Quick Recap. I have to make this drag out until November 16th because it is our 20th Anniversery, and is the difference between having insurance coverage for the rest of my life or not. WH is pushing because OW is pushing him. He DOES have documented PTSD and Alcohol related abuse. I've come to accept I am not going to be able to save this marriage, but I have to protect myself, and protecting myself means making it until our Anniversery. The letter was in response to his paying some of the bills, but not all of the bills he agreed to pay. I understand that the phone and satellite would not let him change anything because it was in my name, but he could have told me that 2 months ago, not let me find out by getting late statements in the mail.
Maybe because he's making me fight just to hang on to what he should be giving me by right, and by love. Ow is pushing him and he's pushing me. I don't like stupid letters from lawyers, and don't like having to respond to them. By making it seem I'm keeping things from him for which he's never asked. I'm intelligent enough to know it's mostly bluff and bluster, but it's so tiring. Wanting someone that doesn't want anything to do with you.
I'm also not sleeping worth a damn, keep dreaming of him. I know I should think smarter, not work harder. I really appreciate all the input from you guys. It keeps me from going off the deep end. It shouldn't be any great problem to drag this out a few more months. I'm just afraid he'll do something sneaky, and somehow push something through without my knowledge.
Your H is clearly not in his right mind. Obviously ow is pushing, but do you really think she is smarter than you?
Your H has a long way to go before he wakes up and realizes what he has done. You are doing an excellent job of covering your bases until that time.
I have no doubt that you can outlast his MLC if you choose to. Absolutely no doubt that you're able to do what you need to do to stretch this out to get what is your right and what you more than deserve.
Dig a little deeper for the strength that I know is there, Punkin. You've definitely got the patience thing down pat being a military spouse, no worries there.
Thank you again, SA. My appt. with my lawyer is on Thursday afternoon. I do much better at putting my thoughts on paper in letter form than scribbling points down on a paper. I think I will do that and let him 'lawyer-it-up' That may be the best approach. I've reached a point where I want to move on, but am stuck at the same time by my own design. I believe someone put it best as moving down a hallway, just leaving the door ajar so that WH can peek in and follow if he wants.
Thanks Again to all you DB'rs out there for the support.
Thanks SA, You always say the right things. I thought about what I wanted to say all day at work, and then came home and wrote it all down, letter form, for my lawyer. Basically, I told them I waited 20 damn years for him, and he'd get a divorce when I got damn good and ready.
On another page, I went ahead and wrote down a workable settlement agreement for me. This is not to come up until the first court date in December. You'll know he's seen it when you hear the scream from somewhere in the Arkansas Mountains.
I do still love him, but I think it would be a mistake to ever take him back, unless he was bedridden or wheelchair bound. I don't want to go through this again when I'm 60.So, for me, rule #1 is to take care of #1. If he wasn't so blinded by fog, he'd know you don't push me or dare me. If this actually went to court, he'd look Very, Very Bad.
