there`s lots more there and in other threads but because your situation is `far gone` (like in my case), I do suggest following the advice that I gave you in the alt.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
Hey Flowmom, how come you don't tell him to read what I've written...I wrote some great stuff on Dating Like Jesus and coming up with a CD list for Sol at his Frat Party and...OK, you may be right in referring him elsewhere. But SR, if you ever need completely meaningless (but funny) posts, I'm your guy!
I haven`t had the pleasure of reading your posts . I`ll be sure to look then up when I can.
They'll change your life,Flowmom. They changed mine! Now instead of wasting endless hours watching stupid YouTube videos, I waste endless hours writing stupid posts...how can something that feels so right be so wrong?
FM, thanks for searching and finding the relevant stuff for me. How sweet are you? I read all those posts last night, I'm ready to drop the rope. I'm still waiting G's response on your suggestion.
She sent me a txt last night saying DD was in bed already but asked to send me a pic of her's so she attached DD's pic. I didn't respond. I stayed 100% dark yesterday (mother's day). It's not like me, I still care for her but a lot of those emotions are being replaced with anger lately. Thinking about how much could the marriage/me/us really mean to her for her to just pick up and move out just like that. She wants to be someone she can go on ahead. She's done this before with other guys, in fact, I didn't know until much later on that I was the OM when she was having 'problems' with her last boyfriend. I bet she just gets bored and feels unhappy and wants a fresh start every few years. She's been with me the longest by far. Oh well...I'm rambling again.
I had a decent weekend. Among other things I finally replaced the waterpump on my bimmer so it's working again, washed the truck, did some laundry and cleaning. Tuned the carbs on my motorcycle.
I made some chicken in the crock pot, pretty proud of myself and it was soooo easy. I thawed the chicken breast then cut it up into small pieces, peeled and cut up a potato, tossed them in the crock pot along with some salt, paprika, pepper and a can of cream of mushroom. About 5hrs later I was eating it over steamed rice and frozen spinach. It came out pretty darned good for my first try and only took maybe 15 mins in prep.
Oh DD and I had built a bird house out of left over 1x6 boards about a year ago. We hung it in the back patio but the birds (sparrows mostly never really used it. Well yesterday I see two blue jays going in and out of it.
Overall, I'm doing pretty good even when I'm by myself for long periods of time. Wed is court mediation date...not sure what to expect but I'm sure it'll be fine.
Last edited by StupidRomeo; 05/10/1003:35 PM.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
(((HotRomeo))) good for you. This is hard but you can do it. I love that you`re cooking and making a birdhouse with D. It`s wonderful that you`re making the house into a home...for both of you.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
So I found this email from STBXW from 2007 just before we reconciled (after a year and a half apart): "Thanks for coming over tonight and helping DD carve the pumpkin and also for the flowers. I really appreciated it. She had a really good time I think, even though you mentioned she had been crabby today.
I guess some of my dreams are big ones, some are just small ones. One is to get a house together again someday. I think it would also be cool if we both got lasix for our eyes (not at the same time though! you can go first, hahaha.) I would love to see you get a car that you're really happy with instead of driving that old car. I think seeing you happy would be pretty nice. I would love to go back to your home someday. I've actually always wanted to go. Even if we stayed apart I would have loved to go back with you and DD. I do think it would be cool to take roadtrips around the US, or even fly places that are farther away. I would love to take vacations with you and DD too. Those are just some of the things that come off the top of my head. Oh yeah, I would also love to go to Law School (the Donald Bren School of Law, seriously! ahahahaha) and be admitted to their first class which is fall of 2009, if they get it together by then. I would love to eventually be back together cause it really does make me sad when DD says, "I want daddy." I want to tell her that I hope we'll be back together soon and have one house again.
I'm really proud of the changes that you've made in yourself. I want to change too and make you equally proud of me. I also need to be coached, prodded and helped along if you see I'm slipping or need help, advice, etc. I would like to do the same for you too.
