She keep shouting "What did you do to that poor girl?" "Confess! what stupid thing did you do that she doesn't even want to talk?" "Why the secrecy?" , etc
your mama knows something we dont. please tell us. so we can better understand your wife.
My mom is reaching that conclusion because she's not buying the "we are going through a rough patch".
In her mind if we are separated, it had to be something much bigger than just a rough patch. And she's right but I'm not telling her anything about my W's infidelity.
But the point here - and that's something my therapist helped me clarify - my mother thinks that my marriage's failure is her failure as a mother. Plus, as her father betrayed her own family, it's obvious that her instinct is to see the W as the victim and the husband as the perpetrator (even if he is her own son). The only way she can feel better is by controlling the situation and "fixing it". Without full disclosure, she feels powerless and is pushing hard for me to reveal details.
I won't, I don't need to validate myself with my mom. There's a lesson for her in this too: trust and respect.
Anyway, I don't intend for this to become about me and my mother. Those are issues that have been there for awhile and I'm addressing them in therapy.
Just be absolutely sure, Mr McQueen, I've been entirely honest in this forum. I have no reason to lie to you guys. Ever since I started posting in here I've been using this writing exercise as a catharsis. Some times even revealing more than I needed to. Lying in here, would be lying to no one else but myself.
Last edited by FormelyknownasF; 05/04/1006:59 AM.
Separated: March 1 * Affair discovered: 20-March * Exposed: 27 March * Def. separation: May 1st *
I intend for us to meet next saturday so I called my W, 2 days ago. It went straight to voicemail. I didn't leave a message but I was expecting that she would call me back once she saw the missed call. She hasn't.
I wonder if I should try again or it's better to send her a text or email. And what should I do in case she doesn't reply at all? should I just let it go? Wait, I still need to get my stuff!
Separated: March 1 * Affair discovered: 20-March * Exposed: 27 March * Def. separation: May 1st *
I'm glad you're taking time to decide what to do and also pouring out stuff on here. My thoughts mirror yours often.
I would wait for her to respond a couple more days, and then try again. If no response then I would email stating why you wish to meet i.e. getting stuff/closure.
But I am only a rookie and know nowt!
Reality is that which, if you don't believe in it, doesn't go away.
Thanks for your support, L. It's interesting that you find similarities. The more I read and inform myself about this, the more I see that there are very little "unique" situations. Most of them have the same first and second acts at least.
As for act 3, I wish you the best outcome possible.
F
Separated: March 1 * Affair discovered: 20-March * Exposed: 27 March * Def. separation: May 1st *
