I feel like i need to contact WAW

[TimeHeals]

I will get it out of my mind, but damn I hate these fearful scenarios and uncertainty.

All the more reason to understand the wisdom of the court when they ordered no contact.

Don't remind her to be angry at you.

[Vulcanized]

Not to be an a$$hole here, but seriously, you need to pull your head out of the clouds and focus. On you and your D. Not on this stupid fb $hit.

You seem to be taking on the role of 'victim' here. In this thread, and your new thread, you talk about how your W does things to 'make' you feel/react a certain way. Your W can lay traps & tests for you all she likes; YOU control the way that you act/react to it. Your W can't make you do anything. You need to internalize that truth immediately.

Start thinking more and reacting less. You may just find yourself feeling a little bit better about the whole thing.

[TimeHeals]

Your W can lay traps & tests for you all she likes; YOU control the way that you act/react to it. Your W can't make you do anything. You need to internalize that truth immediately.
Start thinking more and reacting less. You may just find yourself feeling a little bit better about the whole thing.

Wisdom

[knightinneed]

I totally agree, and well FB is going to be blocked and nothing more said. I guess i am just trying to find a answer as to why the vendetta.

OM W calling shed a lot of light on things, by explaining the enabling of her boss, the vendetta, and she has agreed to testify for me in court.

When I heard OM2 was with my daughter, I have to admit that hurt. OM W ask me to not say anything, because her HUB and WAW's boss do not know we are talking and she said they wont tell her anything if they know.

She said she would keep me abreast of any foolishness. Part of me thinks it is ridiculous at this point anyway because its over and I am detached. It would take a miracle for me to believe or trust WAW after all this.

I will detach, not look at FB profile, and move on and focus on D. I wish this mess would end as she still hasnt filed, and well I guess if she really wants to then she can pony up the money. I am already divorced in my mind.

I guess there is not much more to say in all this, as it seems the board is rather frustrated with me and my postings at this time. Your right, screw the victim role I just need to ignore all the foolishness.

[ShockedOne]

Knight, the thing with detachment is that if you were truly detached, you would not be concerned with anything your WAW was doing that did not involve your DD1.

[knightinneed]

Knight, the thing with detachment is that if you were truly detached, you would not be concerned with anything your WAW was doing that did not involve your DD1.

I know your right. I have really been getting into prayer quite a bit to help cope with all of this. I know my wife is immature perhaps a narcissist as well as she has many of the symptoms.

The prayer and religion part have me divided on if this M should even be thought about to be saved? I mean if I really wanted to I could go FILE right now ask for full and speed it along as I know she has no money for that.

I havent prayed for her so much as myself and DD1. Prayed for clarity, guidance, for someone to come along my path to help me and for the lord to take my pain away.

I am just wondering if WAW fog is real and well regardless of how evil she seems and has a vendetta for me is it Gods plan for me to move on now or perhaps wait her out?

I really would like for her to file D since it will save me $ and she is the one that wants it. My money can be used for a custody case moving forward or new stuff for DD1.

Part of me thinks that when the smoke has cleared she has hit rock bottom has no money and no one to help, that the call of god may come into her life again, and well what if she is on my doorstep.

I hate to keep harping, but after reading prayer circle and also doing some of my own praying these thoughts enter my mind and well, I just wonder if one day we can be civil enough to not hate but respect one another again.

It could be 18 yrs of hell if it continues on this path and I would prefer DD1 to be in her life if she is showing stabilty.

I guess I do still love her, but am detached and moving on. I made a promise to not look at her facebook ever again and if OM shows up at court, I plan on just not looking that way.

Please pray for me guys, I need it.

[TimeHeals]

I know your right. I have really been getting into prayer quite a bit to help cope with all of this. I know my wife is immature perhaps a narcissist as well as she has many of the symptoms.

I don't know. What you know is that she isn't behaving well, but then again... when somebody stores up a bunch of resentment and then--through a character flaw--uses it as an excuse to have an extramarital affair, then... they lose their way.

She has lost her way. That's what you know. Nothing you can do about that. It's not up to you, God or anybody else but her to face the difficulties and results of her choices.

I havent prayed for her so much as myself and DD1

Good.

