Formerly, I guess there's always exceptions but usually the OM is just a fantasy. What I mean is that the Om is nothing but chemicals and a teenage idea of romance.
It takes time, but reality sets in eventually....
Formerly SGfan M:38 W:33 M:8 yrs T:10 yrs Bomb: Dec '08 Separated: 4/18/09 Divorce: 8/28/09 XW Affair began: April 08
I hear the term "chemicals" thrown about loosely, "she has those in love chemicals and it's clouding her brain", she once had those "in love chemicals" for you too, until you did things which killed the attraction between the 2 of you, aside from busting the affair what will your plans be to start flicking those attraction switches in the opposite direction?
Those chemicals & feelings are not fake, they're real. You contributed to this regardless if you know it or not.
I get what you mean. I've read about it and absolutely believe this is true. In the case of my wife, it's LITERALLY teenage love. This guy was her teacher when she was 13 or something. She had a crush on him, he had a crush on her (sick, I know). 20 years later, they find each other on FB. Then in real life.
I think half of the world is going to need so much therapy in a few years. FB is messing up human relationships more than we can tell.
Life is wise. Some things are better leave behind. That's why life moves on. That's why you can't be friends with everybody, all the time.
I'm off topic here... sorry. So yes, I do hope she finds a way out of that closet she's locked herself into somewhere in her own mind.
Today, I feel really angry at her. So won't say anymore about being sympathetic to her situation.
Separated: March 1 * Affair discovered: 20-March * Exposed: 27 March * Def. separation: May 1st *
That's why I'm trying to GAL, to look good, feel good, etc.
The sad thing is I wasl already planning todo all of that anyway. Before the WAW, before the affair. That WAS our anniversary trip idea, my idea to relaunch the relationship. Start dating again, etc
But she couldn't wait. 1 week, she couldn't wait. She had to find someone else. Patience has never been her virtue. And yes, I take responsibility for letting those feelings fade.
Separated: March 1 * Affair discovered: 20-March * Exposed: 27 March * Def. separation: May 1st *
That's why I'm trying to GAL, to look good, feel good, etc.
The sad thing is I wasl already planning todo all of that anyway. Before the WAW, before the affair. That WAS our anniversary trip idea, my idea to relaunch the relationship. Start dating again, etc
But she couldn't wait. 1 week, she couldn't wait. She had to find someone else. Patience has never been her virtue. And yes, I take responsibility for letting those feelings fade.
she's probably been waiting for years bro, not 1 week, time to think outside the box ;-)
Also, I don't know what I can be doing about them right now, robx. I'm not allowed to be in touch with her until when...? Then I can start doing something more directly about those switches.
Separated: March 1 * Affair discovered: 20-March * Exposed: 27 March * Def. separation: May 1st *
years bro, not 1 week, time to think outside the box ;-)
touché. Won't make any excuses.
Life has been complicated for us, financially, emotionally. We moved country, were unemployed, that sucked up so much things but I always felt the love was there. Stronger than ever. At least that's what she made me feel.
Last edited by Formelyknowas; 04/01/1008:27 PM.
Separated: March 1 * Affair discovered: 20-March * Exposed: 27 March * Def. separation: May 1st *
Also, I don't know what I can be doing about them right now, robx. I'm not allowed to be in touch with her until when...? Then I can start doing something more directly about those switches.
clean yourself up, take a look at your existing style: clothes, hair, shoes, etc. and mix it up, go out shopping, treat yourself to some new clothes. If you don't already, start hitting the gym, sweating, working out with weights, some decent intense workouts, get more testosterone pumping in your veins, that will get you feeling better, more aggressive, more assertive, more confident, improved body image will do wonders for your self esteem.
And then..... social interactions with members of the opposite sex.... AKA dating.
Isn't dating cheating a bit? I'm separated not divorced. Wouldn't that send the wrong message to her? That I simply don't care about our marriage again? or that I want to get back at her?
Separated: March 1 * Affair discovered: 20-March * Exposed: 27 March * Def. separation: May 1st *
