I am so glad you are over here now Hope--you are going to get strong through osmosis--the "vibe" is amazing around here!!
I freak out about the money too--I'm going for primary (in FL there is no joint) but you have to do what is right for your S. There just is no way he should get that much custody.
I pray we both come out of this with our sanity intact. It is such a horrific experience to have to deal with a raging S.
Take some time apart = Steer clear, I am two-timing you and don't want to get caught...
Yes. Very, very often. I recognized that immediately and so I found out the truth right away.
Hope4, your H wanting to separate and wait several months to try counseling sure sounds to me like he either was already involved with her, or hoping to be, but not ready to cut you loose yet.
Sorry, but I am VERY skeptical and suspicous when someone tells me the affair started after spouse moved out.. particularly when there is no work done to verify this is the case...
I at the moment am assuming this information is all coming from... the cheating spouse yes?
Well there is evidence that he was using prescription drugs before our break up - he told me this.
"Because our M was so miserable" of course.
I still say that what I did was what caused him to leave. What caused him to stay away and not come back was the OW.
This is why I feel guilt at filing for full custody - in emotionally abusive relationships both parties are often at fault for engaging in horrible fights.
Soleil! Great to hear from you! How are you? I"ll have to catch up.
We have a legal sep that I didn't ask for anything besides enough money to live and stay in the house.
Now looking toward D, I am talking to a new, more aggressive L who will help me fight for custody.
Allen - it's all embarassing - you sent me toward Cuccoon and it's similar to that poster's - but not quite as huge. I had been msierable for a long time, but in denial. He was verbally abusive, I would not detach and get into fights with him, originally hoping to "get him to listen" but they would spiral out of control. This would happen monthly.
I started fantasizing about other men when I was doing theater. My close friend said "Don't you have any sex?" I realized not only do I have no sex or affection, I was walking on eggshells around him, and doing everything social by myself, people thought I was a single mom. I eventually kissed another man. H found out. H left immediately.
When H left, I wasn't sure I even wanted him back and played it "cool" like no big deal you left, I"ll move on.
At first he was saying that he didn't want a D, the move out was temporary for four months, and we'd start MC then, after his hurt settled down.
But that proved a fatal mistake (where I take issue with DB). He took me literally and went and got a gf, filed for legal sep, got an apt with a lease and the hell began. Suddenly it was everything I had ever done our entire M back to the first date. We should have never gotten married. He should have seen the red flags, not put up with me who scares HIM etc.
My last threads are full of the constant criticisms and berating I got daily for the past year.
But now you see I'm not innocent. When he left is when I turned around. I have been in IC, support groups, stopped theater for eight months and spent all my time with S, tried to get H to go to MC and work on our M.
