M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Oh, I forgot to mention, I have/had a great relationship with the inlaws.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
That's a good thing, I'd try hard to maintain that relationship. If you make a point of not sitting next to them, it might make them feel awkward. Of course, sitting next to them might make them feel awkward, too. lol Any chance of being around them and just acting as if there's no problem? Because really, the problem isn't with them. FWIW, they are probably just as unsure as you are.
(as if, see? I'm learning!)
One of my friends says the best part of her D was that she got to keep her MIL. She adores her MIL. I'm trying to treat them as though nothing were wrong between H & I. Of course they know better--but still. They are probably just as nervous as the kids are, they adore the boys & I have no intentions of making them "pay".
formerly known as "shelbel" Me 40, stbxh 40 DSs 9, 7 & 3 M9, T10 Stbxh is a diagnosed bipolar & an addict. The end.
I had an awesome time with the kids the past few days. Went to the movies on Sunday and play the rest of the day. Monday kids were in a great mood and we played "monster, mermaid" Monday night. (It's a game I made up while on vacation two years ago where I'm a monster and D5 is a mermaid, S2 likes to be a lion. They essentially attack me with pillows and jump on me and I throw them on the sofas and tickle them). They love it.
Tuesday went to the toy store for kids and treated them to new toys. The were so good they deserved it. The best thing about it was on the ride home they both said thanks for the new toys. I am so proud of them. Wednesday morning I dropped the kids off at W apartment. hugged and kissed the kids goodbye, told them to have fun and I;ll see them Saturday. Said good morning and how are you doing to W, she said fine and asked me the same and I said I feel great! Then said goodbye.
W looked like crap again and moapy so I don't know if she was thinking abut the dinner decline. That's on her, I feel great today.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
I had an awesome time with the kids the past few days. Went to the movies on Sunday and play the rest of the day. Monday kids were in a great mood and we played "monster, mermaid" Monday night. (It's a game I made up while on vacation two years ago where I'm a monster and D5 is a mermaid, S2 likes to be a lion. They essentially attack me with pillows and jump on me and I throw them on the sofas and tickle them). They love it.
Tuesday went to the toy store for kids and treated them to new toys. The were so good they deserved it. The best thing about it was on the ride home they both said thanks for the new toys. I am so proud of them. Wednesday morning I dropped the kids off at W apartment. hugged and kissed the kids goodbye, told them to have fun and I;ll see them Saturday. Said good morning and how are you doing to W, she said fine and asked me the same and I said I feel great! Then said goodbye.
W looked like crap again and moapy so I don't know if she was thinking abut the dinner decline. That's on her, I feel great today.
I love this post!! The whole thing, every bit of it. I want to be right *there* & mean it. Good job, gr8.
So sad that W is looking & feeling poorly. I wonder what she'll do when you do start dating again? Hmmmm...
(Forgive me if I sound mean today...lol. I'm really hoping that this turns out the right way for everyone. But I think it's wonderful that you're doing so well.)
((hugs))
formerly known as "shelbel" Me 40, stbxh 40 DSs 9, 7 & 3 M9, T10 Stbxh is a diagnosed bipolar & an addict. The end.
I have been having a great week! I feel I am really learning how to detach from W and Sitch.
I also think I did rattle her cage a bit with the dinner decline. Who knows but I feel I'm doing what's best for me.
Spoke to a friend I haven't spoken to in awhile and his wife now want to fix me up with one of her friends.
Wow, I feel good that friends are willing to match me up with someone.
I'm not going down that road.....yet.
I have atrip plan for NY in June and D5 graduation the following week.
After those events if W if still in fog I will be the one contacting her about the post marital agreement.
I have learned alot about myself the past few months and understand how good healthy R work.
This has been soooo Serendipitous.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
I am now planing on telling my W it is over. I want her off the mortgage or she needs to start paying her half.
I have given her every chance to make changes on herself the past 8 months and nothing absolutely nothing.
I have decided I deserve more in a relationship and she is not the one for me.
Time to rattle her cage some more, but tis time I don't care what she thinks. She cannot say or do anything to make me feel for her anymore. I feel I am the WAS.
There are sooo many women out there. I will take what I learned from this experience and have a wonderful relationship with someone who deserves me.
Any updates will be just about her reactions to the actions I take.
NO MORE MR. NICE GUY!
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
I'll confess it's been a while since I've read your situation, but I've got some input for you.
First, I'm sad to read that you plan to tell your W it's over. Two weeks ago, you were posting about being patient.
Next, it's probably too late now, but I would have accepted the dinner invite. It may be an opportunity to get a read on your W for a longer period of time than your normal 5 minutes. In my situation, I used any invited opportunity to listen to what my W had to say.
You are still way too bothered by your W friend. Quick story from my situation....I was concerned about one of my W's divorced friends, too. She told my W what I'll bet 90% of their friends tell them..."girl, you do what you gotta do!".
So now a few months later, my W is telling her friend that we are working on our M. Guess what my W's friend says to my W? She says "that's so cool, my XH was such an a$$ about trying".
Don't worry about her friends. She needs the emotional connection from them.
While I agree with protecting yourself financially, make sure this doesn't translate into being mean spirited about it....no matter how she's acting.
I have confirmed her friend is a cancer to her. While on their I found out she did in fact hook up with OM. Is this what happens when you give someone time and space?
MY W still after 8 months has not shown me anything. She doesn't intiate any hello's or ask how I'm doing or anything about the kids.
I just can't take it any longer.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
