Who knows. He loves to tell me how happy he is each time we talk. He also reminds me (for 26 months now! LOL!) each time we talk "he can't be married anymore".
I am sure things are going fine with them and he just needs something and instead of just TELLING me what it is he wants/needs he is playing these games (again).
Wow CityGirl, that is messed up. What could he possibly need? You've been physically separated for over two years. Is he going to do this crap for the rest of your life? He sounds like he's got some deep seated guilt he can't shake. No matter what he does, he just can't shake it, and he keeps looking to you to give him some sort of "Get out of purgatory free" card. You're doing awesome, just let him flail in the wind.
I think when most people have to tell you how happy they are, they're faking it. That and his "I can't be married anymore" BS. Sounds like he's trying to convince himself that he his happy and he can't be married anymore.
It will be interesting to see if he continues to contact you.
M 38 WAW 36 Together 19 years Married 12 years Bomb/Separated Oct. 09 I love my wife Sitch
Last Thanksgiving he got *very* mad at me because he texted me "happy t-day" and I did not respond and as per him it hurt his feelings. Oh, so sorry HIS feelings have been hurt! Shortly after that we spoke on the phone and he said "I wish you would feel comfortable contacting me" (this is right after he said that his GF has forbidden him to speak/see me ever again).
IOW - he wants me to keep pursuing him so he can turn me down (note: since he dictated to me we were getting divorced I have never pursued him once!) and have his GF.
Right around this time he also told me he questions why he is in this R with his GF still, they fight and have broken up four times but he is learning from our R that he has to NOT run away. Have mercy.
He told me part of them moving in together was convenience to split a high rental payment. Whatever!
He also told me "it's been two years and you should be over it"... er, who says I am NOT?!
I have not seen my "husband" since Nov. of 2009 (in court, lol!). The last time we spoke on the phone was a few months ago. Every so often we e-mail about admin. stuff but the last e-mail exchange we had was a few months ago.
The last time I texted with him was in mid April when he sent me ELEVEN text messages to tell me he was moving in with his GF (his two year affair partner) and blah blah blah.
He came by to get the last of his furniture on April 20th of this year. I did not see him but left it in the hall for him.
IOW we have very little contact and I like it that way. We are legally separated since Nov of 2009 but he moved out in April of 2008.
In Jan. of this year he kept e-mailing me wanting to talk as "two people" as long as his GF did not find out. No. I told him I was done.
Two days ago he texted me that he has been e-mailing me since May 3rd (I saw the e-mails but they were all "how are you doing" type messages and not worthy of any type of response) and if I did not want to "talk" to him over e-mail then he might just start exploring other avenues to force us to talk. LOL! I told him "do what you need to do!".
Last night about two hours before he left work he texts me asking me if he could bring me dinner after work. WHAT?! I mean, what the hell? GF out of town or what? Then he wanted to know if the dog was too hot (very warm temps here). I ignored him for about an hour so he texts again that he will bring dinner but leave it by the door so I don't have to see him. WHAT?!
I text him back a short but polite 'no thanks' and within seconds he texts again " I figured you would say no but just thought I would ask"
Ridiculous!
lol me thinks WAH is having buyers remorse. The grass must not be green anymore. It's turning brownish yellow.
He is starting to have some regrets. But he still wants to keep O.W. because he wants to be "sure" to at least have one of you.
But You already told him you won't share him with her. Way to go C.G.
p.s.
how are those lungs? we can't have you wasting precious oxygen cursing at him.
*hugs C.G.*
waw 36 (spiritual covenant and common law marriage)me 32 together 13 mos. Bomb dropped march 2nd 2010
children SD (8) S (10) S (3) need help from anyone with my sitch
As I mentioned my H contacted me out of the blue last week asking if he could come over for dinner. Odd. Very odd.
This weekend I received my spousal maintenance check and must admit I got the "gut punch feeling" when I looked at the return address and it was his home address (for 2 yrs he has been using a PO Box) and it was the address he shares with OW. Fine.
I also noticed the postmark was from out of town and it came from the town that he and OW used to sneak off to the first summer of their affair. I am not sure how tacky one person can be to mail his W her spousal maintenance check while on vacation with your mistress in from the town you got caught in having an affair but whatever.
Tonight my H started texting me. He is someplace (at an event) that he thought I would probably be at. I didn't end up going. I am sure the reason he thought I was there was it was something he and I did every year for a decade.
The first text said the word "something". That is the word he and I used to use for "I love you" when he was at work and couldn't say it. At least 10 texts followed this, all chatting like we were best buds (note, he and I have virtually NO CONTACT). I ignored it for a few hours then finally texted him back and told him I was not there and stop texting me. I find it odd he is there with his live in mistress/GF and is texting me all this BS. After I told him to stop he texted me a few more times (by now the event was over) and I timed it out in my head and about the time him and GF would be going home is when he finally stopped.
99.9% of the time I ignore him. I just can't deal with him. I don't trust him farther than I could throw him and every few months he does this to see if "I am still mad and are we buddies yet". It makes me sick.
I am thinking of putting together a short e-mail to him (not now but soon) and letting him no in no uncertain terms his random invites and texts are not appreciated and I would like them to stop. He chose and while I accept that, there is no more "me" available to him.
What do you all think?
I admit I did cry because it does still hurt. I am pretty detached and I know I won't understand why he does this but it's just not good for me.
I guess maybe you are right. H and OW just moved into a house together about a month ago and NOW all this is starting up again?
It's very upsetting to me. Right or wrong I lead a much happier life when he doesn't contact me. I made it clear to him MONTHS ago that I would no longer be there for him under ANY circumstance and I really don't think he gets that.
But if I try and tell him that he will turn it around on me and say how mean I am because he is just being "nice" and nothing he does is ever right for me or good enough.
