MINDFULL - It won't be long now... Parallel Paths

[rockedworld]

Hey (((Mind))) hope you feel better today! No fun traveling when you are feeling like crap!

Thinking of you lots and knowing you are going to continue to handle yourself with strength and dignity as you have been doing.

Have a great day friend!

[DaddyLongShanks]

DLS. Thanks for stopping in. And expressing interest in our topic. Favor, please? Before you chime in, please tke the time to understand the situation.

I thought I had viewed the fundamentals of this situation. It sounds alot like mine and others except the sexes are reversed. From what you describe it sounds like he is very deep in a PA and self-embellishment, and does not see you in a role other than a "mother of his children".

It sucks and I'm sorry for my remark without understanding.

[Fergie]

MF:

I'm not sure how to take that post. It doesn't really sound like you, so I'll chalk it up to travel/sleep deprivation/sickness stress.

I guess the one thing I would comment on are the "zingers" your H would make. After reading some of your thread, it seems your H would either make derogatory remarks about how you looked (after you spent some time to look nice) or just wouldn't say anything at all. He wouldn't compliment you, even when pressed by your friends.

That's just pure jackass. I can understand why he would be a whiny baby about you at a gathering. He goes and acts like a tool by saying something insensitive about how you look, right before a party, and you shake it off and enjoy yourself anyway. It sounds like he has some major self-esteem issues, if he has to tear you down to make himself feel good (or perhaps try and keep you in line).

I would give as much thought to why it bothered him (about you making friends), as I would to where belly button lint comes from.

--Ferg
/I'm with Jeff and the whole "nose punching" thing
//Not that I condone violence
//But I'll let Jeff do it.

[pearlharbr]

MF, hope the business trip is going well even with the lack of sleep. Be safe on the drive back--only talk on your phone if you're using a headset!

I think your H enjoys being the center of attention and doesn't like it that you are the life of the party. I also agree with Fergie that he uses the snarky comments to throw you off your game just before an event.

But it's moot since you're done with that tool and on to better men! And all this self-awareness and knowledge will serve you well and help you find a partner who will appreciate you as you are.

Wish you were around to approve the photo session outfits!

[avermont]

Interesting, MF.

I tend to be outgoing and goofy, striking up conversations, talking with random people--having fun. And X was always so uptight about that. He is very conservative and quiet by nature--has taught himself to be a good people-person and thus do well in things like the Planning Commish.

And--voila--the OW--as you have heard me describe her--and it is backed up by others--is REALLY loud, out there, to the point of making others uncomfortable (at least the version my friends will tell me)

So 'splain that if you can.

Not that it matters.

As soon as I get my old self back, I will go right on striking up random conversations with people as we meet in the bar, supermarket, trails, subway. A three minute, human being to human being interaction.

Just gotta dig that goofy self out of the ashes.

You go, MF! Keep building that entourage! How great to know that you CHOOSE and CREATE a circle of positive, supportive friends, acquaintances, and groupies.

That's worth its weight in gold. Or shoes.

[Kalni]

It sound about right. Your personality was probably what attracted him to you in the first place. And the fact that he was the type that "goes along" suited you as well. I mean, lets face it, people get together because they do match at a cretain level. The one feeds the other, his insecurities, moods, it's the ying and the yang (dont know how to spell it)thing.

Sad thing is as time goes by, we loose our edge and resentment builds up. What we liked, becomes annoying, for both spouses. I wouldnt be surprised if OW was a lot like you OR the complete opposite exactly because you are the way you are...

In my case, after reading OW's numerous emails, I have to say, she writes like I do. I read in her letters how I treated him when we were in love. Is that a coincidence? I dont think so.

My H as well, considers very few people his friends while I have tons of friends that thankfully were by my side all this time. Funny thing was, he thought my friends would still stay his friends. But since he didnt make an effort to nurture his R with them (I was the one doing that for years), they all gave up on him. One of the things he enjoys now is, being a part of our "group" again...

Stay strong
K

[Fergie]

MF: Hi!

