Wow Mila...sounds like you are detaching well! I find it funny that they leave us because they say they arent happy, but really they always seem more unhappy when they are away. At least that was the case with my H. Dont make sense, but then, nothing they do makes sense!
Have a great weekend My friend!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Thanks Kissak, Is it possible that maybe the are only unhappy around us? You know, every time he sees me the quilt comes back and maybe it's subconscious but he goes into depressed mode and that's just confirming for him that he did the right thing by leaving me.
I don't know, I'm just musing here. I'm sure that he doesn't have a long face when he is with OW.....
You have a great weekend too
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
I, too, see that my H seems even more unhappy when I see him than when he was home. Ds report the same thing and so does S26. Very depressed. I can't imagine that it is any better when ow and he are together.
Since I've stepped back out of the way and no longer bite on any bait there is only one person who gets to be on the receiving end of it. Wonder if she thinks she won such a prize now?
In your H's case there are two depressed people. Truly, how much fun can that really be?
I'm pretty sure mine puts his "mask" on around OW at least part of the time... The rest I think he chalks up to the stress of being in school and living at SIL... Oh and don't forget... Being so far apart from OW (insert gagging sounds here)... I'm guessing that will change once my H and OW finally get to live together full time... It will be harder for my H to keep the mask on...
Maybe yours is doing the same...
Just a thought...
Doesn't matter really... Doesn't change anything or feel any better... That's why we shouldn't let ourselves think about details like that and get sucked into the vortex...
~ This Diamond now SHINES!! ;-p ~
My Sitch in MLC - http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Main=45253&Number=1901148#
Sounds like you handled your business meeting well. Love it that you caught H giving you the 'once over'.
I really like what HeartsBlessing always said about detaching. When we get out of the way it allows our WASs to put someone else in their crosshairs. In my situation, when I stepped aside and detached, I began to see evidence of friction between my XH and his BMF of 30 years. I'm pretty sure that my XH's BMF played an important role in convincing XH his unhappiness was because of me, so it's been interesting to watch tension grow between them. On the occasions when I see XH I say things to him like "You are so lucky to have BMF to help you with everything that you have to deal with during your mother's chronic illness (XH's mother is dying of dementia)". XH always responds with something like this: "BMF hasn't helped with that". I never respond to that. Just let our conversation end with XH thinking about his last statement.
Sounds like things aren't all rosy with your H and ow. Keep moving forward, being the classy woman that you are, and let the universe teach H the lessons he needs to learn.
DG - Your H & OW is a long distance R same as mine...It may prolong the romance therefore prolonging replay.
GAG - it's sad how they are destroying all of their important relationships. It's this need for a do-over that drives them. That's why it's called a replay I guess.
Just to show you how out of it my H is. After discovering last week that he misplaced a cheque that he was supposed to give to someone. Today he calls me and apparently he found an envelope with another payment in his car that I gave him to mail more then a month ago. I had to replace that cheque a while ago because the supplier kept calling and I thought that it got lost in the mail.
It just makes me wonder how functional he really is...this would have never happened in the past, he used to be so reliable.
Today he wanted to come over to get some stuff ready for his trip with D (portable fridge, horseback riding gear etc). I told him that I'm going out to come at certain time. He rings the bell and as I'm coming down the stairs to open (in my sexy silk robe BTW ) I see his nose plastered against the glass in the entry way, trying to see inside through the sheers. This is about the third time in the last month that I see him do that. WTHeck? That's so rude...and an invasion of my privacy. When I opened the door I had a bit of annoyed look but didn't say anything.
I just went back upstairs and he got ready whatever he wanted to get ready and left in about 15 minutes without saying bye.
Weekend to myself D & H are leaving in the morning. I have a party to go to tomorrow night and I don't have to take care of anything or anyone, so I'll make this weekend all about me
Last edited by Mila; 06/05/1003:09 AM.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
