musclegal, must be a strange feeling. Hang in there, I think you're starting to heal.
W and I had our first court appearance this morning. Walked through security right behind her. Said a quick hi, nothing else. The whole thing was pretty much just a formality, and only took a few minutes. The judge took statements from the two attys, and then appointed a public defender to represent the kids. She then adjourned until the beginning of June.
On the way out, my atty told me that unless they can prove I've been unfit, or abusive, or unavailable to my kids, the court doesn't like to change existing arrangements.
musclegal, I know you're an atty, so don't take offense, but the courtroom antics are hilarious. When my W's atty was making his statement, he dramatically said something like "Their mother would like custody of her infant children, three of them." Infants? They're five, six, and nine years old! LOL! The judge asked if she was amenable to the father getting time with the kids, and he emphatically said "Aaaaaabsolutey, your honor!"
Kids and I are very excited about our upcoming trip. I'm taking them on a beach vacation for their spring break. They're counting the days, much to the chagrin of their mother, I'm sure. Two other families are going too, including the family of the teenage girl I'm hiring to do childcare for me this summer, another probable reason for the legal action. At least W didn't make some ridiculous motion in court today to try to prevent me from taking the kids.
What did your attorney say? I bet you must be feeling like this is a dream, or is it too real for that?
You are doing so well --- many here have a lot to learn from you.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
It is sort of a dream, that could turn into a nightmare very quickly if the court rules against me. My atty doesn't see that happening though. It's insane, my W has left the kids in my care four times to take trips to see OM. She just got back from a two week trip last month, and now she's suing me for full custody. Crazy!
Thanks. I do feel like I'm doing well. I have started to post on other threads, hopefully my ordeal can help others.
I can't imagine her to get full custody along with taking them out of the country. What kind of mother takes her kids away from their father? (unless their is abuse of course)
ugh
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
She just got back from a two week trip last month, and now she's suing me for full custody. Crazy!
No, not crazy... sounds like she has a purpose. With full custody she can take them with her and live overseas.
Not only that, full custody means there is more money in child support versus alimony.
Me: WAW/MLC 41 H: 42 M: 16 yr T: 20 Me: EA/PA started Sept 2008 D: Anytime, just need to sign papers http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1968939&page=1
No, not crazy... sounds like she has a purpose. With full custody she can take them with her and live overseas.
It's crazy that she thinks she has a case. I think that even if she gets full custody, she can't get them passports without my signature, as their father. She'd have to have my parental rights terminated to do that without my consent.
Full custody would give her more legal leverage to use against me though, and she DEFINITELY would get much more support. She could also move away anywhere within the USA, and I'd have no say. I'd be relegated to writing a big check to her every month and seeing the kids a few times a year. THAT's my nightmare scenario.
Vacation has started. Halfway to our beach destination. Kids are watching Shrek 2 on TV, hotel has Internet, so I might as well give an update.
Picked up kids this morning at W's house. W was trying to reach out a little, particularly surprising given the last time I saw her was in court. She actually spoke the name of the woman who is the teenage daughter's mother to me. She had her hurt puppy dog demeanor going. Note that I haven't ever said one word to her about who's going on the trip with us. I assume the kids have been talking about it, as they're very excited.
She said "I wanted to discuss the kids and swimming with you. I know there are some going to be some teenagers down there with you, but could you make sure either you or <other (male) friend we both know who's going> are watching them? I don't know <teenage daughter's mother>, so I don't know if she's ok to watch them." I said "I'll be with them nearly all the time." We took care of some kids things, then a minute later she said "I know I sound controlling, please realize one of my clients lost their four year old child to a swimming pool accident." I softened just a tiny bit and said "Ok."
Then I noticed it. I didn't let her see I noticed it, but I did. She was wearing her engagement ring, on her right ring finger. First time I've seen it in about three years. Wow. She actually got up this morning, picked up that ring and put it on her finger. Wow. I can't even imagine putting my ring on my finger. It's crazy!
She gave the kids each some money for the trip (I didn't ask her to help out), and she asked if I had swimming goggles for the kids. I said I'd probably buy some down there, and she said "If you want to save some money, you can borrow the goggles I have for the kids, as long as I get them back." I said "Sure."
She helped get the kids ready and buckled into the car, then told the kids to have a good time. She looked worried and sad. I couldn't help it, I softened a bit more and said "Don't worry W, they'll be ok." She said "Bye kids, bye H" and walked away.
Someone is finally getting what con-se-quen-ces look like. Eventually, when you treat people like cr*p, they tend to withdraw and find a life for themselves, and the kids go with half of that life. Did she really think you would somehow disappear, leaving the kids full-time with her, getting your money, while she gets it on with some other man?
It is weird that she is wearing her engagement ring, but I wouldn't read too much into it, if I were you.
Happy holidays!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
