I understand you wanting privacy but if you can tell us what state you are in that would be very helpful.
None of this makes any sense IMO. You are either not understanding what your attny is telling you or your attny doesn't know what he is talking about.
Unless your rings are in the million dollar range all of this seems a bit out there.
If your H's attny is not complying with the terms and conditions set forth by the legal procedure of your state then I do think (based on not knowing what state you are in) some sort of judicial intervention can be instated.
Legal paperwork and meetings can be overwhelming. Are you sure you are understanding this all correctly?
yet, it seems like my l is prepared with all of my stuff and his l is not sending over complete information. the law does say that pre-marriage stuff is excluded and belongs to me. this is a basic part of divorce law. my l knew that. his l should have known that but kept all of this stuff on with no evidence and no proof. all this back and forth, it's just costing both sides a lot of money. i'm okay if he wants out but how is helping us?
What do you mean, "kept" this stuff? If your husband files initial Petitions, and you file counter-petitions, you can REFUTE the initial pleadings, but they're still a part of the record.
Are you saying that your atty AGREED to treat these gifts as joint marital property, legally??
I understand you wanting privacy but if you can tell us what state you are in that would be very helpful.
NY
Quote:
None of this makes any sense IMO. You are either not understanding what your attny is telling you or your attny doesn't know what he is talking about.
initially when i first met with the l to provide evidence for my financial statement, i asked him if i was going to owe. he said based on salary it's likely he will owe me. when i first saw his financial statements, i was floored when i saw his claim on my jewellery and jacket. the jacket really shocked me. that was unexpected. i called my l and he said he was not surprised because i had told him that my h was going to do this. even though we knew the ring was mine. but again, what threw me off was that my l said "yeah, they tend to ask for the world and then we negotiate to somewhere in the middle." i said hold on, i have to negotiate for stuff that i own? he has claimed 100% ownership of the stuff that belongs to me. what man claims 100% ownership of a $500 ladies jacket? ok. let's calm down .. have my l look it over. have faith in my l.
the l has now completed a draft of our combined financial statements. we are awaiting proof on a lot of the stuff that h has claimed. the number can still change. however, as it stands. i owe him. despite making 1/4 of what he makes. that's not the kicker. the kicker is that if i were to include my jewellery under my net worth and he includes his ring under his net worth, then my payment to him is potentially 10x more than without the rings on the statement.
why would the l state this unless it was an option? so there is the potential that i have to put this on my financial statement? a gift that is pre-marriage must go on my statement? does this apply to all gifts or just my gifts? this is where i don't know who or what to believe. one day jewellery is off, next day the jewellery is back on.
Are you saying that your atty AGREED to treat these gifts as joint marital property, legally??
my atty hasn't agreed or denied to treat these gifts as joint marital property. maybe he's waiting to address it during mediation?
we are asking for proof on his bank accounts, shares, etc. they have not provided any supporting evidence on that. i saw the letter sent to h's atty and it did not address the jewellery issue. only made a request for supporting documentation.
I am in NY and was wrapped up in a horrible case (still am actually) for close to three years.
Something is not right here.
First of all, there is no criteria for spousal support; instead it is based on a list of factors established by the courts.
Second of all... if your H filed a divorce petition he MUST include a statement to support the grounds he has filed under.
It seems you are talking about disclosure when you say "drafts" and what you are saying is NOTHING like I had to fill out and trust me I had to fill out a ton of stuff (started as a divorce then went to a Separation Agreement almost 18 months later).
What do you mean by mediation? A pre-trial hearing?
If your H refused to provide supporting documents for financial disclosure you can either (A) both waive your rights to full disclosure or (B) judicial intervention will be requested on YOUR behalf by YOUR attny for your H's non compliance.
I have binders and binders of info on this BS and something is not right with what you are understanding.
Ok - I just looked it up from my own set of discovery documents and the final Agreement filed with the court.
The discovery documents (standard) state:
Non-Marital Property: includes gifts and inheritances given to ONE spouse, a vested pension PRE marriage and personal injury awards obtained during the duration of the marriage
Now this is all DURING a marriage. What was gifted to you pre marriage, even if joint funds were used, cannot be included in marital property.
Income can come from a job, contract work, investments and so on but "stuff" is not part of INCOME, it is part of the ASSET package. Maybe that is where you are confused?
What was gifted to you pre marriage, even if joint funds were used, cannot be included in marital property.
this part of the law is what h does NOT seem to understand. you would think that his l would know better but no, they put it down anyway, even though the law says gifts pre-marriage are NOT his.
ok, i understand it's the "it never hurts to ask for the world" mentality or "ask for the world and negotiate to some middle ground".
but he's said he wanted this to be a quick settlement. if you continue to allow your lawyer to do this back and forth stuff, it's going to drag things out and it's going to cost us so much money in the end. and if the law prevails, he won't get the rings back.
it's the way my h and his l are interpreting this part of the law is what frustrates me. it's pretty straightforward but it really seems like they are trying to see how patient i am with the settlement. if they drag it out long enough, maybe i will give up the jewellery.
i have about two weeks to detach. i see my l at the end of the month to discuss the next step.
i haven't spoken to my l since april. i have been in contact with the legal assistant.
she said things can change depending on what kind of proof they come back with but the chances are, he will have proof for everything. the stuff being asked for is pretty straight-forward.
i believe CG where gifts shouldn't belong as part of my asset list. is there something or some loophole that i am not aware of? i guess i thought i covered my bases and now i'm not sure. i don't know if it's detachment but self-confidence. i read the law. i understand it. but when i read something that is different from what i've read, i doubt myself.
