Trust me, you don't want to do anything to add to their guilt. It just makes the MLCer run the opposite direction even faster.
The canned okra was a nice gesture, but keep that kind of thing to a minimum. It could be thought of as pursuing. You also want him to miss those tastes of home. He can't miss those things if he still gets them.
Most of the things will be counter intuitive to what you think you should be doing. You'll get the hang of it as you spend time on this journey.
Dear Heavenly Father, please forgive me for the sin I am about to commit: GLOATING
My daughter returned from seeing my WH, and tells me it was terribly uncomfortable. OW wasn't there, but they are living in a shack behind another house, and that WH looks like death warmed over. She said he didn't want her to leave, but didn't seem to have anything to say, either. She said the whole visit lasted about 10 minutes. WH just looked at the canned Okra I sent with a pained expression on his face. At least I know he left his family to live the High Life.
I humbly ask for forgiveness fo Enjoying the Hell out of this.
OMG! Your prayer is sooooo funny! I need to print that one off for future use.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I really do pray for my husband, sincerely, but there is no explaining how good it made me feel to hear that from my daughter. She said his legs looked like two sticks. So, while sweetie is out working, he is sitting in the shack all day drinking. And with a new rod in his back, I'm sure the sex is fascinating. Exactly what stage of the MLC would this be? Replay? Anyone? Any by the way, I've lost 23 pounds and look Gooooooood.
Okay, 3 hours later, and he has now called my oldest daughter (his step) and asked to see her two boys. She told him fine, same condition as her sister. OW not to be around. He could take them somewhere or meet them somewhere, but alone. What is his deal. For the last three months, he didn't want anything to do with his grands.Oh, and he was unable to drive and meet daughter to get the CPAP yesterday, but today, he can drive to meet with the boys. I think this must be the Replay stage.
ME: 54 Him: 51 M: 20 years T: 21 years OW/New wife: 36 Sons & Daughters: 7 (ages 24-36) Bomb: March 4, 2010 He Filed: April 28, 2010 I Contested: May 1, 2010 Standing Down: 11/24/10 Divorced : 05/04/2011
He is still in replay and will be there for a while. You know, him wanting to see family members makes me think he's looking for sympathy for his condition after surgery. Then again, he may think he's on the verge of popping out of this world.
I'm glad the ladies are sticking to their guns about the ow.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
He seems to take great pride in saying " You know I'm living with Vickie now". To his children. He wants them to make him feel everything is fine, on the up & up. My eldest daughter called later to say he had called back to talk to her oldest son ( 9 yrs. old ) , and mentioned something about 'spending the night at the trailer with Papa. He's not living in the trailer, its parked in a field behind their shack. I don't think this constitutes the "OW not being there". But, him saying something and following up on it recently are two different things. Popping out of this world? I've reported him to everyone from State Senator to Army Inspector General for his PTSD and alcohol abuse, and don't know if a damn thing has been done about it. Trying not to let it bother me so, you know, detaching.
I believe I read a post from someone else in this forum about WH always having a big smile on his face to the outside world, to make everyone think he is SOOOOO happy.
