I realize that your wife thinks she is being consistent, but she is not. She wanted you to move out until you decided that you would. Then she didn't want you to move out and argued that it was wasting money. Now that you've decided to stay, she wants you to move and says that you are torturing her with your presence. There are many things wrong with this.
First of all, it is rude. Whether by marriage or birth, you are family. One can't just kick people out of the family. But imagine that you aren't family, you are two people who agreed to share a house. What is the appropriate way to treat the other person who shares the house? Certainly she would not be saying this stuff to a roommate who was paying his share of the bills. She shouldn't say it to you, either. You have a legal right to live in that house, and rudeness is bad manners.
Secondly, it is she who keeps the relationship strained. You have offered to go to counseling and retrouvaille. Either, or both, would improve the way you relate to each other. But she steadfastly refuses to try to relate better.
Happiness is a state of mind. If you want to be happy, change your mind. She is a prisoner of her choices, not yours.
Not sure I get "what's the connection to other men's wives?"
I don't either but it seems to be your slogan at the bottom of your postings. I maybe so dense I don't get it. Anyway listen to the women a little. I'm glad you stayed put. Some of the men here have DB'd their balls off.
Not sure I get "what's the connection to other men's wives?"
I don't either but it seems to be your slogan at the bottom of your postings. I maybe so dense I don't get it. Anyway listen to the women a little. I'm glad you stayed put. Some of the men here have DB'd their balls off.
Ah, another LBS had written that his wife was just seeking a "mental connection" with some old flame. A wise forum member remarked with the "...genital connection" reply. I thought it was pretty funny as well as pertinent.
I realize that your wife thinks she is being consistent, but she is not. She wanted you to move out until you decided that you would. Then she didn't want you to move out and argued that it was wasting money. Now that you've decided to stay, she wants you to move and says that you are torturing her with your presence. There are many things wrong with this.
First of all, it is rude. Whether by marriage or birth, you are family. One can't just kick people out of the family. But imagine that you aren't family, you are two people who agreed to share a house. What is the appropriate way to treat the other person who shares the house? Certainly she would not be saying this stuff to a roommate who was paying his share of the bills. She shouldn't say it to you, either. You have a legal right to live in that house, and rudeness is bad manners.
Secondly, it is she who keeps the relationship strained. You have offered to go to counseling and retrouvaille. Either, or both, would improve the way you relate to each other. But she steadfastly refuses to try to relate better.
Happiness is a state of mind. If you want to be happy, change your mind. She is a prisoner of her choices, not yours.
Thanks, Lotus.
The other day she asked if she had a sign tattooed on her forehead saying "Hurt me" because all of her relationships had come to a similar point before. It took all of my DB training not to ask "what's the common element..."
The spew is just hard to deal with. For the first couple of months post-Bomb, things went pretty well between us, despite a lot of tension. This, this is just unrestrained hostility. Last night was a bit better, but not by much. Some CB I called her on, but just an unpleasantness that sucks.
She's unhappy, expects the men in her life to make her happy, and since I won't accomodate her by moving out, she's furious. At least by now I know what to expect from the script, but that doesn't make it much easier to tolerate.
