I still don't get how to predict what is coming next. We are getting separated, I havwe dropped the rope. What is next in the script? Do I just go back to Robx thread and read through it? Is there a thread that lays out the sequence of the script?
Sorry to be so dumb, but I would love to be able to predict what is coming next and take steps to prepare myself. Right now I feel like what is coming next is dividing our "stuff", settling the ownership of the house, the finalization of the D and moving on.
????????????
I'd have to read your thread more regularly to help you with this, Dan. I'll try to get caught up better, and give you my take.
I will say, though, ifyou TRULY drop the rope (and I would add the caveat here that 95% of those that SAY they have, HAVEN'T), the wayward/walkaway spouse will usually try to suddenly draw you back. SHE WILL PURSUE YOU.
"I am grilling steaks for dinner and having a beer. How would you like yours cooked?"
Lead.
Quote:
"how about a legal separation instead of a D because it would be quicker?"
"I have decided that this marriage isn't working for me either. If that will make you happy then I will talk to my attorney."
Lead.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
PDT, I agree with the 95% have not fully dropped the rope (me included). Can you give some tangible ways to do this?
If my wife wants a S because the D is taking to long do I ask her how many boxes I need to get for her stuff? Do I purchase said boxes?
Do I remind her that our auto insurance is almost due in a month or two and I will have to remove her from my policy and it will no longer have the multi-car discount?
What other tangible things can I do other than not talking to her about R, not pursuing, no texting, emailing, or calling? I have those things down pretty good. I have very few other things to go along with them.
Chuck
Last edited by Chuck66; 08/11/1009:20 PM.
Me 44, W 39, S 6, D 6, M 21 Bomb June 18, 2010 I filed D July 20, 2010 W filed counter suit Aug 2 Rings came off Aug 5, 2010
It's also attractive when you are paying attention, listening and are tuned in. The dynamics change very quickly. Know your situation and become aware. Aware of the vibe you are projecting, their feelings, what they really are saying and your responses back. It's not glib, it needs to be sincere but without expectation - that's confidence. Something that projects a little confidence too is keeping your sense of humor.
Truth. Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
If my wife wants a S because the D is taking to long do I ask her how many boxes I need to get for her stuff? Do I purchase said boxes?
Do I remind her that our auto insurance is almost due in a month or two and I will have to remove her from my policy and it will no longer have the multi-car discount?
Yes, yes, yes, yes and yes.
I'll try to check out your thread for more feedback, Chuck.
If they are not talking, how can I pay attention and listen?
When you take care of business (TCB).
Kids - school, sports, hobbies, behavior Finances - car, house Moving - start talking about splitting up the Christmas decorations, photos, artwork,the kids artwork, music (all the emotional stuff) -while you lead
She will start talking and the opportunity is there.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Moving - start talking about splitting up the Christmas decorations, photos, artwork,the kids artwork, music (all the emotional stuff) -while you lead
She will start talking and the opportunity is there.
Yep. It's like the politicians; when you threaten austerity in their budgets, it's always "teachers," "firemen" and "police protection" they wail about first! They know that will get the public's attention.
