Cause for alarm?

[OfficerInNeed]

That did cross my mind, great point. Is it OK for me to say something? I need something that says in not so many words

"Stay there, economy sucks, nothing else out there, be grateful you have this, go to part time if necessary. People would love to have your job right now."

How can I retract what I said without retracting?

[Allen A]

Just leave it, she sounds determined to stay there.

The other thing is, she COULD look for work closer to her father's place... another reason I think she's just bluffing.. or at least isn't 100% out the door.

If she really wanted out OIN, she would leave... there's always a way out.. she's holding back ...

Just leave the work thing for her.. if she wants out help her, but don't PUSH her to leave there... I don't think that's gonna help you or your marriage right now... she is way too vulnerable and escapism is NOT something you want her to be learning his a good thing ...

Don't be negative and tell her to stay, just nod and let her drive her career choices..

[OfficerInNeed]

OK

I was wondering if saying something like

"I wanted to say one last thing and I will let it go unless you want to talk about it. I thought about it more and realize that leaving work is not the best idea at the moment. There is nothing else out there and thank god you even have a job."

Or just let it go. She hated this job for a very long time. We tried and tried to find her a new job but had no success because the economy her just sucks.

Her father lives in the middle of nowhere, there is nothing close to him. When he moves to the house he is fixing up for him and her, it is closer and within driving distance for her current employment.

[DaddyLongShanks]

Officer, I found the following excerpt from another forum. And this is motivation to any of us currently being cheated on:

"First, let me say that I never reccommend working it out with a cheater. Despite her "good reasons " for cheating, she has been unfaithful and that is unacceptable. but fix it and just swallow the crap is pretty much the way of modern thought. You going the extra ten miles to please her in bed is such a fine reward for her infidelity. When raising kids or training animals , you never reward bad behavior because it re-enforces the idea that they can get what they want through bad behavior. Adult humans are no different. Beyond that...

My real question is how do you know he was hung? And how hung was he supposedly?"

Its pretty much saying don't reward the infidelity.

I don't think you say anything to her, and you let this situation burn her because it sounds like OM and OMW are going to get back together, wife will be left out.

I don't know why this fantasy makes the OM relationship so much more important to yours where she will say "whatever".

[OfficerInNeed]

Complaining that something sucks doens't HELP, it just makes it worse... REBULDING what's broken or at least researching HOW is the route she should be taking... complaining and escaping solves nothing...

I just have to figure out how to word that in once gentle but impacting stentence...

I am all ears.

[Allen A]

I would say NOTHING about her workplace OIN.. just leave it alone... you can't do anything there... let it go... if you push it with even one more syllable she is going to get suspicuios... walk away from that NOW

[OfficerInNeed]

I won't say anything more about work place. I am actually not going to say anything, I am going to allow her to initiate all conversation, and I shall respond upbeat and pleasant.

I am just trying to prepare responses for possible things she will say....I had it programmed to say "I just want you to be happy"

[OfficerInNeed]

W woke up after sleeping all day. She W to the kitchen and made herself something to eat. As W was walking upstairs she said "oohhhhhhhh OIN I did it again" I started to get up and say "what" and W said "I forgot to get allergy medicine again"

I said something along the lines of "that stinks"

W the ate and said "I did not eat all day and now I feel like I ate to much" W then went back to sleep with upset stomach.

[Allen A]

How is "that stinks" upbeat? lol

[OfficerInNeed]

Well...I was more being empathetic. Like "Ahhh man, that stinks" hmmm it sound good at the time.