WAW and the law of attraction

[tristan]

I guess I'm just being careful of not making a stupid mistake just to "even things". Although lots of people have suggested that I do that. It'd only make feel bad, I think.

I would not be one to suggest that. Know who you are and trust your own value system. You are the one that must live with yourself. Just because you get advice, doesn't mean you must heed it. Think of the person you would like to be and do what he would do.

You are doing well Formerly. Enjoy your holiday. I am not sure where you are, but take advantage. You never know when you will get the opportunity again.

-T

[FormelyknownasF]

I'm stranded in Europe because of the vulcano eruption.
There's a chance I have to go back home by train and
that means spending time several cities, I've never been
or had ever planned to visit. I'm having a great time in the
middle of what could be seen as a nightmare.

[lees]

Lucky lucky Form!

Which cities are you gonna get a snapshot of?

I have work colleagues stranded, and as a small aside am hoping that the air transport network will be so messed up for the next 2 weeks trying to recover that my STBXW and her OM can't go on the holiday they booked. Small turn of karma if that happens!

[FormelyknownasF]

Potentially Stockholm, Denmark, Berlin or Cologna, Brussels, Paris and maybe Amsterdam. It's going to be crazy but this is what I need right now
and I'm loving every minute of it.

I really hope that this air traffic chaos serves your plans, mate.

[lees]

Well boo hiss on the skies returning to normal in terms of a bit more infidelitus interruptus.

Did you have a wonderful time Formerly?

I really enjoyed Stockholm and Brussels last time I was in Europe, particularly the old quarter of Stockholm.

[FormelyknownasF]

I had a good time overall. Didn't go to brussels in the end but Paris.
Tough one. Paris is where we spent our first anniversary and this time
somehow I managed to walk into some of the backstreets and ended up
right in the restaurant when we celebrated it and the creperie where we
had dessert. Tough.

In the end, I think I managed to accept the fact that those were amazing
moments that no affair or even divorce will ever take from me. I love them.
I love that I get to live them. But it's time to move on. That person who I shared them with no longer exists. No point in feeling nostalgic about them.

I survived Paris and I'm proud.

[lees]

Good work Formerly.

I had similar experiences driving past the castle where we got married, and the beach we spent our last fantastic holiday together with the dog before he died.

I'm dreading our first anniversary in a couple of months time. We never even made it that far, and it's just going to be replaced with "Legal Separation Day" instead.

You've handled it all really well. I like your thinking and will try and use similar ideas myself. You deserve to be proud and holding your head up high.

[FormelyknownasF]

I love this scene in the movie Adaptation, almost in the end:

------
Charlie Kaufman: There was this time in high school. I was watching you out the library window. You were talking to Sarah Marsh.
Donald Kaufman: Oh, God. I was so in love with her.
Charlie Kaufman: I know. And you were flirting with her. And she was being really sweet to you.
Donald Kaufman: I remember that.
Charlie Kaufman: Then, when you walked away, she started making fun of you with Kim Canetti. And it was like they were laughing at *me*. You didn't know at all. You seemed so happy.
Donald Kaufman: I knew. I heard them.
Charlie Kaufman: How come you looked so happy?
Donald Kaufman: I loved Sarah, Charles. It was mine, that love. I owned it. Even Sarah didn't have the right to take it away. I can love whoever I want.
Charlie Kaufman: But she thought you were pathetic.
Donald Kaufman: That was her business, not mine. You are what you love, not what loves you. That's what I decided a long time ago.

-----

I'm deciding that now.

[lees]

That is fabulous.

I'm struggling today - a bit of cabin fever after a day alone at home.

I still haven't made it as far as you in terms of being able to look back on our wedding and happy times together without feeling anger, hurt and waste has occurred.

I hope to get there one day soon.

[FormelyknownasF]

You will. Have faith. It's a process, go through it. Embrace it.

Now, go outside, don't stay home. Force yourself to do so.
The weather should be good this time of the year.
Make any excuse, anything will do, grocery shopping, gym or just go for a walk. Listen to upbeat music, something yours, nothing that makes you think of your W. For example: My W used to hate electric guitars so now I play lots of metal on my ipod. Reminds me of my teenage years when I was so full of possibilities. Makes me feel that way again. I'm loving that.

You'll struggle no doubt about it but there's no other way to do it. Be strong.
You know you can handle this.

Now, me, I'm not there 100% yet but I'm doing my best and I'm confident I will get there soon.