WAW and the law of attraction

[Puppy Dog Tails]

We never discussed confronting other man.
I do have his contact details. Is it even worth doing that?

NO.

Puppy

[WalkingMan]

Trust me, FB can be the worst thing ever. I went throught this phase of checking my xw's FB and all it did was depress me.

I could see that she had re-created our life together with another man. The OM looks like me, she got a dog, same nieghborhood...she does and says the same things she said with me. She's trying to return to 'good girl' status again.

The fact is that the odds of a relationship started as an affair working out are slim. My xw seems to think she can just start over with someone else without addressing her core issues.

But seeing all this just ends up hurting you and keeps you from GAL. The key for all of us LBS's is to really work on ourselves and learn to be happy on our own. You must learn to respect yourself so others (even W) can, too.

[FormelyknownasF]

Update, OM W finally replied! She asked some questions before she'd proceed. More evidence and sent me a friend request on FB. Waiting for her to drop the bomb on OM.

[Gnosis]

Update, OM W finally replied! She asked some questions before she'd proceed. More evidence and sent me a friend request on FB.

Looks like patience paid off for you. What did she sound like in the tone of her message?

Oh and I'm off to bed... no rush on the reply.

[FormelyknownasF]

She sounded distressed but calm. I think she suspected. Her reply was:

"Hi ______ . You can imagine what this represents to me and my family so first I need to know how did you get my details, if you have more evidence and if you can tell me in which dates your W was in town"

Then, she added me as a friend.

[FormelyknownasF]

I guess I just need to provide whatever she needs for reassurance and then sit tight.
What should I expect next?

[jasper67]

I wouldnt give away the source of intel until you feel more comfortable w/ her...you can trust yourself to not give away the source, but can you trust someone else?

Please verify w/ some of the more experienced people.

I did expose to OM1 GF and she spilled some of the other details...I had asked her not too..but when the liars lie you have to remember that they will lie even w/ HARD evidence so it's a trap

[FormelyknownasF]

Not discussing source of my intel with her.
It's pretty obvious, though. Most of them are emails.

She didn't ask how did I find out. Again, it's pretty obvious.

And I was honest about how I got her details. Her husband's FB page.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

I guess I just need to provide whatever she needs for reassurance and then sit tight.
What should I expect next?

You can expect, from your wife, over the next week or two alternating fits of "syrupy sweet" and "blind rage," as she struggles to regain CONTROL of you and her fantasy. You have upset the apple cart and the equilibrium, and she will try VERY hard to re-establish it, by whatever means she feels might be effective. (Notice, she already tried "nice/sweet" -- expect livid anger and spew next. If you don't respond to THAT, she'll switch tactics back yet again).

At least, that's how it usually goes.

Puppy

[Puppy Dog Tails]

You can also ABSOLUTELY expect her to use the line "Well, I was GOING to reconsider getting back with you, but NOW YOU'VE BLOWN IT!" -- or something very similar. Happens EVERY time.

As SmileysPerson used to say around here, you're heading into your "just smile and wave" stage.

My wife, while she was having her affair, would tell me how PISSED she was that I exposed. I mean, blind rage kind of anger. I would just calmly say "I hear you -- I'd be pissed too. I get it. I felt he/she/they had a right to know the truth." or, "I decided that I'm not going to lie to cover up your affair," or "Everything I've done, I've done to fight for our marriage and our family. I don't expect you to agree, or be happy with me right now -- I'm fine with that."

And then go about my GAL business.

Puppy