He and I saw each other once a few days after he moved out then he admitted to me he had lied to me, he didn't want to do the controlled separation and he pretended he wanted to just so he had an easy way to move out.
You saw each other. He admitted (not that it makes it right). He didn't send his best friend to face you.
Separated: March 1 * Affair discovered: 20-March * Exposed: 27 March * Def. separation: May 1st *
Actually, it was months and months until he told me he had lied to me about his intentions of moving out and the only reason he came forward was the legal proceedings that were starting. I live in a 'fault' state so all his actions were about to be very scrutinized. He only told me to attempt to alleviate legal damage on his end.
We only saw each other ONCE after he moved out to go on a "date" he had orchestrated so it looked like his intentions were somewhat pure. He spent the entire "date" texting. At the time he told me he was texting his parents who were traveling out of the country at the time and I believed him. He was texting with OW.
My H moved out in April of 2008 and since then, other than court appearances, I have seen him a total of 6 times.
I hear you and I'm sorry for what you been through. In no way I was trying to say that he had integrity. With the info you just provided, he obviously has none of it.
My point is, moving out is an ACTIVE decision. All the decisions my W has made have been passive. she's had it too easy and I'm to blame. I thought that moving out was what a gentleman and loving husband should do to provide space. And same thing for letting her travel without me and let her remain there without me.
Anyway, she has replied now and we have agreed at a later time tomorrow. She appears to be handling this in a civilized way.
Last edited by FormelyknownasF; 05/14/1006:48 PM.
Separated: March 1 * Affair discovered: 20-March * Exposed: 27 March * Def. separation: May 1st *
I am not telling you how to feel. Trust me, I get the range of emotions you can feel in a span of 60 seconds. Although my situation is certainly not new I still deal with feelings that span the spectrum.
If you feel you made mistakes in the past all you can do at this point is learn from it and alter how you do things now. If you can go to sleep each night knowing that you have made mistakes in your past (we all have!) but are trying to improve now, well, life will be just fine.
My gentle advice would be not to get too caught up in hoping your W will feel or have some grand consequence. I can openly admit from time to time I still struggle with that. My H might or might not ever have the consequence I want him to have/feel. When my mind goes to that track I try and remember how much energy I am wasting on something I have no control over.
I appreciate your comments and advice, girl. I doubt she will have any epiphanies any time soon. Not with the friend there and the Law of attraction supporting every action she does. But I intend not to waste any more energy in things I can't change.
Thanks, girl. I admire your strength.
Last edited by FormelyknownasF; 05/14/1007:00 PM.
Separated: March 1 * Affair discovered: 20-March * Exposed: 27 March * Def. separation: May 1st *
not once, has she have the courage to face the consequences of what she did.
Originally Posted By: FormelyknownasF
She practically arranged for this to happen when she couldn't see me in the eye. Dropped the bomb by phone, had the affair when I wasn't in the country, asked me to move before she came back home so we wouldn't cross paths, etc.
Cowardly indeed. Put these on your list of why this woman doesn't deserve a man like you.
Nope. I'm meeting new people, yes. Talking to girls more often than I used to but I still feel guilty to cross the line. I'm still married so something inside me feels as if I'm cheating. I need to over come this. Working on that.
Separated: March 1 * Affair discovered: 20-March * Exposed: 27 March * Def. separation: May 1st *
