Should I say I love you? Part III

[JudoScott]

I am not going to finance her leaving me. If she wants money for things she can get it her self. We are "seperated" so the money is mine since its my paycheck. I pay for her bills and all essentials while she figures out what she's going to do anything after that is mine IMO.

[hurtinhartford]

MrBond I agree whole heartedly. I was going to respond exactly the same way regarding treating your W like a teenage daughter. Judo, could she possibly be revolting because she feels controlled by you? I did a lot of soul searching during the early parts of my sitch and realized that my control issues was one of the reasons that I am here.

[JudoScott]

She had free reign over the finances before she decided to leave. Once she decided to leave she had them for another 3 weeks then I took control of them. In the 5 weeks since shes told me she was getting a divorce she hasn't looked for work or a place to stay.

I am paying for everything but if she wants extra then she should get a job. I am not the one that decided to be seperate she is.

[JudoScott]

Further more by letting her control the finances and not standing up to her when I should have we wound up 10s of thousands of dollars in debt.

[TimeHeals]

Personally, if it were me, and with all that has transpired recently, I would have dropped her off at her mom's house the next time she asked for a ride, and then I would have had a third party drop off her stuff later that day.

It's a lot easier than putting her on an allowance or trying to keep her from going to see her boy toy and getting the police called on you, and then having her file domestic violence charges after she assaulted you.

If you get her out of the house, she can't pull this crap anymore.

I would definitely carry a voice-activated recorder around if you are going to be anywhere alone with her.

[JudoScott]

If I could kick her out I would of but I can't.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Why not?

[TimeHeals]

If I could kick her out I would of but I can't.

Funny.

I've seen 105lb women married for 15 years kick out their 210 lb, 6' 3" husbands.

[JudoScott]

Its illegal that's why. If she moves out on her own I can change the locks but you can't just kick someone out of their home.

[MrBond]

So initially before all this madness happened, you two came to the understanding that you would work while she is the SAM. So you had the right to spend the money whenever you wanted to, but if she wanted to do something that maybe you didn't agree with (not talking about A) you have the power to withhold the money.

"Further more by letting her control the finances and not standing up to her when I should have we wound up 10s of thousands of dollars in debt."

I don't recall seeing this in your posts. How did she use up 10s of thousands of dollars?