Yeah, I'm just lost at words right now. All I know is she will get what is coming to her, one way or another. No way I'm taking her back at this point. I agree she needs help, rather cut my loss now and find someone better. Isn't that why I worked on my issues in the first place?
Going to focus 100% from here on, on me. No more crap. There is better people out there.
My furkids are Beagle and Springer Beagle is old and drives me nuts but she's my bedtime snuggler. Springer is my all purpose good dog.
You know, even though your Brother has stairs least you can be in peace. Obviously you need your surgery, so maybe you should get out and go there. Seriously. What act is more for putting yourself first, than that? Might not be ideal but it will benefit you. Put you first and avoid what your H is making you feel you have or might have to do. Look it as home and physical therapy at the same time Just let your L do the talking, and set his A$$ free. No need to try anymore.
Hang in there, look forward to hearing your decision.
I understand being lost for words right now. All the pain, shock, sadness, anger, good/bad memories and fear of the future is swirling inside your head.
Yes, your WAW will get what's coming to her, (affairs don't generally last and who wants to stay with a cheater, it's a negative way to start a R), but please try not to focus on that. It's a negative and will drain your energy. Focus on getting to that happy place for yourself. As you said, you are working on your issues 100% right now for yourself and that is a gift to yourself. Yes, we all start DB in the first place so we can be better.
Your furkids sound sweet-having a bedtime snuggler like Beagle is a big comfort. I bet Springer likes long walks?
Yes, the stair issue at my brother's can be resolved.I can stay in the den downstairs, but he'd have to remove alot of stuff from the room. I wish to minimize the stress I place on him as he suffers from Multiple Sclerosis and has alot of pain. He's my oldest brother and I love him dearly, we have always been very very close. Today, I still am planning on the surgery and will see how it goes when I return to H's home for the recuperation portion. If things deteriorate, then I will have my brother's girlfriend pick me up and will stay at my brother's until I can return to H's to pack and get my things out.
H is showing his true colors.It's quite interesting how he went from "friend" to "foe" in a matter of seconds when I questioned the finances. I am not surprised.
Believe me, the gloves are off and I am up for whatever H tosses my way.I am a fighter and once I make up my mind to do something there isn't any way it won't be done.I redid my monthly budget , it's higher now. H is H's a$$ wants to be free, so that is what he will get, BUT not without a price. I need to have enough $$ to support myself until I get a new job. It's all nuts and bolts things that H as an engineer should understand. Has nothing to do with "taking him to cleaners" as he likes to say.
Hang in there, walk your doggies and cuddle with them, and receive their positive energy and love. Pets are a huge comfort, we need them more than ever now.
I'm glad you are going through with your Surgery. Your health is very important. Regardless of H actions, you can't put that off. Hopefully, you will not have to move in with your Brother, but least you have a plan.
Yes, you sound like quite a fighter. You are definitely not a quitter. Sounds like your H has a little boy acting out in him. Just stay calm and don't reward him him. L's can do your talking. Focus on healing.
My sanity will prevail. I haven't really felt anything at all today, just a little anger at my past actions.
Beagle wouldn't sleep with me last night, I think I was killing someone in my sleep. LOL All my Springer lives for is to catch her frisbee. Loves it. Wears her out too. Eyes are all bloodshot when we get home and she snores. Cracks me up.
Yes, your sanity WILL prevail. The anger is all a normal part of the "grieving" and coming to terms with reality of sitch process.
Thanks..I believe I made the right decision too. I need that "new right hip" and will go into hosp. 09/27 for the new bionic parts. LOL. Once surgery is complete, I will have a matching set of "artificial hips". I had a hip replacement on the left side in 2004. I have a genetic bone disease given to me by my mom-she feels guilty about that, but I tell her just don't give me your breast cancer too!!
I think H will be an okay caregiver as long as we don't argue. The first surgery he took a week off work to take care of me, but I told him after 3 days to go back to work. I could tell he hated being a caregiver. THAT was a red flag.
We are in mediation for the Leg sep or D ( most likely D), and the second appt was rough due to alimony issues. H started getting VERY angry, (little boy temper tantrum/been D already once and mad as hell he has to pay another W alimony.Too bad since he doesn't want to stay married), and mediator told him to calm down. H said some really insulting things. I stayed calm, but firm with my position. Mediation isn't a cake walk either, but it beats the heck out of paying $25 grand for litigation in a contested D. I recommend mediation- good luck if you go that route.I read your post stating you might do that?
Sounds like Beagle got scared last night with the "killing" you were doing in your sleep!!! Just keep the "killing" confined to your dreams, okay!! I have had some bizarre dreams since the whole bomb sitch started.
I pegged Springer as the running/ jumping type. Too cute about how she gets worn out and snores from frisbee chasing. As I said, pets are such a comfort.Just watching them makes me smile. Their antics are often hilarious. My brother has two pugs, Molly (is a puppy) and Leila, who is three. I will greatly enjoy playing with them and also walking them while I live with my brother temporarily.
I will say a prayer for you nightly, FaithnAK. I care. I am glad you are hanging in there.I read some of your posts from yesterday and I know you are struggling. It will get easier in time.
