Hi Shel - Yeah...the heating bill. His apartment and utilities are being paid through business...since he is working from there a lot...so it will get pro-rated business/personal use. But I paid that bill already and he received another one that he doesn't understand the credits and debits on, so he is not sure if anything is due and instead of finding out...he wants me to deal with it. That's typical, he just doesn't have the patience or interest to deal with it...and since it's kind of grey area since I do the business accounting he thinks that its OK to ask me to clear this up.
I'm happily working away in my office catching up on some stuff that I didn't finish because I had to take D to the doctor and H is working outside.
Then he calls up to me from downstairs and asks if we have any more recycle bags for tree clippings, I said all there is is in the shed...I just hear him sighing and then he said, could you go to the store to get me some? I was actually shocked that he would ask. In the old days I would likely leave whatever I was doing and go. Today I said sorry, I'm still working and want to finish this. I heard some unhappy sounds from downstairs and he went to get the bags. He came back 10min later without the bags...I think that the store was already closed. He must have been fuming.
I'm still upstairs and he just called up that he is leaving and that he will get the bags tomorrow and come back to finish up. I yelled back OK...bye and he left.
This is so 180 for me...In the past I would not let him leave without seeing him out. I'm pretty much ignoring him and hardly communicating with him, just the absolute minimum...Is that good? or am I making things worst....don't know
In the past when I was upset with him I kind of gave him the cold shoulder, I have a feeling that me being dark probably feels the same to him and he thinks that I'm angry with him.
To be honest I don't really care what he thinks as much as I used to.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Mila, the "sighing" caught my eye. My WH does that too. Now he "sighs" in text messages and emails as well. As if he is exasperated with all my "inefficiencies." This from the guy who does NOTHING helpful for me and the kids (while I work full-time and raise the kids on my own). If your WH wants to do the yardwork, he can help get the yard supplies. Why should he sigh and be frustrated with you??!!!
SCH - thanks...I agree, why should he be frustrated with me? I didn't ask him to come and work, he keeps volunteering...or more like pushing himself in. Am I supposed to be grateful and appreciative and helpful? Whenever he decides that he wants to HELP ME? Because that's how I think he sees it, that he is a nice guy and he is HELPING ME. Kind of forgetting that there was 2 of us when we decided to buy a big house, there was 2 of us when we decided to become parents. But now he is gone leaving me with everything and he is being nice because he HELPS ME in the garden....
I guess I'm venting a bit...lol
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Good 180 Mila! Good for you for NOT dropping everything and going for those bags. You said it nicely, you didn't give him the cold shoulder...no worries!!!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
I wonder why they want to be nice...my H use to be that way all the time when we were separated. He would always want to do nice things for me. Wonder if its their way of saying "im sorry"? Who knows. I only enjoyed him doing those nice things for me because it irritated the OW. She wondered why he did those things too.
Hope you have a great day Mila!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
My H wanted to know if I wanted him to continue taking care of our rental or if I would. That's where he met OW and last time he was there, he blew up at me and started sleeping on the couch... so no, I do not want him over there. I just ignored his email and he never mentioned it again.
They just want to walk away from the responsibility to be in a monogomous relationship with us, but to keep all the other parts they want (money, control, kids relationships without caregiving), and then go do whatever else they want with whomever they want whenever they want. Cake-eating. If my WH doesn't want a relationship with ME, then he exists on this earth as much as anyone else I have NO relationship with, which is not at all. Or at least that's how I feel right now.