[Fergie]

Why would someone feel left out if their partner was more interested in other people than him? It's about how they view the situation. I am by no means excusing Mr MF (pun intended) but you have to be able to see things from new perspectives. If his LL was QT then he sure would feel slighted. It also doesn't mean Mindfull changes who she is to accomodate a spouse just be aware of what the wants of your sig other are.

Yeah. I see where you are going with this. But if MF's LL was adoration, easy solution for both. While she is chatting it up with the party peeps, walk up, put hands/arms around, and brag up her new sales numbers, how she is dressed, or just how wonderful she is..... and mean it. Problem solved.

You get what you give.

--Fergie

[Virtually_Handsome]

/I'm with Jeff and the whole "nose punching" thing
//Not that I condone violence
//But I'll let Jeff do it.

/I've never punched anyone in the nose
//But there's a first time for everything
///He deserves it.

[mindfull]

Morning, Everyone. Well, gosh, didn't expect to get this kind of response, BUT... LOL

Something I wrote, applies to ALL of you here (well, MOST, LOL)... so I'm sure you "get it"

So, the fact that professionally and personally I am surrounded by people that are just plain good, BY CHOICE, is probably intimidating to H.

NOW:

Well after reading that, all I can say is, too bad for Mr. Mind if he wants you to be the backup dancer because you are not the wind beneath his wings...

BBJ - I had a soda spitting moment over this one. LOL Backup dancer? NOT (NU DANCE TEAM DUH! LOL) That's not who he married. Thank you for truly supporting me, ALWAYS.

Solution: If something is bothering you then it is your responsibility to bring it up.

Coach - AMEN, the man talks non-stop...

[/quote]I am right behind you (well amongst your entourage)
Luv Luvs you![/quote]

T, you are right beside me, arm in arm. LUV YA!

CG - HUGS, my wise friend! CONGRATS for leading w/silence... I'm learnin'!

Thinking of you lots and knowing you are going to continue to handle yourself with strength and dignity as you have been doing.

Rocked!! My sistah! You truly get me. And, thank you for this. Strength and dignity...? I guess you're right. In a few weeks, the dignity part will be tested. Keep thinkin' strong thoughts.

It sucks and I'm sorry for my remark without understanding.

DLS - Thank you, and a LOL. I tend to shoot first, and ask questions later. It's a wonder I KEEP all of those friendships, eh?

That's just pure jackass.

Ferg - I wish I would have had this quote in my arsenal many years ago... It would be an appropriate response to ANY of the SNARKY comments he would make... I think I'll adopt it from this moment on... (Hope I don't say it so many times, it becomes ineffective!)

But it's moot since you're done with that tool and on to better men! And all this self-awareness and knowledge will serve you well and help you find a partner who will appreciate you as you are.

Pearl - Done w/that tool! LOL On to better men... Sounds yummy. (YOU HAD BETTER BE FEELING BETTER!!)

As soon as I get my old self back, I will go right on striking up random conversations with people as we meet in the bar, supermarket, trails, subway. A three minute, human being to human being interaction.

Aver - So much of you have written re: history is so ME! My boss OFTEN says... "Ok, MF, WTF? How do you KNOW this stuff about (so and so prospect)?" Beyond the sales speak, three minute, human being to human being interaction is the answer... YUP SHOES? Where?

K - YOU GOT IT! Since H doesn't nurture his friendships, and we're probably a bit obvious (M dissension), he is already being ignored, excluded, etc... a bit from social functions/activity. Can't do anything about that! Can you imagine if they knew what was in the near future's expose?

[ While she is chatting it up with the party peeps, walk up, put hands/arms around, and brag up her new sales numbers, how she is dressed, or just how wonderful she is..... and mean it. Problem solved.
You get what you give.
--Fergie

Ferg - Maybe I have had too long of a drought, but I read this and had thoughts of ERASEERASE. LOL But, you're right. And, in my own defense, I HAVE verbalized this (and, of course, not in a bitchy way). No positive response. But, you're invited to a party w/me any day.

/I've never punched anyone in the nose
//But there's a first time for everything
///He deserves it.

Jeff, you're the best. I'd pay really good money to view this. So, I'll tape it, and we'll post it on my fb page. Can you imagine the number of views? HUG