I'm having a bad day and I know to expect them. It will get better!
I don't see anything wrong with a time limit. You can only keep it up for so long. She will come around or she won't. As long as you're good with the amount of time you have set for yourself, you have a time frame to fit your goals into.
These are the only choices and I know if she comes around it won't happen overnight. I we continue to search for little signs showing my she cares. If I don't see anything within the next six months I need to move on for me.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
If we LBS keep GAL and 180ing and we are not seeing results we want to see, when is it time to try something different?
When do we stop going down those cheeseless tunnels?
Does it come to a point where we should just lay it on the line like they should have done and give them the speech:
"I am not happy with our current relationship and if things don't change I will not be apart of it."
Don't we deserve better than this too?
Any and all comments welcome.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
Time limits are artificial. You will know when you are done.
This helped me.
Quote:
In a business book by James C. Collins called Good to Great, Collins writes about a conversation he had with Stockdale regarding his coping strategy during his period in the Vietnamese POW camp.[6]
"I never lost faith in the end of the story, I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade."[7]
When Collins asked who didn't make it out of Vietnam, Stockdale replied:
"Oh, that’s easy, the optimists. Oh, they were the ones who said, 'We're going to be out by Christmas.' And Christmas would come, and Christmas would go. Then they'd say, 'We're going to be out by Easter.' And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. And they died of a broken heart."[7]
Stockdale then added:
"This is a very important lesson. You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end—which you can never afford to lose—with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.”[7]
Witnessing this philosophy of duality, Collins went on to describe it as the Stockdale Paradox.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
thanks for the smelling salts. I needed a wake. You post that three weeks ago and I was so motivated for a week or two. I need to reread my journal sometimes to remind me how far I've come.
I hope you see this before this evening:
I have an event tonight and found out that my W friend is going to be there too. She is the one W is going away with on vacation.
I will have a good time even though she is there. I will have my guard up if she approaches me but will remain friendly even though she is totally obnoxious.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
Wennt to the event last night and noticed Ws friend noticed I was there. Once she saw me I noticed she was whispering to the guy she was with. I guess that was her flavor for the week. a Anyway, I saw some old friends(women)and they all said I looked great. Im not sure what to do now.
Do I set boundsries before my W goes away with her friend who id a bad influence?
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
GM, I know it's tearing me up and I have no control over it.
And I would like to think she would at least wait for the papers to be filed before she does anything like that.
She can't even let me know when we are going to meet to discuss the division of assets. She has taken her time on everything thus far so why should this be any different.
I'm getting the kids in a few hours so my mind will take a break from all this thinking.
I will not do her dirty work for her.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
I had a rough past few days and didn't sleep much b/c mind was thinking. Talk to a good friend today and a relative and both told me to stay focused on what I want. Also both told me not to worry about W trip with girlfriend.
I know my W need a vacation, it's been a year and a half since she did something. I hope this trip will me her feel better.
When W dropped the kids off Saturday I need to check out a problem with her car. It took about 10 minutes and I was checking her out. She looked great and I told her that. She said thanks but it was a liitle quiet sad thanks not an OH thanks !.
Anyway I took the kids out for dinner and on the way I told D5 that mommy really looked good and told her that I was thinking about asking her out on a date. Well today my S2 wanted to to W so I called and when my D5 got on the phone she said to W that I wanted to ask her out on a date. W asked for her to put me on the phone and confronted me on the matter. W said that it was fair for me to say something like that. I apologized and told W I was just thinking out load. I said I would talk to D5 and set her straight. I then said for have a good day and she said the same.
I hope I didn't lose ground by this. Time will tell.
She did really look good!
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
