I have written here about my lifelong friend whose husband left a year ago. Moved right in with OW. Left 2 lovely daughters and a doting wife. The past year has been awful for them - we can all relate.
I wrote here about a month ago that he wanted to come back. My friend had finally accepted things. He wanted to come home to the house, the pool, the cars etc. Very material. He never once said how much he loved her, missed her, wanted her. She said no. She continued with her moving forward plan.
This week her H finally signed the separation agreement. And paid on thier line of credit so she could get her mortgage. Today he was to meet his daughter for lunch for her birthday. But he did not show. Instead - he drove to a high bridge, parked his truck and jumped off. He committed suicide!
I am at the cottage. I am going home to help her plan the funeral. We are all in shock. I am just sick.
OMG, I'm so sorry Barb. I hope your friend realizes she is not responsible for this, he made bad choices and the final one was the worst of all. He did this to himself. My prayers are with you folks.
Thank you Wii. It is so hard to know how to feel. What to think. I am just horrified. They were close family friends. Their daughters were friends of my daughter. My daughter is just shocked too. She called my ex who acted like he didn't even know him yet he had been to our home numerous times.
The hard thing will be keeping his family from blaming my friend. She struggled so much during this past year. It was so hard on her. She was NEVER unkind to him. But it will be hard for guilt not to play a part in this and for her to second guess herself.
I have weird feelings myself as I've spent so much time helping her move forward and things I've said and felt about him and what he did to her. So hard to know how to feel. But I sure know how his daughters must feel. This is just horrible.
This is it. The ultimate revenge. The totally selfish way to go. And in the most prominant place. Something that shut the highway down for hours and will make front page news. Something his daughters will have to live with forever. And his oldest daughter will remember this on every birthday to come.
I had just wished her happy birthday on facebook about 5 min before I was contacted.
My neighbors ex-H ended his life because his fiance called off the wedding. And my brothers ex-W ended her life last year on the run from the law. She had let alcohol and drugs bring her soul lower than whale sh!t.
My friend and I have often talked about this possibility. He was very despondent in the past few weeks. I was familiar with the signs although none of us really thought he would do it. He had hinted, but not spoke of it directly. And as I had told her many times - you can't stop him if he decides to do it. We had spent all day last Sunday together and had this discussion then.
And why am I so familiar with this? My ex made several serious suicide attempts during our marriage. He was hospitalized more than once for attempts. It was a horrible thing to know but again - no one can stop someone who is determined to do it.
This funeral will be one of the toughest ever to get through. I don't even know where to begin. But I guess the funeral home may have some experience with similar situations and hopefully offer some good bereavement counselling. I will ask about this when we go there tommorrow.
oh no, how terrible and sad! my heart goes out to the family and all involved, so sorry to hear this, I will make sure to pray for them and will have my church pray for them!
Ex was also suicidal for a while, it's all in their hands, his mom, several counselors and even I tried to talk sense into him to no avail... depression is a terrible thing... the person him/herself must get professional help and medication.
Seemed like he was trying to fill a horrible void with ow and then since that didn't work out wanted to move back in not for your friend but in efford to fill the void (the reason ex moved back in, didn't work). If she would have let him back there was no guarantee he wasnt going to commit suicide then, he needed help she couldn't provide. Tell your friend this has always been out of her hands, no one could've made him do anything, he had to accept he needed help, can't force anyone to change.
Does she attend any church? do you? not sure if funeral homes have resources to direct her, right now her family needs to cling to God to go through this horrible ordeal.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Wow. I'll just mention that none of us can judge the soul or motives of a person so despondent that he would do this. He may have been planning to come home and make his peace and settle his arrangements and then do it. I'm no shrink but this is entirely possible. That's what he did anyway. Closed out the accounts and executed the plan. Horribly sad. Sorry for your loss. Wonder.
