Sitting in bed , dunking rusks in my coffee and listening to the rain pelt down outside - snug as a bug!
H has S still, brining him back tonight. Last night I went out to my BGF and her H for some homemade chinese - burnt my mouth tho I thought only guys did that !! And bless her, for some reasons she always serves her protions of food 4 times bigger than what the average human would eat, and she is such a sweet person that everyone would rather eat the whole lot and feel sick than hurt her feelings...that includes me!! Had a very large tummy last night when I got home!
Feeling a bit weird still about H, having a hard time thinking about how tough it would be to get back together, and how I dont know if I have the energy to do it if it did happen
Pie, I went through this with my husband 8 years ago. Stage I MLC. It took about 9 months of Hell before we were able to operate again as a normal couple.
Here I am again and asking myself the same questions, can I go through this again. At this stage, it's a moot question. He hasn't shown any sign of wanting to return. Not even having much to do at all with our kids and grands.
My suggestion to you is at this moment, don't expend any energy thinking about it. We all, myself included, want some type of timeline to this torture. There isn't one. It could go on for months or years. It's up to you how long you hang in there. I still keep a count in my mind of how long it's been since we split, but I'm only human, and I no longer let it occupy my mind.
Hi Punkin - I think I'll take your advice on that one, I feel like I've run out of energy, all of this THINKING.....its driving me nuts, and I'm so tired of trying to put two and two together, and try predict stuff/ understand stuff
He's gone a a bit distant again - not cold, just distant...blase and sort of like - 'I can't really be bothered to make conversation but if you talk I'll respond with one word answers if you like' kind of thing...argh.
So not sure its becuase his family is down (he is reconnecting with them - apparently I'm the reason he lost contact, even tho he spoke so nastily of them for years)
Came to fetch S, my BFF was here visiting, he sat in the chair for 10 mins, spoke a little, and then left with S to meet his parents. Not trying to be friendly like he was a little while ago
So he has them as his comfort right now, so I'm not needed atm.
There I go ANALYSING AGAIN!! Someone hit me over the head with a mallet.
Just came to drop S off, had his dad with him, his dad came in, I gave him a warm hug as I always do, and me and H went upstairs to put S into his bed - hed fallen asleep, by the time we got downstairs his dad had already left the house and sitting in the car - shame I think he feels very embarrased about this whole situation - he always been very against divorce, either that or my H has been telling them I've been a pain in the ass for 12 years, and I did this to him Time will tell hey? In the 2 minutes that we were upstairs, H said, 'nice jeans, are they new?' So I said no they are 8 years old! So I think he was a bit embarrassed, and so oh, but you havnt worn them a long time hey? I said yes. He said, well theyre nice, I said thank you- but not as warmly as I intended cause i was tucking S in, so the compliment kinda bounced and I felt bad instantly that I didnt thank him PROPERLY. Oh well....
But its good that he's focussing on me hey? Or am i really scratching around for positives here...after all he did notice and compliment me just after the bomb, so could be nothing, but its a step better than a few months ago where he couldnt look me in the eye...hes definetly looking relaxed.
What stage of the MLC is that? Anyone hazard a educated guess?
I'm no educated vet, but it sounds as if your fil and you have a close relationship. I do with mine. I email him each week just to tell him what's up with the kids and grands. How's the weather there, all that BS, but I keep in touch.
I have been tempted on several occasions to tell my H that his husband sat on my front porch swing and broke down and cried twice about how his son was acting, but that would be betraying a trust with fil. I suspect this is the case with your fil. He will always love his son, but he doesn't have to always like him or his choices.
It would not have the desired effect. It is good that you did not do this. Your H would still be in MLC nothing would change. You can't do anything to fix it.
Hi Sa, Lance and Punkin Fil and I have always sort of gotten along wonderfully, because we are very similar soft souls, and we feel warmly to one another. I dont keep in touch as much with him,or the whoel family sadly Its awkward.
I can feel his awkwardness, and his dissapointment with everything I just feel bad for him really, hes such a nice person, could never in a million years fathom a bad word about him.
Anyway, his whole family is down for the next two weeks. Staying with him in his new nice big house
He came to fetch S this morning, and sort of stayed quiet. Its very unlike his personality to be quiet with ANYONE, so i wonder what the silence is about? He can't think of anything to say maybe? Feels awkward?
When I started telling him a funny story from the day before, he just about fell off his chair listening to every detail, telling S to be quiet, cause he's listening to mommy.
the story was about my BFF, she came round yesterday, and I've been telling her that I have 2 boxes filled with brand new unopened dummies(pacifiers) from a project I finished, didnt need them, and wanted to give them to our two friends with babies. She dug through the dummies like a hungry hobo scrounging for food, and hauled out a armful of dummies, clutched them tightly to her chest and said she wants some too....so i laughed, a little maternal she is methinks!!
Anyway, it was supposed to be funny, but he didnt think so, responded 'those two (meaning my BFF and her H) should get to know eachother more before they have babies' ;( So negative ;(
But I think he was upset I was giving dummies away, as we were talking about having another child just as he dropped the bomb (he had been asking for another child) argh. Foot in it I guess Guilt...guilt...guilt...for breakfast lunch and dinner Its awful...I hate it....
Fil and I have always sort of gotten along wonderfully, because we are very similar soft souls, and we feel warmly to one another. I dont keep in touch as much with him,or the whoel family sadly