I was deleting her emails the other day and the last one I had from her before this whole hell started. It read:
"I'm missing you so much, this holiday is not the same without you. The food doesn't have any taste, the sun is not warm. I miss you. So glad it's only a few days until you arrive"
So what do I want?
Not sure, G. Some times I think I want to make sense of this. For my own mental health.
It's not that I want to pursue her, I just that I never got to tell her my side of the story and it's also unfair that she never really gets to know what happened.
I know she's hurt and I'm hurt but the truth of what happened needs to be revealed. Even if it is by her reading a book and not through me.
She deserves it.
And even if it ends here. We still have to take care of my stuff, closing bank accounts, etc. How do we go from here?
I'm sorry I screwed this by wording my "request" wrong. So sorry.
Separated: March 1 * Affair discovered: 20-March * Exposed: 27 March * Def. separation: May 1st *
What books like "Not just friends" or "After the affair" tell on how affairs happen and why. How you get all doped, how chemicals mess up with everything, how it's unfair to compare your husband with a lover, etc
I've learned all this. I think it's only fair she knows what really happened to us. Even if we never get back together. Whether she learns from that or not, that's her problem.
I don't know why I think I still owe her that as a human being.
Last edited by FormelyknownasF; 05/08/1005:44 PM.
Separated: March 1 * Affair discovered: 20-March * Exposed: 27 March * Def. separation: May 1st *
i'm sorry she is no longer interested in talking to you. That is the danger in the method that you used. Exposure can be a double edged sword; it can wound the one who wields it too. It sounds like you had a nice marriage before all this started. At this point, stick to business. Get your things, close out bank accounts, etc. If you two are ever to reconcile, it will be a lot further down the road, when both of you can forget about the pain you believe the other caused you, and remember the good times.
And, it is time to accept that this method did not work for you. Time to try a different approach, if you are going to try at all. You could try being the same person she knew and loved before all of this happened.
Yep. Might not have worked but it was my choice and I have to accept the consequences. And yes, I would like to try a different approach, although your message doesn't give much hope. Sadly.
Separated: March 1 * Affair discovered: 20-March * Exposed: 27 March * Def. separation: May 1st *
And, it is time to accept that this method did not work for you. Time to try a different approach, if you are going to try at all. You could try being the same person she knew and loved before all of this happened.
Its nearly impossible to be the same person you where before, because now you have all the experiences of the past what makes you what you are today.
