WCW, You have done a great job in keeping all of the balls in the air and also dealing w/your h's crisis. They do tend to "inch" their way back and when it's home for good, it will take additional time for him to finally feel like he's back in his own skin and safe once again. Your patience has been great!
With all of this going on, how are you doing these days? Please continue to post....you are making progress even if it he continues to "inch along".
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Wow, he's like the movement of the continents! But, though, slooooow, he does seem to move in the right direction. I doubt I would be this patient. You obviously love your H and sometimes I don't think he deserves it, and I wish he realized it, or maybe he does and that makes him afraid. Eh, I dunno.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Thanks NNP and amd. When are you both updating?????
Snodderly, thanks for the pat on the back. Balls in the air for sure! I am doing quite well, thanks for asking. I still stay busy with my own things, and it's nice when H comes to look me up. He's home so much more now that it's an adjustment all over again. I think I have to be careful not to be too evasive at this point and make him feel like he has to chase me.
BeingMe, you may have touched on something - I obviously love my H. Sounds odd? maybe too much, and maybe he doesn't deserve it, and maybe he realized that and add that all up and how in the world does he ever come back? I think that has been a roadblock but at the same time it has been a magnet too. Many people feel like a doormat while waiting or hoping that their spouse will return, I considered myself the rock.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
I am so proud of you! Certainly, stamina, however, I see so much more within you. You're strength surpasses anything I've known.
The one thing that hit me while reading your posts.... and I think we are on the same note here too, when I say this: It's good for you to be steady, however, do not make it easy for your H. By this, I mean don't help him "fix" things, allow him to work his own way back to you. Yes, I know, he's taking his own sweet time, and yes, I'd be impatient too, heck, I wouldn't be able to do this at all.... nature of the beast I guess, anyway, my gut tells me, if you help him with his work, you'll weaken him.
No, I don't understand it completely, but all I'm saying, it's like a chick you watch break from it's shell... if you intervene, you stand a good chance of loosing the chick, it won't be strong enough to survive on it's own. You need this man to be able to stand on his own two feet.... just as you are doing now.
You want him to be on equal ground, and be able to stand on it too. He wasn't there to help you gain your own ground, and you own that ground.... allow him the time and space (as you already have) to own his ground too.
I hope this makes some sense.... it's been a long day for me already, and the week's excitement hasn't even started yet.
Take care, and keep up the good work!
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
WCW - yes, absolutely love the comment about the rock. My H's OW has said "why don't you get counseling for your low self esteem, why would you stay with someone that cheats on you." I feel like it's HER with the low self esteem... she's with a married man, and I'm a rock of strength and fortitude.
You nailed it. People who have not been here cannot understand.
BT - love the chick analogy, I may use that with my friends and family next time they say "why?"
((((((WCW)))))) Long time, no see! I don't always drop in on the MLC board, I almost missed you!
I like what I am reading! You are spot on, I think. His pride is going to keep things moving slowly... if he moves slowly enough, people might not notice he was ever "gone"!
I hope things keep getting better for you. You deserve it!
I am so proud of you! Certainly, stamina, however, I see so much more within you. You're strength surpasses anything I've known.
The one thing that hit me while reading your posts.... and I think we are on the same note here too, when I say this: It's good for you to be steady, however, do not make it easy for your H. By this, I mean don't help him "fix" things, allow him to work his own way back to you. Yes, I know, he's taking his own sweet time, and yes, I'd be impatient too, heck, I wouldn't be able to do this at all.... nature of the beast I guess, anyway, my gut tells me, if you help him with his work, you'll weaken him.
No, I don't understand it completely, but all I'm saying, it's like a chick you watch break from it's shell... if you intervene, you stand a good chance of loosing the chick, it won't be strong enough to survive on it's own. You need this man to be able to stand on his own two feet.... just as you are doing now.
You want him to be on equal ground, and be able to stand on it too. He wasn't there to help you gain your own ground, and you own that ground.... allow him the time and space (as you already have) to own his ground too.
I hope this makes some sense.... it's been a long day for me already, and the week's excitement hasn't even started yet.
Take care, and keep up the good work!
That needs to be repeated. It is so spot on. Thank you.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
M&H, I remember you! I read your posts and your H's. I haven't found too much time to spend here lately but I will try to catch up and see what's up with you.
VH, glad you found me again! This cowboys pride is for sure very big, and in the past I've managed to strip that from him at times. Don't want to do that anymore!
I'm getting better at listening, it just takes me a while to remember what I heard. It's late and H isn't home yet, but this morning he said he wouldn't be home tonight. I didn't pressure or ask why. Tonight it finally clicked that H had a conversation a few days ago about where he would be tonight. I wonder how many other times I wondered about and already forgot that I knew
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Came home from work the other day to find H in bed. (alone, don't panic!) He's been running hard to work and make money and keep all of HIS balls in the air, I think the hours and being tired all the time and the stress wore him out. He was in bed all day, took some stuff for his headache when I offered him something, and he slept all evening. I went about my business outside, came in at dark and H got up to eat some soup, sat around, and we went to bed. H complained how cold he was, and maybe that was a chance I missed to snuggle with him to help him warm up. Idunno, I am just so used to being selfish now that I just went to sleep.
I am going for a trailride with friends tomorrow and I want to take my young horse for her first time out with a group. H is not coming along, and he is strongly suggesting adamently I do NOT take Young Horse but I take Favorite Mare. I said ok but then you will have to go on some rides with me to get Young Horse ready. H said okay. So um, who really wins?
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
