Should I Tell Her to Move On???

[gr8 day 2B alive]

Just a little journaling this morning.

I dropped the kids off this morning at W place and she looked good for 7:30am. W works in a lab where they are not allowed to wear any make-up and for her to have on in the morning is unusual.(She gets home at 1:00am from second shift).

We briefly talked about the holiday and everything is worked out with the kids.

W tone of voice was upbeat too. She has been very somber when I drop the kids off.

Well, maybe she has notcied the efforts I am putting in and is becoming more friendly towrds me or maybe someone else is making her feel all warm inside. Tick tock, time will time.

Still no meeting in place to discuss the post-marital agreement. But I have noticed she always emails me on Thursdays for some reason. I tune in tomorrow.
As for me IC tonight, Yoga tomorrow night, then a fishing season opens Saturday!

[gr8 day 2B alive]

Not into the whole DBing this morning. I was up late last night thinkingabout moving on. Spent time looking online for a new home for myself and kids.
Starting to feel like a WAW in that I feel she will never change and I want more out of life than this. Maybe I'm little down today but somethings telling me that I should be looking to start a new life soon.

I guess this is how the whole ILYBINILWY feelings start.

[mza8]

Hey gr8, just checking in with you. You sound like I did for a bit yesterday. After reading several updates of others here, I think it was the Easter holiday that seemed to get some people down. I starting feeling sad for myself yesterday too but I would not allow myself to go there. So I got out and GAL.

Just sounds like you're having a bad day or two. It's normal. When I have those moments, I now tell myself to give myself a day or two if necessary to think and refocus. Seems to work well. The good thing for me now is that I can now recognize the signs of my depression and anxiety trying to creep back in. When that happens I can snap out of it pretty quick now. Tells me that I've come a long way. If I can do this then you can do it. Hang in there buddy, you're just having a bad day.

One of the things my DB coach told me early on was not to focus on the negatives and instead look for the positives. My DB coach said that we tend to only see the negative. She is right. I do see some positives. Yes, it's not moving at the pace that I would like but I have to be patient. At times it seems like my W does something the slightest bit positive but then does something which makes me feel like she is still in the fog. I think it's all part of the process my friend.

Gr8, you even said it yourself last week that you have seen some positive signs from your W. Remind yourself of those positive signs. Remember that things have to get friendly between the two of you before any work on the M can be started. I know you know all of this but sometimes it's helpful for us to be reminded of it. I'm here for you man. You and I will get through this together. We must have more patience with this process than anything we have ever faced in our lives.

I'll be posting my update in a bit. Trust me, I have thoughts lately of my M working or not but I remind myself that this is what I want and I'm not going to give up. Stay strong gr8!

[gr8 day 2B alive]

I guess the reason I'm not feeling up today is b/c in 2 weeks W is going away for a few days with her "single partying friends"

Part of me feels she needs to get away to unwind but the other half is telling me she is going to w!ore it up.

I think there will be a turning point after that weekend.



Greek, If you have any questions far me LMK. Here are some of my thoughts:

Another note, her family contacts me on Easter wishing me well.

It's going on 4 weeks since she said we will meet to discuss the PM agreement. Why is she dragging her feet on this?

I sometimes feel she is playing the field to see whats out there and knows she has me to fall back to.
Other times I think she is waiting to see if the changes I have made recently are going to stay.

Time to focus on the kids again.

[gr8 day 2B alive]

Thanks for the pep talk mza8.

I do well for awhile but then I feel the need to talk to friends about the situation.
I am trying to get away from talking to friends about ALL the details.

I was looking for someone to tell me to keep at it. Patience.
My group of friends are there for me and want me to be happy.

someimes I don't know what I want to do.
I will stop by your way at lunch.

[Greek]

My W has just given up on me b/c she thinks I can't change. I'm sure she tried to make things better over the past year if not more but I was inresponsive to her actions.

It really did take her saying she's leaving to wake me up and take action.

She asked me many of time " Why did it have to come to thjis for me to respond?"

I couldn't give her an answer before but now I realize my problems and can answer her.

Problem is she most likely doesn't care now.

How long have y'all been separated?

I guess the reason I'm not feeling up today is b/c in 2 weeks W is going away for a few days with her "single partying friends"

Part of me feels she needs to get away to unwind but the other half is telling me she is going to w!ore it up.

But really...is that the kind of woman she is? That she would w!ore it up? Reign in that imagination. It's going to eat you alive if you don't.

More later.
Greek

[Ken62]

Hey gr8 and mza8,

Glad to see that I wasn't the only one not feeling it lately. I do think the Easter holiday had something to do with it. I went to the vigil for 3 hours and mass yesterday morning (in the choir) and both sermons really got me down. The first one talked about going through your old photo albums and the second one talked about sitting aroun your Easter table and telling stories of the past. Two things I did NOT need to think about. Then OM comes into town from 1000 miles away and it's my BD tomorrow. Could it GET any better? I've been following your sitches and mine is a little different but we all share that WAW thing. Check out my sitch if you get a chance and best of luck to both of you.

[DaddyLongShanks]

Ken62,

How did you know OM was coming into town?

[gr8 day 2B alive]

Greek, Thanks so much for stopping by.

We have been separated since 11/1/2009. 8/21 bomb.

"But really...is that the kind of woman she is? That she would w!ore it up? Reign in that imagination. It's going to eat you alive if you don't."

She's not known to be like that but since she is going away with other women who are it is concerning to me.

They say something about the company you keep.

I don't know how folks on this site deal w/ cheaters.

I know I would never want my W back after she sleeps with someone else. That's just me.

My W and I had strong feelings about that and we both agreed there would be no reconciliation if one of us cheated.

Call me old fashion but this something we both agreed on long ago.

I do believe we are still married and if she cheats that will give me reason to file myself and no be so nice in the process.

These are my values and I can't compromise on infidelity.

[Ken62]

Ken62,

How did you know OM was coming into town?

Sorry to hijack but I wanted to answer this question.

W told both D19 and S23 and they told me. They do NOT approve of what Mom is doing and they let me know things. It's as if she wants them to meet him and approve and I think she was just giddy like a teenager that her BF was coming to see her and it had been two months since they last saw each other and it was going to be a whole two more months before they would see each other again. blah, blah, blah, teenage crap!