Thanks..I believe I made the right decision too. I need that "new right hip" and will go into hosp. 09/27 for the new bionic parts. LOL. Once surgery is complete, I will have a matching set of "artificial hips". I had a hip replacement on the left side in 2004. I have a genetic bone disease given to me by my mom-she feels guilty about that, but I tell her just don't give me your breast cancer too!!
GOOD GRIEF! No wonder you're such a good fighter! How bad is the disease? Does it go elsewhere or just your hips? I truly hope your request about the cancer goes thru. LOL. Not funny really.
Just out of curiosity what did he say? It must have been bad if L asked him to calm down.
My W pulled her deposit. She's in full run mode now. I guess. Oh well, I actually laughed. I want mediation but maybe sending a message to her will be required. I can't break up her "Love Feelings" but when they die off I can make her remember the loss. At this point I can't play fair, but I want to send the biggest message in the cheapest way. LOL
Too bad, this crap has to happen. Oh well, I'll at the least be able to live with myself. I truly think I've let go, but detaching is the issue that might be unfolding. Not much I can do til her freedom is complete.
Dogs made me so MAD last night. It's funny today though. Beagle all of a sudden remembered she likes to bury her bones. However, she remembered after a muddy rainfall! Came in house and left MUD EVERYWHERE. I dreamed about skinning her that night :P It's funny today though. Dogs were chasing each other round the yard and I was grateful I had the opportunity to watch them.
Keep praying for me and I will return the favor. Hope you can post after surgery (Laptop?)!
Yes, the humor helps a bit with the fact my bones are "bad". I have "bad" bones pretty much everywhere, but the hips are the worst.I take very heavy duty non steroidal meds for the pain and I do pretty well for everything except the the hip joint, which need replacing as it's a bone on bone sitch. Pretty painful, I must admit, but I am sure it could be worse so I deal with it.And once I am fully Bionic, no more hip pain!!! The non steroidal meds are terrible for liver/kidney function.We all have our crosses to bear right??!! Could be worse.I am lucky I do believe.I truly feel my mom will keep her breast cancer to herself-so far so good on those nasty to get mammograms!!! .lol
What H said at L meeting was that I am changing the budget daily, that I am milking him for every nickle , that I could live with a lesbian or F--k buddy and get financial help which meant he should pay less money. L was not pleased. I think she handled it all very well.She told H, "well you can go to litigation and pay 25 K or you can agree to pay Susan the alimony she NEEDS to live on". L also said when we were discussing alimony when my H got mad, she said what did you hear Susan say? My H said she wants to take me for as much as possible" The L said, no I heard her say she's scared she won't have enough money to live on. Basically H just got very angry and his true colors showed.It was quite interesting. This am we had another fight about alimony, this time here at home.I left for the day after that "discussion". H said the D is ALL my fault. Typical WAS comment.
Your W pulled her deposit on ?? Yes, send her the message in the cheapest way. There do need to be boundaries.
You are right, too bad this crap has to happen, but as long as you can live with yourself, you are doing great.
Oh my, mud everywhere!!! Sounds cute and funny but bet it wasn't for you at the time!! Gotta love those pets though. it's healthy for you to watch them play~
Yes, I will post after I return home from surgery. I should be home on the 29th!! Only two nights in hosp. YAY!!! I have a laptop too.
The prayers will continue, my friend. Hang in there~
All the contact W and I had last week just made me realize that she's gone and there is no more trusting her. So no more communication to her from now on regarding ANYTHING, today I'm working on getting mediator so all messages and financial issues can be discussed 3rd party. I made up my mind that's the best for me. No more lies, no more trying to decipher her mind, or hear anymore of her provoking comments. I'm just done setting myself up for disappointment and enabling her.
Now I just hope the hurt of this situation dies off as fast as possible. I'm just want to move on.
Today, I am okay. It's different each day. Some days I do okay, then others, I am a wreck. I cry, let it all out (in private), give myself a positive self talk lecture, pick myself up and try moving forward again. This is the hardest time of my life for sure.
Thanks for asking. You are right- my H is an (angry) a$$hole. His only goals now are keeping as much of our money away from me as possible, reminding me the failed M is all my fault and reminding me of what I will be missing once I leave (beautiful house, security, traveling, etc), and getting rid of me by Dec 1st, so his D38 can visit in December and they can have the house to themselves with me, the evil stepmama and W not around. lol.
I am sorry you are hurting so much. But the decisions you have made are the best ones for you and your sitch. Your WAW cannot be allowed to jerk you around anymore. We have to take their power away and we do that by dropping the rope, letting them go. Doing this is the way we begin to feel good about ourselves and move closer towards that good life that awaits us. With that being said, it's not easy- it's two steps forward, three back , until we become strong enough to take only forward steps.
H and I see mediation L again tomorrow. Meeting will be interesting as H has taken the previous alimony amount off table and replaced the numbers with some new ones that at first glance seem to benefit him.I have to work the numbers. I wish H would keep the money and work on the M, but he refuses. So we are lawyered up and off to fight in the ring.I prefer not to fight, but H isn't being "fair".
Hang in there- keep hugging those furkids for comfort and know all of us on these boards care about you~
Beagle is old and drives me nuts but she's my bedtime snuggler. Springer is my all purpose good dog.
Has nothing to do with "taking him to cleaners" as he likes to say. 
I cry, let it all out (in private), give myself a positive self talk lecture, pick myself up and try moving forward again. This is the hardest time of my life for sure. 