Puppy, there is def another woman right? They call each other every day. She is now an entrepnuer holistic health coach as of last month that I saw on linked in.
I want to go up there and expose to him, then call her and call her parents. I am starting to believe he does not want to see me because he has guilt. I want to just show up there
M:27 H: 33 M:10/07 T:9 yrs H moves away for drug recovery: 3/2010 ILYBINILWY & wants D:5/02/10 Confirmed OW:5/21 Told MIL:5/25(only concerned about H's recovery) Told FIL:5/28(will speak to him)
I spoke to his cousin who owns the farm where he's staying out to recover. Basically his cousin told me with his own words, not mine, that H is in a fog...that he's trying to escape reality. That he has traded addictions for other addictions. He went up there to recover from painkillers but is now drinking every night. He NEVER drank before. He has traded cigarettes for cigars. He DESPISED cigars. His cousin did not confirm the A, but since he did not deny, I know its going on. Cousin told me they sat him down Sunday night and he was telling them "How could I do this to him meaning the pregnancy" They told him it takes two and its a blessing. I suspect that is why he owned up to baby in yesterday's voicemail. Cousin told me they will continue to talk to him as he needs therapy and does not see it.
Another one of his young cousin's girlfriends told me no one agrees with what H is doing. They all are disgusted but no one will intervene as its none of their business. It's like the big elephant in the room that no one will speak about. The only hope of family intervention that I have is his older cousin with the farm
But I will call 2 of his aunts and uncles which he is close with up there to expose. They are loud lol and love me dearly and I know they will support me even if they do decide to not say much to him. I will make it as uncomfortable for him as possible!
M:27 H: 33 M:10/07 T:9 yrs H moves away for drug recovery: 3/2010 ILYBINILWY & wants D:5/02/10 Confirmed OW:5/21 Told MIL:5/25(only concerned about H's recovery) Told FIL:5/28(will speak to him)
I am trying to gather strength to expose today. It will happen today.
He just left me a message 5 minutes ago. He sounded desperate and pathetic and confused.
"Heeeey W, umm It's H. I left you a message yesterday and you haven't called back. Umm please call me back. Well first how are you feeling? I just checked my email and you haven't emailed me my resume. I am getting antsy. I need a job. Things here are getting uncomfortable here with (the people he's staying w to recover) and I need to find my own place (I believe they are now starting to give him a hard time ). You told me you were going to email me the resume. Can you please do so..... ( After having my laptop dewormed, I don't even have his resume anymore. I will tell him laptop is at best buy lol). Also did you send up the credit card. I really need it. (I sent up that stupid card already. Jesus, it only has a 300 limit) Please call my back ok bye."
M:27 H: 33 M:10/07 T:9 yrs H moves away for drug recovery: 3/2010 ILYBINILWY & wants D:5/02/10 Confirmed OW:5/21 Told MIL:5/25(only concerned about H's recovery) Told FIL:5/28(will speak to him)
He's just fishing around for attention right now. Don't bite.
As for exposing, personally I don't know how much good it will do. If he has the addictive compulsions like you've descibed, he's just going to do it again or strengthen his bond to the OW.
It seems like ignoring him is getting you more of a response than anything else. Stay strong and don't respond to him. If you need to respond to him, just answer with yes...no type answers.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
He's just fishing around for attention right now. Don't bite.
As for exposing, personally I don't know how much good it will do. If he has the addictive compulsions like you've descibed, he's just going to do it again or strengthen his bond to the OW.
It seems like ignoring him is getting you more of a response than anything else. Stay strong and don't respond to him. If you need to respond to him, just answer with yes...no type answers.
ok....will not bite today. Tomorrow? I do want to let him know that I know and I do want to call this OW and let her know that I am his wife and to respect our marriage.
As far as exposing to his aunts and uncles....up there in the countryland where he is...it is his safe haven.He has escaped to there. Even if his aunts and uncles do not outright say something, they will make it uncomfortable for him to go to their houses, to bring OW there. I want to burst his bubble that by him being up there, everyone will just forget about me.
After all of this, I love him, as foolish as that sounds. He went into a downward spiral when he started using almost 2 years ago(and I believe it has to do with H losing his job, his mother announcing divorce, my dad getting sick all at the same time) but I married him for better or worse. I pray to God he will, and I know he can only do this on his own, realize he needs help. Realize he needs to speak to a therapist. Realize he can't just escape.
M:27 H: 33 M:10/07 T:9 yrs H moves away for drug recovery: 3/2010 ILYBINILWY & wants D:5/02/10 Confirmed OW:5/21 Told MIL:5/25(only concerned about H's recovery) Told FIL:5/28(will speak to him)
He called again at 4. Then called again at 7 and left message.
"Umm hi, it's me. I left you a message earlier in the day. I checked my email and resume isn't there. Also wanted to speak to you about a few things.ummmm please call me at your earliest convenience"....
I will listen to you both. Did not bite. Will send text short and sweet in an hour or so. Thank you so much fellow DB'ers..
M:27 H: 33 M:10/07 T:9 yrs H moves away for drug recovery: 3/2010 ILYBINILWY & wants D:5/02/10 Confirmed OW:5/21 Told MIL:5/25(only concerned about H's recovery) Told FIL:5/28(will speak to him)
Actually it's his not knowing what you know that's the greatest advantage you have. He's probably wondering why you're "silent". Does she know? What does she know?, etc.
When you send the message just mention the resume and that you are "busy".
"H, I sent your credit card via the postal service on <insert date here>. I no longer have your resume on my computer. I'm out now, so will talk to you later."
That's it. Then shut your phone off so you don't see any replies from him.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
OMG, I forgot to add important info.This surely does change what he's thinking right?
He DOES know that I know. He does not know how much I know though. His mother must of told him that I said he was with a blonde because his young cousin's girlfriend (the one who told me that they are all disgusted but do not want to say anything) also told me that he was angry that the "cousins' significant others are going around telling me stuff". So he knows I know something.
M:27 H: 33 M:10/07 T:9 yrs H moves away for drug recovery: 3/2010 ILYBINILWY & wants D:5/02/10 Confirmed OW:5/21 Told MIL:5/25(only concerned about H's recovery) Told FIL:5/28(will speak to him)
). You told me you were going to email me the resume. Can you please do so.....