You cant worry about what other people think. They have their own problems.
Worry about protecting yourself and your kids.
Your WAW is sick right now. Hopefully some day she will choose to get better. You can help speed up the process by making REALITY hit faster by not enabling her behavior.
You do this by putting on your armor in order to slay the dragon.
Everytime she says anything raise your sheild to block the fire.
Get a lawyer asap. File a petition for divorce. Fight for custody of your kids. If after all this the OM and her are still wanting this and havn't caved then keep on fighting. Being nice and playing the victim will only make you more resentful and empower her more.
Stop the fantasy by standing up for your rights. I fought for mine and stuck my ground and got joint residency and custody. You should do the same. Protect the kids should be number one.
I have a lawyer already.She wants to file for a dissolution as soon as she gets back with shared parenting. I bet she wants to move out too.As I stated filing for a divorce wouldn't help any way would it?She took all of the family savings on the vacation so I can't pay a lawyer to file for me right now.There wouldn't be any difference any way a dissolution might be cheaper for me in the long run.She just wants out.She is willing to walk away with nothing if she can get out fast.The only worry I have is she has been drinking alot and then she drives home sometimes with the youngest son.Lawyer says that there isn't too much I can do about it because the judge will say its all hearsay. anyway.This has all happened with in a 3 week period.Like I said I am stiil numb.
Remember this process can go as fast and as slow as YOU want it to. Depending on what state you are in it can take up to 2 years. My advice is to figure out what YOU want and what is best for your children.
If she is willing to file and pay her attorney. Great! If she is willing to split custody with no support. Beautiful! If not you get a lawyer to fight or just go to court and plead to the judge yourself. The courts want the children to be in the best environment possible. Take the pressure off my letting your WAW do the work. Maybe suggest you go to mediation to come up with the best agreement.
The worst thing to do is make EMOTIONAL decisions. Slow it down if you want to. You cant CONTROL her you cant FORCE her to do what you want. YOU can slow down the process or make sure do all the work. Just be nice and agreeable. It's all talk until you get in front of a judge.
