WAW and the law of attraction

[FormelyknownasF]

How's she going to notice apart from the exposing? She's even blocking me on facebook It's an honest concern.

Just to reassure you, that doesn't change the fact that I'm keeping myself busy. I joined a basket ball team. It's been ages since I've been in activities with other males. With my W it was always about couples. So it's good.

Today also so I'm going to a BBQ with a friend. She's introducing me some new people. It'll be interesting.

I'm posting pictures from my new experiences on facebook but again, she'll never find out. She blocked me and deleted all of my friends from hers.

[robx]

I had some other ideas.

Show up at unexpected places, doing unexpected things, i.e. Once a week change my commute to work so every now and then we bump into each other. New clothes, new look and contact lenses should do the talk.

Or, right at the end of the meeting with my W's friend, say I can't stay longer and leave for lunch with an attractive female co-worker.

I don't know about you but I'm not seeing this as "pursuing" since I don't intend to talk or approach my W. You have to remember, since we don't live together, I have no other way to show the new, more confident, fit and mysterious me. I understand it's important that I make her curious and wonder.

I don't know if those are good ideas but right now, I'm considering them because last time she tried to contact me was March 27. That's 15 days.

Apart from exposing the affair, I haven't had proper contact with my wife since Feb 24.

Am I getting too impatient?

Yes you are too impatient.
Your goal isn't to show her the new, more confident, fit and mysterious you. Who told you that?
You don't sound confident btw.
You are worried about the amount of time lapsing between your last contact with her - that's your insecurity and neediness talking, not confidence. Being mysterious.... well you won't accomplish that by bumping into her accidentally on purpose. Why is it important to make her curious and wonder? Who told you that?

Get a real life.
Not a fake one put up for display so that your wife can see you and all of your glorious changes and frankly by the way you're talking, I don't see many changes, I still hear someone who is insecure.

Get a real life.
Get ready for social interaction with the opposite sex.
And start forgetting about your wife for the time being.
She'll pop her head up when it's time for her to do so, not on your predetermined time table.

[Kimmie Lee]

I think he is getting a life, robx, he's just verbalizing here what goes through his mind. And that's better than verbalizing it to his w.

A lot of us have a hard time and are white-knuckling it at first.

But, F, robx's advice is sterling. Just steady as she goes.

[robx]

I know, I was there ;-)
- and we need constant reminders to keep us grounded ;-)

[WalkingMan]

Stay the course...lots of great advice!

It's all about layering. She may not see everything you are doing, but it is always one or two small things that she will notice. This will lead to curiousity and she will look more closely. If interest grows, sh will peel off the layers and begin to notice more and more. If she does come back, it's the deeper layers that make the difference...so make sure you stick with the changes you make.

[FormelyknownasF]

I appreciate your sincerity and respect your opinion, robx and Kim.
I've taken it all to heart.

All I'm going to say it's pls judge me for my actions and not for the questions that I ask.

I want to learn from this. Not just to follow a recipe. And learning means I tell you what's the situation is, ask questions, listen to your opinions and make the best decision. And yes, they'll be a lot of stupid questions so please bear with me.

The changes are real. I've been out socializing with the opposite sex, taking care of myself, keeping busy, etc . Small steps maybe but all in the right direction.

It's unfortunate that it doesn't show in my writing but, I do feel and look more confident. People have been complimenting me on that too.

Who told me that she needs to be aware of the changes and that I need to appear mysterious and new to her? Almost every book and piece of advice I've been given.

"You need to start doing things that are out of character for the way you've been acting lately, become more upbeat in your partner's presence. You need to appear pleased with yourself and your own life (...) Start being less predictable (...) You need to make your partner think that you have had an awakening (...) You should pull back and wait to see if your spouse notices".

From DB.

It's a legitimate question to ask: How is she going to notice if don't live together, see each other facebook, etc?

Now, that leads me to this:

She'll pop her head up when it's time for her to do so, not on your predetermined time table.

I'm confused now. That means she's in control. The way I saw it was, I was the one who told her "We'll talk when I'm ready".

Anyway, that doesn't change the fact that she is not behaving in the way you and me were expecting. No calls, no attempts to make contact. Silence.

It's not about ME NEEDING her to do any of that. All I'm saying is that according to the plan and to other threads I've read, this is highly irregular and it's a legitimate concern to have.

[mza8]

Hey Formerly, just wanted to let you know that your W could still see you on Facebook if you allow your page to be viewed by everyone. Just go to settings and you'll see where you can manage who can see your page...friends, friends of friends, everyone, etc. If you select "everyone", she will be able to view it...as would anyone else. I'm sure she would check out your Facebook page out of curiosity.

[FormelyknownasF]

Thanks, dude. I did that long ago.
She's blocking me, though so neither she or me can see each other.
She also deleted all of my friends from her FB.

[mza8]

Oh, I thought even if she blocked you, that she could still see your FB page?

She might set up a second FB account under a different name to view your page?

[FormelyknownasF]

Sounds unlikely but of course, everything she's done so far seemed unlikely.
She appears to be determined to forget about me ASAP so she's blocking everything in her life that reminds her of me and covering it all with "happy thoughts".