MLC - standing by my man

[Mila]

AJ - thanks so much for your great post. Lots of good advice and a bit of kick in the butt for me as well. I guess I needed it

You are right they all behave the same....it's scary actually. Intellectually it all makes sense to me, but I have a hard time with the emotional attachment I still feel. I know that I'm way to nice to him ....I'm a people pleaser and I have to learn how to say NO - enough is enough...you can't use me and emotionally abuse me anymore.

Someone from this board suggested to me a while ago to get the book "Why men love bitches". I think I'll get it. I need to learn how to become one LOL

Thank you SA and Glamgirl

I do need space from him now, this is not a punishment for him at all, but I do hope that he will think about what he is giving up and realize that all he has left is OW and her baggage.

For now I'm good with dark


Hope you all have a great weekend

[DiamondGirl]

Awesome! ((((hugs))))

[glamgirl]

Realize that all he has left is OW and her baggage!

That won't happen until your h gets through the crisis. So sad it takes so long for them to wake up and then some never wake up.

Have a great weekend despite your situation.

[SecondChance]

Mila,

Mine tries to get in through the garden gate too.

I think it's in that MLCer handbook they all have

- SCh

[courageous wife]

Mila..I am like you...it is the emotional detachment that I am having a hard time with and beleive me, it is easier when they are not around!

Why Men Love Bitches is a great book! It is not about becoming a Bitch! It is really about remembering who you were BEFORE you met your H and became his wife! It is very good!

[Mila]

Thank you DG, Glam, SCH & CW

Getting in through the garden gate didn't work for him this weekend so I got another email.

I would like to come sometimes tonight or tomorrow morning to pick-up few of my things. Please let me know what would work for you. Thanks.

Well I can't really say no to that, but I don't want him hanging around and likely starting up another unpleasant conversation with me. I'm planning to send him an email asking him to tell me what items he needs and that I will get it ready on a pile and give him a time when can he pick it up tomorrow.

[glamgirl]

Mila my suggestion is you NOT get a list and set it out for him. Can be seen as control. Just pick a time and you be gone when he arrives. Not sure if your h has access to the house still or if you will need to let him in.

Just my thoughts.

[seeking answers]

Mila, Has your H left a lot of things at your place? Any way to get everything together and let him know when he can pick it up?

[Mila]

Thanks Glam & SA
When he moved out he only took his clothes and toiletries some kitchen things, his office furniture, exercise machine and of course TV, Stereo, Laptop, his MAC, camera equipment, bed, bedding, towels....stuff like that. I'm not sure what he wants...his bike, tennis racket, paintings....of course there are lots of things that he still has here that he can say are only his....although everything we have we got in the last 36 years together so it's all marital assets.

I was thinking it would be smarter to put it all together for him so he doesn't roam around the house for long, I want him in and out ASAP

[seeking answers]

Those were my thoughts, too.