Seriously the upbeat sound of her voice is really driving me crazy, how in the hell does someone change into that type of a person? She is leaving now with all 4 kids, I got home and went straight to bedroom. I hope I can fall asleep, this is a friggin nightmare I swear. I just don't see how it's possible to get her back.
She took the 4 kids to harvest fest, then we passed eachother without a word. Well not from me anyway. I just grabbed my oldest and headed off to a bday party for her friend. Left W dealing with the other 3 kids... She was stressing and called me a dumb something or other. I just tried to seem content and left. Returned home, she was to spend the night at her girlfriends, I doubtbit but I can't be paranoid... Besides it doesn't matter I can't do anything but stress. So I walk in she walks out said something and off she went... Didn't appear angry just in a rush... Giving me a dose of my own medicine I suppose... I said nothing. This just doesn't feel right... I almost feel like I'm being rude; however, the alternative of being kind didn't get me anywhere either... 2-3 days and nothing changed. If I have to continue at this rate I'll be exhausted to death mentally. Why is she so ok with not talking? I guess she just doesn't give a crap about me. Seems clear! She's moved on and likely not to return based on her attitude. She's probably glad I'm not speaking. FRUSTRATED but still silent.
Detatching?! We have 4 kids! How in the he'll do you do that without appearing to be a bitter axxhxxe?! I'm so confused. To what extent to we talk? I'm so tempted to just text her "goodnight", dare I?
I am trying to be (well in front of her anyway) upbeat, possitive, non-confrontational, but I feel like no communication at all is gonna guarantee it's over.
"She came in our room a little bit later crying wondering why I was ignoring her and why I hate her so much. I told her she was the one who didn't want me around her, or talking to her, and I didn't understand why when I respected her wish she was mad about that too."
This works. You ignore her and live your life happily the way you want to.
The fact that she wanted to give you soul custody of the kids shows that she's got some major issues. So start doing things with the kids on your own. Just yourself. Show her your self-sufficiency.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
"Detatching?! We have 4 kids! How in the he'll do you do that without appearing to be a bitter axxhxxe?"
First off...CALM DOWN. Most of us have kids so don't think we don't understand. Detachment is a state of mind. You detach your emotions from her. Treat her like you would someone you know casually at work and not a wife.
Have you actually read DB or DR?
You are letting your W's emotions control yours. But you notice that when you act in a way that she isn't "expecting" i.e. the ignoring, she feels "hurt". CONTROL YOURSELF. Don't let her control you. You don't need to be rude or a d*ck. Just do things in a matter of fact way.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Ok today was the kids first day of Sunday School. I went to mass and was with the 4 kids alone during the Family Day of Subday School. Was a tough chore, but I told the wife, who only texts me now, that it went well... (wasn't lying cuz everyone did survive). I got the kids lunch and we switched cars in the alley, she was inside and she had her back to me and just asked how it went, I just said good and went to switch laundry. She left and said nothing else. Not sure if she was aggitated, but texted as she left, " Don't forget to sign upfor that co parenting class. I signed up for mine already." that class is mandatory to proceed through to divorce. I had thought about asking her to attend a Retro weened, but she is solid ice! Any suggestions? I think that class is my only hope, and ther is one in middle of OCT.
As for my response to that coparenting class I just texted, ok... I had previously begged her to hold off till Nov, which she then agreed to... I guess she changed her mind again. I know I'm suppose to ve going dark, but it feels like she is getting exactly what she wants. I'm doing ok on the going dark thing, I guess, but no master. I do think at this time, if she asked for a hug, it would be rediculous to turn her away. I feel I'm in tough shape and her attitude makes me feel hopeless.
