I feel like Im starting to hate my WAS

[markhaving probs]

What Sgfan has said is very apt.

My stbx W has no respect for me whatsoever. She left me after 15 years and has treated me like dirt ever since, the only good thing I suppose is that I still live in the marital home on my own, while she lives with her parents with the children.

I think it was Puppy Dog Tails who has said that love is very closely linked to respect, but I have not seen any sign of this as she does not talk to me at all, not even via text.

The mornings and evenings are the toughest, especially Monday mornings, and especially after I have had the children.

As you do not have children it is much easier to drop the rope. Do not try to contact her in any way, let her contact you if and when she does, be cool and undemanding.

It is tough and I am still in a living hell even after 14 months, but we have no option but to carry on and take each day as it comes.

Try to be strong.

[jasper67]

I agree the mornings are often the hardest, assuming you sleep the whole night through, that momentary state of awakeness- you almost totally forget whats going on, then by the third blink or so- REALITY.

It's tough, but it is a cycle, some days are better than others, then more bad days to come. Keep the focus on yourself, something will happen, one way or the other.

My W moves out soon. I am having her over briefly tonight- she doesn't know why, I don't know why. I think I'll use the opportunity to just get the key back from her- 10% chance I'll pursue or rationalize.

At least I'm honest I guess

[Vulcanized]

My W moves out soon. I am having her over briefly tonight- she doesn't know why, I don't know why. I think I'll use the opportunity to just get the key back from her- 10% chance I'll pursue or rationalize.

At least I'm honest I guess

If you suspect that you may do these things, prepare for it and DONT.

[jasper67]

appreciate it- I did not pursue, but I also learned that I was roped back into attachment

[DumpedforMIL]

i feel your pain.

when d-bomb was dropped, i begged, cried, and pleaded.
h wanted me out of his life and couldn't stand the sight of me.
u would've thought i had OM but no.
no abuse, no OW/OM/OP for h or me.

h's reasons for the d-bomb has changed since the day it was dropped.
u can imagine how frustrated i was, not knowing what the real reason for d was.
i eventually figured it out but it doesn't matter.

i think most important thing to do is detach yourself.
give yourself a time out.
yes, it may get lonely and waking up next to nbody sucks right now but it's all part of the process.
i wake up next to nobody and it doesn't bother me anymore.
doesn't mean i don't love h.
i just don't need the drama that h created with this whole d thing.
like me, you don't need the drama. it will get easier.
trust me.

dumped.

[Marooned]

when d-bomb was dropped, i begged, cried, and pleaded.
h wanted me out of his life and couldn't stand the sight of me.
u would've thought i had OM but no.
no abuse, no OW/OM/OP for h or me.

This sounds a lot like my situation. We're just now in counseling and it has been 14 weeks of very little progress...just following my w's "friendly" divorce scenario (my situation is described under my name).

I noticed your name is "DumpedforMIL." My w left me essentially for her parents. She lives next door to them now and they satisfy all of her emotional needs (except sex and affection, of course, which she doesn't need right now). I feel like battling them is impossible.

How are you doing in your situation. Has your h accepted any type of counseling? Are you separated?

I guess I'm just looking for a connection to a kindred spirit here.

[Mr Peabody]

I hear you. For my part, I know what is going on with her and it saddens and sickens me. I am embarrassed for her. It really makes it hard to see her and talk to her. I am nowhere near as far along as you are. I think the key to the TLD and the LBS stuff here is that we have to work on ourselves. We have to get out of our own funk and get our lives on track. It seems counter to God's plan, but frankly we didn't leave. In my heart, it is about paying attention to us (and I think we can make corrections to ourselves based on what they wanted) and allowing God to work. We didn't get here overnight and we won't get back overnight. Pray for your family, your wife, your marriage, and yourself.

[Barkley]

It's only been going on for 3 months in my household and I am feeling the resentment now. I would love to just shake her and tell her what a mean, insensitive, childish, b*^tch she has become. It's like living with a teenage girl