice and two "littlepeople", during their hunt for cheese. A New York Times business bestseller since release, Who Moved My Cheese? remained on the list for almost five years and spent over 200 weeks on Publishers Weekly's hardcover nonfiction list
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
Credit below goes to Snodderly and Sting from a thread in the MLC archives:
Depression:
The Depression Source Book by Brian P. Quinn, C.S.W., Ph.D. Understanding Depression by Raymond DePaul, Jr., M.D. The Secret Strength of Depression by Frederic Flac I Don't Want To Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression by Terrence Real Unmasking Male Depression by Archibald Hart The Pain Behind The Mask: Overcoming Masculine Depression by John Lynch, Christopher T. Kilmarting The Noonday Demon, An Atlas of Depression by Andrew Solomon Unholy Ghosts, Writers on Depression by Nell Casey Depression, Questions You Have...Answers You Need by Sandra Salmans
Personality Disorders:
I Hate You–Don't Leave Me: Understanding Borderline Personality by Jerold J. Kriesman, Hal Straus Stop Walking On Eggshells by Paul T. Mason Narcissism–Denial Of The True Self by Alexander Lowen, M.D. Narcissism and Character Transformation, The Psychology of Narcissistic Character Disorders by Nathan Schwartz-Salant Malignant Self Love, Narcissism Revisited by San Vaknin, Ph.D. Why Is It Always About You, Saving Yourself From the Narcissistic In Your Life by Sandy Hotchkiss, LCSW Living with the Passive Aggressive Man, Coping With Hidden Aggression–From The Bedroom to The Boardroom by Scott Wetzler, Ph.D. Nasty People: How To Stop Being Hurt By Them Without Becoming One of Them by Jay, Psy.D Carter Controlling People, How To Recognize, Understand, and Deal With People Who Try to Control You by Patricia Evans Stop Being Manipulated by George H. Green, Ph.D., Carolyn Cotter, MBA In Sheep's Clothing, Understanding And Dealing With Manipulative People by George K. Simon, Jr., Ph.D.
Mid-Life Subjects:
Men in Mid-Life Crisis by James Conway Your Husband's Mid-Life Crisis by Sally Conway Surviving Male Menopause, A Guide For Women and Men by Jed Diamond Male Menopause by Jed Diamond Understanding Men's Passages by Gail Sheehy
Abusive Subjects:
Allies in Healing, When The Person You Love Was Sexually Abused As A Child by Laura Davis Abused Boys, The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse by Mic Hunter Victims No Longer, Men Recovering From Incest And Other Sexual Child Abuse by Mike Lew
Miscellaneous Subjects:
When A Mate Wants Out, Secrets for Saving a Marriage by Jim and Sally Conway Moving On After He Moves Out by Jim and Sally Conway Love Must Be Tough, New Hope for Families In Crisis by Dr. James C. Dobson The Myth Of The Greener Grass, Affair-Proof Your Marriage, Restore Your Love, Recover Your Dreams by J. Allan Petersen Mars and Venus, The Languages of Love by John Gray, Ph.D. After the Affair: Healing The Pain and Rebuilding Trust When A Partner Has Been Unfaithful by Janis Abrahms, Phd Spring, Michael Spring What About The Big Stuff, Finding Strength and Moving Forward When The Stakes Are High by Richard Carlson, Ph.D. Divorce Busting by Michele Weiner-Davis Who Moved My Cheese by Spencer Johnson, M.D. Relationship Rescue by Phillip C. McGraw, Ph.D. Solo Partner by Phil Deluca
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
Here are some other good ones I have read, or that were recommended to me by relationship councilors over the last while. Some have some good scientific facts, others add a little humor, but they are all helpful:
His Needs, Her Needs How to affair proof a marriage - by Dr. Harley (works for marriages that arent in an adultry situation too.)
How To Hug a Porcupine: Dealing with Toxic and Difficult to Love Personalities - Dr. John Lund
The Case for Marriage- Linda Waite and Maggie Gallasker
Avoiding Emotional Divorce - Dr. John Lund
Hope for the Separated: Wounded marriages can be healed - Gary Chapman
Marital Relationships Seminar - Douglas E. Brinley
Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps - Barbara Pease
Why Marriages Succeed of Fail: And How you can Make Your's Last - John M. Gottman
When Men Batter Women: New INsites into Ending Abusive Relationships - John M. Gottman
The Marriage Clinic: A Scientifically Based Marital Therapy - John M. Gottman
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
Torn Asunder: Recovering from Extramarital Affairs, by Dave Carder
Getting Back Together: How to Create a New Loving Relationship With Your Old Partner and Make It Last, by Masa Goetz
The former is helpful in understanding how affairs get started, types of affairs, stages both spouses go through, etc. The latter has a lot of info about working on yourself while you're separated, that I think could be beneficial whether you get back together or not
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