Prayed for clarity, guidance, for someone to come along my path to help me and for the lord to take my pain away.

Try praying for strength to face this instead. OK, so you fell down. Now get back up. God (The Universe or whatever you want to call it) has given you a gift, and you don't see it yet. You have a chance to prove to yourself how strong you really are, how good of a MAN you really are.

[knightinneed]

Detaching is progressing occasional thoughts here and there well especially last night. But I blocked her facebook page and OM2's facebook page. Felt good to do that honestly, because I choose not to be " drawn out of hiding " as she calls it and to do anything detrimental.

Now OM1's W called me this morning with updates on the situation and has some really disgusting stuff to share with me, it just rolled right off my back.


She said that WAW was basically using her husband to get a house for them, because she is going to need a residence for when she goes to court for the baby. Luckily OM1 and his wife are on the road to recovery. She also advised the boss is closer to kicking my WAW out. Which is good.


WAW has had OM2 around my daughter, and OM1's Woman said that he was playing with the baby. Also I learned that WAW tried to sell a car that was borrowed from her friend, and well it broke down, so karma once again bit her right on the butt.

She also claimed something quite sadistic which I hope is not true. WAW takes care of a paraplegic as part of her job, well this guy likes WAW alot as a caregiver. Apparently, OM1's W said she heard through WAW's boss from one of the co-workers that this guy has a toy that he uses on himself and the nurses help him get access to it.

She said that WAW may have used her own hand. YUCK I dunno if it true or not, but it just reeks of insanity, now the kicker to all this gossip is that this paraplegic guy gets like 10K month. And well WAW may have asked for the paraplegic guy to move in with him and OM. Once again all hearsay but it doesnt suprise me.

I told OM1's W i dont really care about any of that, but just facts about DD1's care and or if WAW is doing anything that can be proven. I started to think, well ya know I have enough evidence already with previous court appearances ect.. That there is really no point in talking to her anymore. SHe did advise she will testify for me though as she Hates WAW and what she is doing to disrupt her H's family.

Im doing real well as far as GAL been hanging out with friends and reconnecting with some older ones, excercising daily and I am only 15 to go to get to my goal weight which is great as I am getting alot more attention.

DD1 is doing well and enjoyed a nice birthday party last Saturday with her cousins.

Now I do have a few questions yet again. I was reading some sitches over at infidelity, and well I am a bit confused as to alot of advice given there.

I know ALLEN A and Puppy advise a very hardcore stance on affairs.


And well since my sitch is now a full blown affair where she is advertising it on FB well last I checked, and OM1 W confirmed it as well and mentioned him by name and he has been at my WAW court appointed visitation. Her Boss supposedly was not to happy about it, as she is still married and bringing OM2 with her was classless.


I am wondering if some of the approaches he has advised would be applicable. Now due to no-contact that does not mean I would approach WAW or her boss or anything, but there are mutual friends at a bar where OM2 works, and also I am wondering if I could use Allen A's approach of a restraining order against this creep, because I do not want him around my precious daughter trying to play dad.

I would like to know some thoughts on detachment vs. Agressive attachment for the sake of my DD1???

Please advise DB people!!!!

[knightinneed]

Bump! need a reply!

[knightinneed]

Update !!!

The hole continues to deepen. OM1 W called today, and advised that WAW has finally crossed the line. WAW has a pic of OM1 on her WALL on facebook and refused to take it down at the request of OM1s W. Well OM1s W asked her boss to make her take it down as it is disrespectful well she did not.

So, OM1 W sent a email to WAW asking her to take it down. WAW sent back threatning emails from a clients computer, a paraplegic guy she takes care of as a homebased nurse.


Anyway OM1 W let the boss know, and WAW boss was livid. WAW was kicked out of the house, and likely moved in with OM2 - after this OM1 W said that she herself is filing a restraining order, and Boss is going to fire her for putting the company at risk.

I also plan on acting on the no-contact from criminal court, filing a restraining order on OM2 and also a mental inquest. She is digging a hole so damn deep i am pretty much scared, and if she wants to be a mom to her daughter in any capacity she needs to get serious professional help.

Thoughts?