The problem is that this limbo is really hard on me, and on the girls.
Oh yeah, not a fun place to be. Went from one limbo to another.
First, whether or not she wanted to work on M. She said no. I moved forward. Then limbo about the finances. She was passive, I got the ball rolling, she still is passive.
Limbo sux, difinetive answers we can deal with either good or bad.
Be patience.
Last edited by gr8 day 2B alive; 08/12/1002:30 PM.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
Then I should listen to her? Just validate? That seems pretty manipulative. Trying to control her.
How is listening and validating controlling or manipulative?
Asking her if you should put the deposit down is controlling and manipulative. That's not your business.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
My question is about the kids. This week was supposed to be "his week" with them, but I have had them for most of it so far. I have them this weekend, then they are going to stay with the grandparents for a few days, then I have them again for a family trip up north. What do I do?
Go see a L and get a agreement drawn up. Visitation and how much money he pays you for child support. You are setting precedent now, don't let him set the precedent.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
But isn't that the same with asking her about divvying up possessions?
Who's possesion's are they? Wouldn't you have a say in what you get?
She wants out. What needs to happen on your end to make that happen?
"I have decided that this isn't working for me. You have 2 weeks to find a place to stay. Here is our visitation schedule and the financial agreement. We will need to seperate furniture and other household items. I will work on that Saturday, I would like you to help if you don't help then my choices stand."
You say you want out of limbo then get busy.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
I can't force her out. She's on the mortgage as well as I am. She'll just dig in her heals. And I don't want to leave my home.
You assumed alot there. Enjoy limbo.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
coach - do you think the emotional play applies equally to men and women?
Yes. But it's not a magic bullet. People need to feel and think thru their actions and the consequences.
Look at the emotional responses the men go thru here when they see their world being split.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
It wasn't until I made the choice to get things going that woke W up.
Now she has been more responsive, even communicating with me. (although not very well)
Take a stand. Show her (lead, right coach?) that you are OK with moving on w/o her.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
