Looking for help with WAW - 2

[mza8]

Update.

Have not contacted W nor have I heard from W for three weeks until yesterday. I had to call W to extend the listing on the house. We talked for about 20 minutes. Conversation was fine. Talked about house and agreed on things. I then emailed her the document to sign (needed by my office) to extend the listing. She mentioned the agreement we signed (her agreement) when I first listed the house three months ago. It was the agreement her L drafted where I agreed to use my commission towards the mortgage. She asked me if that automatically gets extended too and I said I hadn’t really thought about it. She didn’t mention it again during the conversation.

She hadn’t emailed me back the signed listing extension (my copy) so I left her a voice mail this afternoon telling her that I needed the signed listing extension before I could extend the listing. She emailed me about 30 minutes later, said she was sorry and she was in a meeting at work. She attached the signed listing extension document. She also attached an extension of the agreement her L drafted. All it says is that I continue to agree to use my commission towards the mortgage during the extended house listing. She asked me to sign her agreement extension and email it back to her.

What bothers me is that she clearly was waiting for her L to draft the extension of their agreement before she emailed me back my listing extension. It bothers me that she just couldn’t be up front with me yesterday and tell me she wanted me to sign her agreement extension. By the way she never once mentioned yesterday or today that she filed for D.

So now I feel forced into signing her agreement extension too. If I don’t she’ll be mad as hell. I never agreed to it yesterday when we talked and she never said she wanted to extend it. It’s not a matter of me not wanting to use my commission for the mortgage…of course I will still do that but it bothers me that she just can’t be up front with me. Obviously there’s still no trust on her end.

I guess I’m looking to see what others think here. I should just go ahead and sign her extension too right? She did email her signed copy of my extension and I guess she figured I would sign hers and send it back to her. Maybe that’s her way of showing me some trust on her end or maybe I’m reading way too much into it.

[Dudess]

She asked me if that automatically gets extended too and I said I hadn’t really thought about it. . .

What bothers me is that she clearly was waiting for her L to draft the extension of their agreement before she emailed me back my listing extension. It bothers me that she just couldn’t be up front with me yesterday and tell me she wanted me to sign her agreement extension.

I don't think it is at all 'clear' that she was waiting for her L when you spoke with you yesterday as you assume. She asked you if it would automatically renew. I'm guessing that when you said you didn't know, she called her L and L said best to renew the agreement as well.

By the way she never once mentioned yesterday or today that she filed for D.

Have you been served mza8, or did you find out about the filing through the court records?

If the deal about your commission is still in your best financial interest, sign it. If not, due to change in circumstances, then you may need to negotiate something with her.

I think it does show that she trusts you in this matter because she signed the listing extension without your signature on the agreement.

[mza8]

Hi Dudess. I'm glad that you are still following along with my sitch. You give it to me straight.

I don't think it is at all 'clear' that she was waiting for her L when you spoke with you yesterday as you assume. She asked you if it would automatically renew. I'm guessing that when you said you didn't know, she called her L and L said best to renew the agreement as well.

Yes, perhaps. I know it's mindreading on my part but it seemed logical. Either way it's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

Have you been served mza8, or did you find out about the filing through the court records?

No, I haven't been served. Found out through court records. She filed about two weeks ago. She hasn't said a thing to me about it.

If the deal about your commission is still in your best financial interest, sign it. If not, due to change in circumstances, then you may need to negotiate something with her.

Nothing has really changed (other than her filing). It's still in my best interest to use my commission which I am going to do anyway regardless of signing her agreement or not. It's also the right thing to do.

I think it does show that she trusts you in this matter because she signed the listing extension without your signature on the agreement.

Yes, that's what I thought too but wasn't sure if I was reading too much into it. I was sort of surprised to see she signed my document without me signing hers yet.

Thanks Dudess. I'm going to sign it.

[mza8]

Update.

W emailed me last night. She said it was a difficult email for her to write but she wanted to give me information and ask me a question rather than the alternative. Said she filed for D last week and her L needs to give me the paperwork. Said I could stop by her L’s office to pick it up or they can serve me with it. Said that after all we have been through I might prefer to pick it up rather than be served. She finished by saying there was no easy way for her to ask me this and she hopes I understand why she wanted to tell me first. Said to please let her know how I want to proceed with getting the papers.

My guess is the only reason she sent me this email is because they already tried to serve me at the old house but of course I’m not living there anymore. She tells me she filed last week. Wrong. She filed two weeks ago and the service went out two days after. So the service has been out for over a week and a half. I think her L told her they couldn’t serve me at the old house and to find out where to serve me. W knows where I am living now.

This email makes my stomach turn. This BS about it being a difficult email for her to write…please. Talking about all we’ve been through, no easy way for her to ask me this and she hopes I understand why she wanted to tell me first. BS! Once again she took the easy way out. She could have informed me about her filing for D when we spoke on the phone for 20 minutes on Monday. Nope, she can’t do anything in person or over the phone so she’ll take path of least resistance and send an email.

What’s she’s referring to about all we have been through in regards to being served is because I was served many times when my company was going out of business. It wasn’t a fun time. So I guess she’s thinking she will try to spare me from being served by her by telling me up front. Again, she’s not being up front. It took her two weeks to tell me she filed for D? Come on. The only reason she wants to tell me first is because I’m sure they already tried to serve me and I wasn’t at the old house. I really doubt she’s doing me any favors.

Part of me wants to respond and tell her that I already knew and ask why she waited two weeks to tell me. Also ask her why she didn’t tell me on the phone on Monday. I seriously doubt that it was a difficult email for her to write. I think the only difficult part for her was that she actually had to contact me. I will not pick up the papers from her L’s office…give me a break. She wants a D and wants me to run to pick up her D papers to me? LOL. No, she can have me served. That won’t bother me.

Anyway, just need to vent a little. I would like to ask her the questions about why she didn’t tell me sooner and ask her why it’s difficult for her. Also ask her what she hopes I understand about her wanting to tell me first. Tell her I am curious as to why she waited untl after I signed the house listing extension to tell me about her filing D. Not sure what asking any of that really gets me. I’m not going to respond angrily as that serves no purpose. It does bother me that she waited until after I signed the paperwork to extend the house listing to inform me that she filed for D. Yes, I already knew but that's not the point. She had an opportunity to be honest with me earlier and she didn't.

Thoughts?

[Starsky309]

i'd just reply "Either way is fine; thanks."

[Coach]

Said to please let her know how I want to proceed with getting the papers.

Just respond to her request. There is nothing think about. You are doing a lot of feeling and considering how to bring drama into the equation. It's OK to feel the way you do but it gets old. Not attractive to women.

[mza8]

i'd just reply "Either way is fine; thanks."

I like this suggestion, thanks. Simply and to the point. Nothing more.

[mza8]

Thanks Coach. I just needed to vent and get some feedback. I don't want the drama either. I think I remember W saying something about too much drama a while ago.

I'm getting much better at processing things as they come and then letting them go...not fixating on it. I continue to try to show her consistency in my actions...for what it's worth.

[Coach]

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

I'm getting much better at processing things as they come and then letting them go...not fixating on it.

Good.


Cheers
Coach

[Steve McQueen]

She's no good for you. She's been bringing you down for years. Didn't support you the way a wife should. Leaves you hanging, lies, sticks you with all the work on the house, not even decent enough to work through giving you some sort of closure. Who knows what else. Better off without.