I haven't posted on here in a while but stopped by and this thread caught my eye. My H definitely seems to be somewhere in these final stages and any insight I can get into navigating through it is so appreciated!
Hi Wonka- Thanks so much for sharing your experience. Each MLC experience is unique but it is so helpful for the LBS to get as much information as possible from the MLCer perspective.
Originally Posted By: Wonka
My fog really thickened from the bomb dropping (May 2003) until it cleared out sometime around March 2004.
How long do you think it was you before you entered acceptance?
Originally Posted By: Wonka
It was during this stage that I was alternatively nasty and gentle with my XW. It was a lot like Jekyell/Hyde. It was not conscious at all.
Did ever find yourself telling your wife something that you sincerely meant and then acted to the contrary? I am trying to understand my H telling me last week that he wants to be a part of my life but then he doesn't contact me.
Originally Posted By: wonka
At a subconscious level, I came to terms with my parents' divorce at aged 11. It was never verbalized.
Were you aware that this was one of your issues and did you have others? Did your issue(s) just resolve themselves or did you have to work through it (them)?
There was a poster from a few years back that had gone through his own MLC. He had several names...finally_free, happy_again and happyincognito.
Here is one posting where he spoke about his withdrawal...
Originally Posted By: happy_again
Was there ever a time when you completely withdrew from your W and had not contact for a long period of time?
I think I went about 3 months at one point but i drove by the house a few times and once parked outside the kids school to see them playing outside. you must understand that it wasnt because i didnt love my family or want them i was just so mixed up in my head that each time i went to visit them i would leave feeling so much guilt and anger at myself and the situation.i did think about them dozens of times a day.each time i was out i would see something that reminded me of them a song on the radio Allies favorite coffee or something for one of the kids.there were times when I would call home and if there was a tone in her voice I would take it as her having an attitude and I would berate her and yell at her for making me feel like [censored]. now tell me who in their right mind does that to someone they love?
Last edited by job; 03/21/1709:16 AM. Reason: removed corrupted links
Thanks for the links! When I came to the board 2 years ago I stumbled upon Happy's threads. I found them very interesting, printed them out, and read them from time to time............but NOW, in the context of this thread, they are even MORE interesting. Good find! Thanks!
There is also some good stuff from a few years ago in posts by "Favoriteweirdo" and "Butterflymom" aka "BFM." FW very candidly gave chronicle of his MLC after returning to BFM - and he posted after BFM asked that he get on and "help" us WAS's. The sad thing was how many people lashed out and criticized him for doing this.
I'm not techno-savvy or would see if I could post them here......put I bet someone (Lance?) can do it.....I can find them on my old screenname, so if needed with instruction I could give it a shot......
"Do not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness." - James Thurber
Can you tell me how to find other posters' messages?
Go up to MY STUFF Click on Watch List Click on Watched Users Click on Edit Watched Users Click on Add a user to list Type in user - "Butterflymom" Select her as a watched user. Click on her name Click on show all posts.
