I don't know the stats. I have heard some say, that the stats are skewed against reconciliation anyway. Because people who have 'close calls' may separate for a short time period, but get back together. They may have even used DB techniques without realizing that's what they were, but they never sought out the website. Often there may even have been a brief affair but the couple reconciles and not even their family ever knows about it...
It tends to be the people with situations that are dire, or that have gone on a long time, that come here looking for answers and advice. So, by the time we get here, we are already in a minority group. Also some people did a quick fix the first time so by the time they come here, there relationship has already been to the brink and back more than once.
I suppose you could say I was successful because she'd filed for D but then we reconciled.
This time I won't even try to get her back. It's like when you were little and you split a sandwich in two to share with a friend. You always handed them the smaller piece but just to be sure you took it back and compared it again then handed it back and said 'here and no backsies!' Well, I'm giving STBXW back to the world.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
That is too funny! That's why I like the commercial where the mom says one kid gets to cut the sandwich, the other gets to choose the half he wants...makes it less desirable to skew the sharing.
And, I don't think we are in the minority meaning the minority of people get a D. I mean we are some of the few who keep at it and try to change things for the better instead of giving up, getting revenge, or just tossing our marriage out like used goods and trading in for a new one... I like being in this kind of minority.
I am a mix of both. Ex had an affair shortly after we got married. It lasted about 2 years. I found out when she called me. I didn't talk to him for about a month(that's going dark!!). Then I had a bad accident with a deer and rolled my car.
The accident got me thinking. I did still love him and he promised never to hurt me like this again(this last time was way worse). We also had fertility issues which played into my forgiving him. We went on to have 4 kids. We had to use fertility drugs for our first 3, number 4 was a complete surprise.
I am not sure if he had more affairs before this last one, doesn't really matter. I do know that he was fairly disconnected from the family for the last few years we were together. He had a hard time with our youngest as she had frequent meltdowns.
So it worked for fifteen years before it fell apart for good.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I would say less than 10% and even less if you count those that do reconcile but divorce later on (like years later). Of course some people when they do reconcile, they stop posting.
In my days (2008-2010) and from my "circle of friends" I've seen only 3 solid reconciliations :Gforce, Ali and girlfromipanema. And I am talking out of approx 100 stories. The group we have on FB is indicative...
Besides Gforce, Ali and GirlFromIpanema, there is also Kalni, Puppy Dog Tails, Coach/Greek, Jack Three Beans and Twin Dad as marriages that were saved.
Dont count me in yet Kerry and Coach and Greek are counted as one and Puppy I thought was before my time, Jack as well... If I count them in,the stats are worse...
