MLC - standing by my man

[Mila]

Thank you SCH, CW, Kissak, M&H and Libby - I don't know why they want to be nice at times, guilt, confusion...who know what goes on in that MLC brain....But I know that the "nice" part only comes when it suits them...try to ask for a favor when you really need something, if it's not convenient you are out of luck. I actually only asked him once since this all started. I asked him to take D for the weekend so I can go away...NO couldn't OW was in town.

H is outside trimming bushes. He told me yesterday that he will be here at a certain time. I had to take D to the doctor again and I had it planned to be back by then. I get a call from H that when am I going to be back that he is already at the house..he just showed up earlier. Apparently he didn't go in...who knows...but I hope not. If he was snooping around my computer he would have found DB, because I didn't log out.

Again I'm staying out of his way....

[SecondChance]

Mila, password protect your computer; it should have a setting so that after a certain amount of idle time it goes back to the login screen. Not because you are hiding anything, but because your personal thoughts go on there, and you never know who might be around some day....

[Mila]

Thanks SCH - It is password protected once I log off my computer, but I don't have it set up to time out on its own...never had the need to do that...I was an open book with my H. It's sad, but I guess I have to do it now

H trimmed the bushes for about an hour while I was up in my office and then he just called out from downstairs "I'm going bye"...I called back "bye"...and he was gone...no interaction what so ever...

[SecondChance]

it's weird, isn't it. i mean, we can hire gardeners if that's what we want. they were our HUSBANDS, now they are the gardener?

[Mila]

Thanks SCH

Back on the rellercoaster.......

My Father in Law just called me...H came to see him today and told him what's going on with us. My father in law is really, really upset and said that he has very hard time believing this, that he is so shocked, that it seems impossible that this would happen to us, that we were the strongest couple that he knew and for him we were an example of what a good marriage should look like.

He told me they are there for me and that I will always be part of their family and that he will pray for us....I of course started to cry....still crying.....

My FIL is recovering from cancer surgery, he is not very strong right now and had a terrible year battling cancer. He sounded so beaten, old and down and so devastated by this news...told me that he can't talk more right now, it's just to hard....

I'm so angry with my H right now for what he has done to this family....the pain....the destruction....the selfishness.....I almost hate him right now........

[courageous wife]

(((Mila)))

At least your H finally owned what is going on with his father but sounds like his timing stinks. I am sorry Mila...sounds like they think a lot of you!!!

[Mila]

Thanks CW - OK, OK...I don't hate him, but I'm really angry with him right now.

I'm not sure if H went to see his dad with the intention of telling him that he'd left us. FIL said that they were talking about retirement and he was asking H how are we prepared and that's when H said that it's complicated...and then he told him. My guess is that with such direct questions from FIL, he couldn't lie.

But yeah, I guess he had to tell him sooner or later. I knew that it was coming...he was avoiding it as long as he could. Remember FIL's birthday celebration? He was postponing telling me that he is back with OW, so I go there with him under the impression that we are reconciling and he also asked me to buy a B-Day present for his Dad (as I always did). Told me R is off and OW back on the very next day. When I questioned him about it he said "I didn't tell you because I knew that you would want to come for my dad's B-Day".

CW - my FIL loves me and I love and respect him...we kind of have mutual admiration for each other. That's why I'm so upset, because I know how much is this hurting him as well.

I was the perfect DIL for 32 years...How many countless times did I prepare dinners to take to him when he was ill, how many B-Day cakes did I bake for him and his favorite home made cookies....

Well I can still do all of that right? Don't need H to be around.

[courageous wife]

"I was the perfect DIL for 32 years...How many countless times did I prepare dinners to take to him when he was ill, how many B-Day cakes did I bake for him and his favorite home made cookies....

Well I can still do all of that right? Don't need H to be around."


Yes!!!!

[seeking answers]

Absolutely Mila. Keep baking those cookies and cakes.

There is no reason while our H's are on the Mothership that we have to lose the R we have with their families if neither party wants too.

[Mila]

Thanks CW & SA

Since I talked to my FIL I'm kind of shaken, I thought that I'll be better by this morning, but I'm not.....I feel down, sad and nostalgic....again back to disbelieving that this as really happening to us and how is it possible that my sweetie doesn't care if he loses me and that he wants different life....how is that possible after all that love we had for each other and all we have been through together. I'm just so incredibility sad.....