I agree with Glamgirl. I would not ask for a list nor would I set it out for him. It is contolling and you are not his mother. Give him a time and day to pick up the things (boundary) and then try not to be around. Right now I think you really need to step back from all of this find your bearings and regroup. When my sitch was emotionally charged - the more I interacted with W the worse I felt.
As hard as it may be try and have a peaceful weekend. Think about some things that you can do for you. Maybe go to a spa and get a massage, get your nails or toes done, go for a run, a walk in the park - anything that can take your mind off of this. Do not let him pull you back in.
God Bless and know that u r not alone in this.
Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
If there is a possible trust issue I can see why Mila may not want her H running around her house taking whatever. Since she has chosen to remain dark for now I could see how setting out whatever her H wants would keep her from having to interact with him and possibly being engaged in another R talk.
I think she is trying to establish some boundaries for her H, not punishments.
Mila, I apologize for my above post. I realize I was speaking for you and know that you are more than capable of speaking for yourself. I also realize this is the way I feel and may not be how you feel.
SA (((hug))) Why would you apologize for that, absolutely no need for that. You were right on, I don't want him around and I would prefer if he wasn't coming and I would rather set everything out in the garage so he doesn't even come in...I have a feeling that he will try to engage me in a conversation...particularly about that nasty email that he'd sent yesterday...and I don't want to talk about it....attacking me as a mother...I'm still too emotional about it.
That's why I'll be ready to leave the house just impatiently waiting for him to get his stuff...I'll appear to be in a hurry so he doesn't start anything.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Good luck with H coming by. Can you have a friend there - both to have a good time and also to distract you so you're not likely to get dragged into an R talk?
M&H - the friend is a good idea, I'll remember it for next time. I don't want to bug someone to come over at 9:30am on Saturday. If he starts I'll just tell him that I don't want to talk about it.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Good luck today, Mila. My H too is in the process of getting 'his stuff'. Its hard to not stand there and watch him, but I also wonder if things are just going to disappear that we really hadn't talked about. Probably not a big deal, I guess its better a few books or knick-knacks go rather than having a confrontation. Hugs to you.
Me - 38 Husband - 40 MLC! Together 12 years Married 11 years Still the love of my life Forever only lasted 10 years before his MLC and affair
