Looking for help with WAW - 2

[mza8]

I agree with you that the process took too long. That's why I clearly told the agent that if their buyers did not submit a contract by last Wednesday then I would move in a different direction. W was upset with me that I gave them a deadline and felt I pressured them and that's why they backed out. I disagree with her. We needed to know before the auction date if e had a contract or not.

According to the buyers agent they were very serious about submitting a contract. Sometimes the agents get jerked around by the buyers too. The whole situation looked promising until the last minute and they decided to back out. Even though I was waiting for that agent I still was moving on to other potential buyers. We have another showing this weekend.

[TulsaTime]

mza,

This happens all the time in real estate, the backing out stuff.

[Steve McQueen]

The man I was is the man she fell in love with. I will become that person again…if not for her then for someone else.

this is why it is more of the same. it is still codependent thinking.

[mza8]

Thanks Gr8.

W and I exchanged a few texts on Thursday. I tried to do the right thing and offered to call her with an update as she requested but it was too late for her that night. Texted her Friday to inform her of good news with bank. She texted back Saturday saying she heard the news too and asked about buyers.

I emailed her Saturday night with a brief update. Updated her about buyers, told her I am taking care of it. Also told her that I finished all of the last fixes on house. Finally was able to finish the work. That was about it. Haven't heard from her since Saturday.

Her brother's wedding was Sunday. I kept myself busy all weekend which helped me take my mind off of it...not being there. That's about it.

[mza8]

Steve, I didn't mean for it to sound codependent. I was trying to convey that I will become a better man. I know it needs to be for me and not for someone else. I just wanted to say that I look forward to becoming this better man and some woman will get the benefits...whether it's my W or another woman. I thought this was an important step in moving forward for me.

My W is correct that her and I are in two different places. I do hear her and understand her. Clearly she has major trust issues with me and does not want to open herself up to me to be hurt again. I'll be honest, I have no clue how to overcome this with her. I thought I knew and tried to be an honest person with her to have her think about regaining her trust in me. I now know that I can't force her to see anything. All I can do is live my life with integrity and if she chooses to see it and believe it then so be it.

I'm really not sure if there is any way back for my W at this point. Her trust and hurt issues might be too much now. I don't know. I have learned to let go. More specifically I have learned to let go of the outcome. Anything and everything I have tried has not worked. It took me a ong time to actually know what it means to stop doing what doesn't work. I listened to those words but it didn't sink in until recently. I'm not wasting more time doing things that don't work. The time has come for me to be happy...with or without her. I will always believe that this M could have/still can work out and be great. Right now that decision has to come from her. In the meantime I'm taking my time to think about the next steps in my life and what I want. It's been years since I asked myself what I want. I have to say that I like the possibilities. I'm ready to explore new adventures in life. It's time for me to see what is out there for me.

[gr8 day 2B alive]

mza8,

Sounds like you have a better frame of mind now.

Do you feel the lack of pressure on you since you've decided to move on with your life? No pressure is good for a R.

Now you can begin to focus on you and what's best for you.

Start living and know that things may or not work out.

I never thought my W would come back. Still hasn't but now there doubt in her mind about her decision.

Leave the door open and start living. It's a wonderful life out there. Find what makes you happy.

gr8

[mza8]

Thanks man. I'm just so tired of being miserable. I'm so tired of describing myself and my life with words like miserable, depressed, etc. I want to replace those words with happy, laughter, joy, etc. I'm sure this is how my W must feel too.

I'm not sure if I feel a lack of pressure or not. I'm just trying to catch my breath right now and figure out what I want. Some days I'm not even sure I want to keep the door open for my W...at least not who she is now. Honestly I do not find the person she is now attractive at all.

I don't think my W will ever come back. I still believe our issues are not insurmountable but I can't control her and I'm not trying to.

[pinhead]

Thanks man. I'm just so tired of being miserable. I'm so tired of describing myself and my life with words like miserable, depressed, etc. I want to replace those words with happy, laughter, joy, etc. I'm sure this is how my W must feel too.

You have a choice in how you live your life, what you focus on, what your values and goals are. Don't be passive with your life!

[gr8 day 2B alive]

Some days I'm not even sure I want to keep the door open for my W...at least not who she is now. Honestly I do not find the person she is now attractive at all.

I don't think my W will ever come back. I still believe our issues are not insurmountable but I can't control her and I'm not trying to

If you recall my posts months ago, I said the same things.


Now get ahead of her on the detaching curve.

[mza8]

W emailed last night to thank me for the update from Saturday. She asked some questions and then ended the email saying she hoped I was having a good week. Interesting thing to say this week. I haven’t received more than a “thanks”, if that lately. The questions she asked I’ve either already answered or she can find out on her own. She said she was very curious what happened with the original potential buyers (I’ve already answered that question) and also asked some questions about how the recent events with the bank helps us (she could call them and find out herself). That’s it.