What's the Most Shocking Thing your WS did?

[Vulcanized]

Optimus,

Why on earth did you ask W to dinner when she is still actively having A?

[Optimust]

I'm weak I guess. Just didn't want to look back either divorced or not and have missed an anniversary. At this point, I figured a mistake either good or bad is forgivable on such an important day. I don't see it as the straw that broke the back, and if so, oh well, if that's the type of thing that puts her over the edge, that's saying something in and of itself.

[Allen A]

Optimust, it throws a wrench in the affair busting process to go out to dinner with a spouse who is violating boundaries... you VALIDATE the affair when you do that...

[saffie]

Over the duration of my H's 18 month A, he did a 'nut' job on me and managed to make me believe that our family friends didn't like me. He managed to make me believe that they only stayed friends with us because they felt sorry for him and liked him.....but just suffered me being at social occasions. He managed to separate me from my support network and I still live with the legacy of it today - my confidence is something I struggle with, whereas I never did before.

He also didn't believe me when I tried to end my life - it took the kids to convince him that it was for real.

[Vulcanized]

Over the duration of my H's 18 month A, he did a 'nut' job on me and managed to make me believe that our family friends didn't like me. He managed to make me believe that they only stayed friends with us because they felt sorry for him and liked him.....but just suffered me being at social occasions. He managed to separate me from my support network and I still live with the legacy of it today - my confidence is something I struggle with, whereas I never did before.

He also didn't believe me when I tried to end my life - it took the kids to convince him that it was for real.

Saffie, I can totally relate. H rants every chance he gets that all of our friends "hate" me & warned him to not get involved w/me.

[TulsaTime]

I'm going to post my own incredibly outrageous antics while I was out of my mind during my affair.

While at the airport, I lost the OW's phone number. My flight had changed times and I had no way of letting OW know. I called my wife and asked her to find it for me! (which she did)

While in counseling, I was considering breaking it off with the OW, I asked my W if we (OW and I) could continue to communicate as friends!

I was so effed up but I'm better now. I can attest to the craziness one goes thru while enmeshed in an A.

[CD Bear]

Oooh.Let's see.

I know of three hotel and one camping getaway she has had with OM.

First was under the guise of a "ladies weekend". It was the first night since birth that she had not been in the same house as her daughter. I supported her need to get out of the house and GAL, too.

Second, was her "birthday weekend" her new girlfriend was taking her to "Mall Town" for some shopping. It was also Father's Day weekend.

Third was while D2 and I were at my parent's 50th Wedding Anniversary. The camping trip that I discovered on her camera and finally confirmed my suspicions

Last was to the resort that she and I first went to on our fist weekend getaway. Coincidentally, also happened to be the same resort HE took his wife (now separated) on THEIR anniversaries.
This where I gave them some "Infidelus Interruptus". Exposed the A to their employer and his parents and wife the day they arrived there.

So specifically hurtful it felt almost spiteful.
Last

[didthehurt]

well before i was married i had an affair, and it has to be one of the stupidest thing i have ever done....i helped move this girl and her 2 sons from central texas to missouri. I drove the uhaul. Then when i was flying back i realized that i didnt have a way to get back to my apartment....guess who i called...god i wish someone would have beat the @#$%^ out of me.....

[newmama]

Well, leaving me 8 months pregnant. How can he do anything worse?

Oh and maybe when he told me after S' birth that he was having such a hard time trying to juggle his life, working his ass off to see S and travel back and forth for his "relationship." Poor guy!

[Deep]

Well some of the things that WAS have done in this thread alone is shocking, mine would pale in comparison, but here are some highlights:

- Son, 3+ at that time, took alot of the brunt of her fog I think. His bday, hers, and OM all were within the same week. He got nothing from her, nada, zilch. That week, she had spent about 3 days in all going on roadtrips and spa getaways with him. I still remember taking him to collect the cake I had gotten a designer to customise for him in his favorite cartoon character. She was too busy acting tired so she could chat with him while we were gone. Oh, and he got a part in his playschool musical that year. She was going to fly off with OM that very night for 2 weeks in Europe. Too bad about missing his act.

And she was chatting with him about HIS kids and how proud she was of their achievements. Unreal. Well too bad for her then I busted the A less than 2 weeks before the trip.

- Asking me about web design and market development ideas for one of his companies he was considering hiring her to run (and co-own). Did I mention OM was loaded to the gills?

- My personal favourite. Getting me to join her and OM for drinks, together with some business contacts from Europe whose legit business dealings was their alibi for the planned European getaway. It was there that I first really smelt a fish, when an associate asked OM why he booked such an out of the way and "non-business" hotel for the stay and to move to one nearer the company to be visited; and the way OM replied "2 rooms of course" when asked how many they needed at the new proposed hotel. OM probably got a real kick of the way he got to shake my hand and buy me a beer with W between us.

And twice. She did this twice.