Should I say I love you? Part III

[JudoScott]

Old Thread

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2103054&page=1

[JudoScott]

I just blocked her "not my boyfriend"s number

I just called her. I told her

I wasn't going to allow her to use a phone I paid for to speak to him. She said who. I said your boy friend. She said he's not my boyfriend, I'm trying to get legal help from his cousin so you can unlock it. I told her I didn't care what the relationship was it was inappropriate and I wasn't paying for her to talk to him, that I was not going to unlock it. She said fine. I said fin and we hung up.

tension was thick

I feel stressed.

[JudoScott]

bump to get it above my old thread

[gutwrenching]

Ok you did it. There will be tension for a while. Not fun, but you can deal with it. Be mentally prepared for the spewing of hatred and nasty stuff and accusations of you being paranoid, etc, etc.

She isn't used to seeing you stand up for yourself, so her reactions could be all over the place

[Kimmie Lee]

Yeah. They all get "mad."

So what? You can handle it.

[JudoScott]

Feeling better now.. I can handle it. She needs to either really leave or make some serious changes in her life.

[JudoScott]

Last night I took our son to the drum circle and we had a blast. He thought is was so much fun and beggeed me to take him again. This morning we got ready adn she took me to work. On the way there I was talking to my son about it. She said that he wanted her to go next week. I think she might of been hinting at going alone with him but I am going either way. I told her that would be a lot of fun. MAYBE A FAMILY DATE! smile smile smile

I'm very excited. Part of my 180's is to spend more time with my son and family. Seems to be working some.

Also on the way in to work I played some music from my phone and she was totally into it. My wife wants to be a musician and music plays a huge role in her life. So I've been exploring music more and we've been having mini moments of bonding over that. If I play music and she really likes it we end up having really good conversations and this morning was no different.

Pretty good morning so far.

Also she has to see a surgeon today. She's got a hernia and is going to need surgery. I'm hoping that will give us some time to bond since I will be caring for her for a bit.

[gutwrenching]

Also she has to see a surgeon today. She's got a hernia and is going to need surgery. I'm hoping that will give us some time to bond since I will be caring for her for a bit.

DOn't count on it...been there, got the T-shirt. If OM is still in the picture, she will cake eat. She will use you to help get through the tough parts of physical recovery and go to OM for the emotional support. This is not something to get excited about.

What about her phone and turning off texts? What is the latest on that? If she is acting as if nothing is wrong, high probability she just got another phone (or OM bought one for her)...

[JudoScott]

- I'm not counting on anything. Its just an opportunity.

- She hasn't thrown a fit. I don't think she has another phone yet but I know she was looking into getting one. I don't care. I'm not trying to prevent contact at all costs, I'm preventing it on things I pay for.

- I also told her last night I would no longer pay for her to go out. She asked for money to go out tonight. I said I didn't know how I felt about that. She said.. why you've gone out 2 or three times lately. I said I didn;t feel comfortable giving her money to hang out with jarad. She said she didn't event think he'd be there. ( liar IMO ) and that she's not going to get to go out at all after surgery. I gave her 20 bucks and told her this was the last time I give you money to go out. I probably shouldn't of given her anything I don't know why I did but what eva its done.

[MrBond]

So is there any reason why you're giving her cash like an allowance? Sounds like you're treating her more like a teenager than your W. It also goes back to more control issues.

She's going to do what she wants to do with the money you give her. Boundaries with consequences need to be enforced here but in a way that fits a husband and wife. Not husband and child.