WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 11

[MrBond]

CIPA,

Just checking in to see how you're doing buddy.

How's the job and kids?

[confusedinpa]

Hey there bro! Thanks for checking in on me. I've been prowling your thread and see your continuing your mission. Very impressive.

Ironically it is 1 year ago yesterday since she moved out. It is amazing how hopes/dreams/expectations changed so much in that time. In the end I know I am a better man after this journey and my boys are better off because of that.

Since I started work, my life has stabilized somewhat. We're in a routine now where I do not have to see her anymore. The last time I saw her was on my oldest's son's 8th B'day. We were all suppose to go to an Easter hunt together (one that we have been going since my boys were born). It was her weekend so she had told our friends she was taking them (my friend had shown me her email reply saying yes). The Thurs before, I mentioned it to the boys. They were very excited. She then texted later that nite that she never told them she was taking them. I just said I would be willing to take them if she wasn't since they have gone since they have been born. Next morning she text me to just take them. That was the last time I had seen her (when I picked them up from her).

Since then, I had my lawyer draw up the papers to formalize that, even with my new job, she will not be recieving any support and will have to continue to pay child support (about 1/2 of what's she's paying now). So she knows that she will not be getting back on the gravy train even now that I've started work.

We got our taxes done (we still filed as married jointly as it reduced our total tax bill, ok since we haven't finalized the divorce) and when I told her how much she owed, she complained about needing get a loan. I just told her that if she can't come up with her share, I would just file as married seperately and just pay my share. She can deal with figuring out the filings then. She dropped on the check on 4/15.

I've continued to get a life. That in itself is an up and down ride as well. I had been seeing a new female friend for about 6 weeks (just every other week when I don't have my boys). It's progressing slow but we shall see. I had met someone else in the midst of that turned pretty intense but it was very quick lived (started and ended in 2 weeks). Oh well.

Work is busy but good. I am enjoying it as it's what I like to do, even though the money is not as good. But that's not what it's all about.

So life continues and I'm trying to get a life.

Thanks for checking in....

[MrBond]

Great to hear you're moving in a positive direction. I'm sorry to hear that you can't stand to be around your W with the kids, but her choice.

Looks like you're doing great with the ladies too. : )

I don't remember if I mentioned this, but after my W's boss showed up and tried to get me fired, I said a little prayer and asked the Big Guy if I was supposed to stay fighting for my M or if I was supposed to go out with the girl I had been seeing. I asked him for a sign. Well that night, the girl I had been seeing "unfriended" me from FAcebook! Now if that wasn't a sign I don't know what would be.

Keep making those boys proud of you.

[confusedinpa]

Well its been a couple of weeks since my last update.... life continues to move forward.

Did see the soon to be ex at a parent teacher conference for my 8 year old. He had gotten accepted into a gifted program at his school so we met with the program head to talk about it.

Ironically the lady friend I have been seeing the longest - going on 2 months now, just 1 day every other week - had just given a presentation on Gifted underachievers (Big Fish/Little Pond). I asked the program head if she had heard about it... just curious how they dealt with it as there is a lot of research on the topic but no clear answers. Anyway, the program head knew exactly what I was talking about and discussed it very coherently. Very reassuring... even though there is no clear answer on how to handle it.

My soon to ex the instantly dismissed my concern as nonsense as that hadn't happened to her and then went on about how great she did in the gifted program. Blah blah. She then took a shot at me about how she did so much better than I did in college.

I just ignored it and continued to have an intelligent conversation with the program head. I've learned a long time ago not to argue with an idiot as it just makes them feel like they have a point LOL

At the end of it, it was just a little after lunch time and she started complaining how she was hungry. I just said so was I and got in my truck and left. In the past, I would have taken her out to lunch.... I think she was expecting that.

Anyway, wound up meeting a lady friend (from work) for a play date (her youngest are right in between my 2). That nite, my boys mentioned to their mom how we met one of my friends to play with her two boys. I could tell she had a WTF moment as she asked them to repeat it... afterwhich she hurriedly hung up.

So I'm continuing to get a life.... my boys are good.... I'm having a bday party for the two of them in a couple of weeks. I'm not inviting her as my family will not come if she is there - and they don't even know how she cheated and then kicked my ass for almost 9 months!

FIDO!

[Gardener]

cipa,
I've lost touch with you since I've been spending so much time over at Surviving.
Your last post was just about all I needed to catch up.
You sound good.
I'm glad for you.

p.s. FIDO?

[MrBond]

CIPA,

Just checking up on ya and the boys.