I am really sorry for the pain and hurt that I've caused you. I want you to be able to forgive me someday and let me know what else I can do to help you with that.
love, STBXW"
How did we get here? It seems like there was so much potential, we could be so much more if we stayed true to our intentions.
We did buy a house together We bought a travel trailer and a truck to take road trips We even flew abroad to vacations
....
Last edited by StupidRomeo; 05/10/1006:20 PM.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
My advice is to stay away from those emails! They can't help you right now, it's taking yourself to a place you don't want to be right now. Certainly, at one time we all wondered exactly what you're wondering. Let it go for now because there is no answer that will make sense to you. It is what it is. Hang in there, SR. Good work on the meal and the birdhouse!
"I don't think there is any advantage over the monthly vs weekly payments for DD's school its just that for credit transactions they only accept it for monthly payments. That was the reason I did it that way.
DD will be on the wait list at the X school. I just had a tour today and am filling out the application. Once I get it back to them with a check to hold her spot (they cash it when the spot is available) then she will be on the list. Hopefully, I will finish today and can drop it off tomorrow morning. In the meantime, we should have at least 1-2 backup schools for her to attend in the chance she doesn't get a spot. I would recommend that we tour both schools and then you can decide. The X campus is amazing so I'd love for her to go there. If she has to go somewhere else until she gets a slot there, I'm ok with that too.
I can pay the ATT bill and I'm fine with an out of court settlement. Not really sure what that means but if its cheaper, sure.
What happened to X (SR: neighbor's dog)? DD said that he died??? Also she said something about X (SR: our cat) getting bigger and her face changed (SR: lol)? Are you guys eating the artichokes and strawberries yet (SR: from the garden she put in earlier this year)? I have the portable dvd player, her lunch bag and a couple other things to drop off maybe tomorrow if you don't mind.
So I'm not sure how I'll respond but a few things came to mind as I read it:
- she finally responded to my emails properly after 10 days - she didn't start with 'hi' or end with 'thanks' - she's being fair with DD's school selection etc...that's nice - she says she's ok with an out of court settlement but then throws in the caveat that she doesn't know what it means and she's ok with it because it might be cheaper- not because it'll be more amicable. Still that's nice and a 'progress' in my book- even if it's progress towards D. - why's she concerened about the dog, our cat, the garden all of which she left behind like me. why doesn't she care or ask ' how are you doing SR? lol - she's needy for my response that's why she ended with a question about her wanting to drop off a couple of things it shows by her mentioning umimportant things and then saying maybe tomorrow. So she'd like to get a reply by tonight or tomorrow morning. - I shouldn't respond to her soon...maybe not for a few days, maybe not for a week or two...maybe never. Only thing worth while responding to is DD's school sitch which is time sensitive.
Any advice from the wise?
Last edited by StupidRomeo; 05/10/1010:53 PM.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
hey there romeo... yes, I also think you are over analyzing.
and I didn't catch up, just read the last page, I'm slowly moving away from the boards, it's been a long time since I first came on, and I'm just finding myself coming less and less. you can always chat with me in the alt though.
I did catch the email you found in 2007. I'm sorry that things have come to this now. you can't make another person be what they aren't able to be. however, one thing that sticks out to me is this.
" I would love to see you get a car that you're really happy with instead of driving that old car. I think seeing you happy would be pretty nice."
after getting back together...how was your own happiness?
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
I think you're over-thinking, over-parsing, over analyzing. Back off a bit. Let go.
I'm also in agreement!
You need to concentrate more on yourself HotRomeo. I know you think you are, but you're not. I remember when CityGirl used to post that to me over and over again. I appreciated her feedback but I was frustrated, thinking "what?? how am I supposed to do that??". As you know from reading my thread I've had to try new things and really work to not be constantly analyzing everything that H says and does.
Did I read that you'll be in mediation on Wednesday? Can you post what you're doing to prepare for that, emotionally?
hugs.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
. I`ll be sure to look then up when I can.