Don't get me wrong @whatisis, like Voltaire said I'd defend to the death your right to believe, but I don't. I was taught by Jesuits right through college, so it's not like I'm unfamiliar with the domain. For me it's pretty basic -- years of Latin mass to the contrary notwithstanding, I can't accept the premise of the divinity of Jesus nor the Jesuitical leap-of-faith required to get there.
I suspect the most I could cop to is a loosely Taoist or Buddhist sense of the inevitably of suffering and the purely transitory nature of human existence. I don't worry about the hereafter or the thereafter, full stop.
It's not that I reject religion. On the contrary, I think it's a fine thing and I have fine and good and deeply Christian, Jewish, and Muslim friends. I admire the faithful and respect their beliefs. I have a nice set of Olde Tyme Religion on the iPod (very good for working out), and can't think of many places to hear better music than an A.M.E. church on the south side of Big Midwestern City. But I enjoy it as music, not as a musical road to the Spirit -- if this were The Blues Brothers, I'd be Elwood, and not Jake (and you have to love that this YouTube clip was taken from an Israeli T.V. station and so the captions are in Hebrew!).
It's not a question of "intellectual arrogance" or a belief that I know better than, or have no need for, some old book. I have no "feeling" about religion at all -- and that includes a(ny) feeling of need for...answers, rhyme and reason, help, protection, or any of the myriad other things one might seek in organized faith.
They say there are no atheists in foxholes, but I can't recall a single instance in 15 months in Iraq when even the faintest whiff of a desire or need to pray crossed my mind, and I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I've been in a church of any denomination in any capacity other than tourist since 1990: my wedding, three other weddings, and a presentation I did at Coastal City Presbyterian.
But that's neither here nor there. I'm glad it works for you and gives you a space and place to go.
Smiley, I don't know where you live but do you have a Unitarian Church in the area? That may be more to your liking. Google Unitarian Universalist, I used to be a Unitarian before coming to Christianity. Nice people and, depending on the size of the congregation, they may have some interesting activities to attend. Just a thought.
Here's a question for the assembled singletudes - what sort of GAL things are you doing, post-D?
I still pursue the ones I started after recovering from the initial post-Bomb shock, but they're of a somewhat solitary nature - tennis, for example, is 1 on 1 generally. I don't have the financial wherewithal to join a tennis or golf or country club; I sort of live in the 'burbs, so there's no corner tavern to be Regular at; and of course I have Themselves 6 days out of 10. So I'm open to suggestions. My goal is to be more embedded in the community and to have fun. What do you(se) do?
You describe my conundrum to a tee. So far, for me, reconnecting with old friends (have organized a mini H.S. Reunion weekend of my old crowd next month. Ten confirmed from all over the country) Two MeetUp groups (hiking and swing dancing). Same financial constraints, same 'burb constraints as you. Next step will probably be some volunteering. But, hey, it's a start.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
How 'bout looking up a running club in your area? Or are you not running anymore? That would be fun...
I work at my local high school's track and field events. I am a timer for the 4 track meets in the spring (HS boy, HS girl, HS co-ed, and MS), and a course pointer (hey buddy, go that way!) for the one cross country meet in the fall...Timing is fun bc I get to hang with about a dozen other grownups making smart@ss comments for 4 hours.... If there is an activity that interests you, i.e. tennis, you could see if they need any help? Just a thought...
Okay, yeah, now we're gettin' somewherez -- that's what I'm talking 'bout. Good tip on the Meetup.com, thanks for that.
(Church 'n' bible study....mmmmmmmm, not so much, what with me being the Grand Poobah and Head Mo-Fo In Charge of the Fraternal Order of Heathen and all.)
Yeah, they tend to frown on that sort of thing.
During my hellish time, SP, I joined a men's softball team, worked out at the gym and went out to the local irish pub with my buds for beers, which nicely canceled out all the health effects from the first two things.
Please take care of Themselves, as I know you will. This is concerning.
Uh-oh. Looks like someone has broken STBXMRSSP's heart again. Total capitulation on child support - she gave up her line of defense on underpayment, paid the agreed amount and the difference she owed and then sent one of her patented nearly-kinda-sorta-almost-what-you-might-call-open poor, poor, pitiful me e-mails about how I was right way back when, she'll never have love in her life again and even though it's painful to look at photographs of us she's glad she remembers how love was and blahdee-blah-blah. The trick, as always, was to not spit on this...well, not an olive branch but a twig of an olive branch...while maintaining boundaries. As I put it to Miss Someone, I had to strike a balance between accessible - not locked away in angry isolation - and available - not creating the impression that she could just do the fall-back-guy/consolation prize thing at will. So acknowledged, validated, heard - but not reciprocated. Sounds like she's been listening to that EG Kight song again.
Uh-oh. Looks like someone has broken STBXMRSSP's heart again. Total capitulation on child support - she gave up her line of defense on underpayment, paid the agreed amount and the difference she owed and then sent one of her patented nearly-kinda-sorta-almost-what-you-might-call-open poor, poor, pitiful me e-mails about how I was right way back when, she'll never have love in her life again and even though it's painful to look at photographs of us she's glad she remembers how love was and blahdee-blah-blah. The trick, as always, was to not spit on this...well, not an olive branch but a twig of an olive branch...while maintaining boundaries. As I put it to Miss Someone, I had to strike a balance between accessible - not locked away in angry isolation - and available - not creating the impression that she could just do the fall-back-guy/consolation prize thing at will. So acknowledged, validated, heard - but not reciprocated. Sounds like she's been listening to that EG Kight song again.
It sounds like what you are saying you have to "do" and you can't "say" it.
"As I put it to Miss Someone, I had to strike a balance between accessible - not locked away in angry isolation - and available - not creating the impression that she could just do the fall-back-guy/consolation prize thing at will."
This is one of those things you just do, but you can't say. If you say it it will lose its effect.
If there is an activity that interests you, i.e. tennis, you could see if they need any help? Just a thought...
